It is a sad day I know, my debt collectors armed with powerful weapons but these are my weapons, trained in my Asian cities. This loan in which I have proof you agreed to pay back in full was stated to aid you in purchase/rushing units each turn to Aid you in a War against "The Lady" in which you actively requested my presence which realistically isn't unknown. Although technically it was not my plan to wage any War against "The Lady" In fact I made it a point to be inaccurate to whom I was attacking and where and when. This was merely steps I was taking to elevate my military strength and watch both of yours stagnate or hopefully decline. Again this was not unknown. The fact that this war happened and how much of it happened forced The Southern Empire and His Excellency to commit a large bulk of their military strength on that "Line" leaving both Empires vulnerable from any other direction. A timely Nuke, a city razed were a few factors that allowed my or rather showed me that this line was not going to dissipate. So we have two fierce combatants whom I can with no embarrassment claim are far better than me in Specialized Empire Governing. This is a great example of the cost of War, it is nice that my "City Governors" did well in building my Armed Forces and I was glad to be able to gather unit groups specifically to conquer cities with one and even two defenders a few times over, consolidate and continue. This gained me the Gold I needed to compete with you two in Research. Had I chosen another path I might have been in peril.
His Excellency I am willing to except units at a 1 shield = 1 gold to a certain end. I do not want these missiles you have gifted me, they render you weaker than you need be. I am happier to receive Modern Armor, Mobile Artillery, Jets, Transports Stealth Bombers and Mech Inf units in that order or preference. The more powerful the units the more I will give you for it.
As for you being behind right now all I have to say on that is it is still early. Take the hit, repay your debt and carry on. Maybe you'll come up with a new strategy