Kark
Mad berserker
In this thread nothing is ridiculous. Correction: In this thread everything is ridiculous. It's intended to be.
Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders
- Thread starter Kark
- Start date
In this thread nothing is ridiculous. Correction: In this thread everything is ridiculous. It's intended to be.
r_rolo1
King of myself
Hum... and what happens in August of 2009 ?Russian Military (not so useful military)
-50% Combat odds against Napoleon but chance of being saved by the winter.
-50% Combat odds against Germany but chance of being saved by the winter.
-50% Combat odds against Japan (-100% with naval units)
Will suffer most losses in any war.
From 1950 to 1990 units are built 2X as fast.
+2from 1950 to 1990. ("We have the most powerful military!")
-5 diplo with America and NATO nations durring this time period.
After 1990 Unit cost increased 4 times until you go bankrupt, but you cannot delete them and they will not be disbanded forcing you you to watch your military might slowy rust away into useless junk.
+5when this happens.
+5from America and most other nations for 20 turns.
Additional
Dumanios
Hakugyukurou Gardener
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 4,926
That's probably part of the joke.
Ramesses
Ruler. Visionary. Pimp.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2008
- Messages
- 1,176
Jokes need to make sense too.
Kark
Mad berserker
World Series (Not-so-useful event with an absurd name)
Annual "world" championship of baseball. Can only take place in the American empire (and in the city of Toronto if you play a mod including Canada as a civ).
Annual "world" championship of baseball. Can only take place in the American empire (and in the city of Toronto if you play a mod including Canada as a civ).
I will try to make one.
Obama
Not so useful Great General.
+1 in all cites 1st turn he appears.
+2 in all cites on next turn and increases each turn afterword.
Can only be attached to Air force one:
Can not be moved as it is always in someone else's city.
Can not win battle as he does not want to win.
All Islamic nations get
All other nations at U.S.A.
Obama
Not so useful Great General.
+1
in all cites 1st turn he appears.+2
in all cites on next turn and increases each turn afterword.Can only be attached to Air force one:
Can not be moved as it is always in someone else's city.
Can not win battle as he does not want to win.
All Islamic nations get
All other nations
at U.S.A.
Ramesses
Ruler. Visionary. Pimp.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2008
- Messages
- 1,176
I will try to make one.
Obama
Not so useful Great General.
+1
+2
Can only be attached to Air force one:
Can not be moved as it is always in someone else's city.
Can not win battle as he does not want to win.
All Islamic nations get
All other nations
Continental Op
Warlord
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2008
- Messages
- 242
I sense the smell of a long and tedious political debate in the air. Coming this way.
Kark
Mad berserker
Let's keep it in the spirit of the thread. Instead of a political debate or a flame war, create alternative not-so-useful phenomenas. That's a lot more fun.
The OP
(who loves the thread, also when he don't agree politically with the other posters)
Hsinchu
Prince
General Stanley A. McChrystal (Not-so-Understood) Great General
Can only spawn on foreign overseas soil where you don't have any large stacks.
Makes military recommendations to build troops to all of your cities.
If you choose "I'm the one in charge here" more than 3 times in a row, McChrystal quits (self-deletes).
If you approve all troop build recommendations, McChrystal can join a foreign city as a Great Instructor.
If you transport troops to foreign soil and build a big stack, McChrystal can join your troops.
If you make it a goal to train the locals to defend themselves, McChrystal can found a Military Academy... in a foreign city.
+1
in every city you have if you have mass media, for the media frenzy.+1
in every city you have a military presence in whenever you refuse McChrystal's requests.Rosebud
Chieftain
1986 Queen at Wembley concert (life-changing event)
+5
in all your cities
+50 Hit Singles Ressources
Your Jail is destroyed because "I want to break free"
Event triggers the earthquake event somewhere in the world because "We will rock you"
England wins the next FIFA World Cup Not-so-useful Event because "We are the champions, my friend"
Destroys the Rock 'n' Roll World Wonder because rock 'n' roll died with Freddie Mercury no, seriously, guys
The Wembley Stadium becomes a religious shrine : +1
for every city with access to Hit Single ressource. Miracles happen in the penalty area; pilgrims rock fans flock to the city and reenact the concert every night in the stadium with original sound system, +100 in your treasury, +5 in your population
+5
in all your cities+50 Hit Singles Ressources
Your Jail is destroyed because "I want to break free"
Event triggers the earthquake event somewhere in the world because "We will rock you"
England wins the next FIFA World Cup Not-so-useful Event because "We are the champions, my friend"
Destroys the Rock 'n' Roll World Wonder because rock 'n' roll died with Freddie Mercury no, seriously, guys
The Wembley Stadium becomes a religious shrine : +1
for every city with access to Hit Single ressource. Miracles happen in the penalty area; in your treasury, +5 in your population
Dumanios
Hakugyukurou Gardener
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 4,926
I will try to make one.
Obama
Not so useful Great General.
+1
+2
Can only be attached to Air force one:
Can not be moved as it is always in someone else's city.
Can not win battle as he does not want to win.
All Islamic nations get
All other nations
Sarah PalinNot so-useful politician
+1
amongst the female populace+1
,followed by and among the male populationYou are able to see Russian territory because she can see Russia from her house
+10
with the FOX News not-so great wonder
mechaerik
Tuturuu!
I will try to make one.
Obama
Not so useful Great General.
+1
+2
Can only be attached to Air force one:
Can not be moved as it is always in someone else's city.
Can not win battle as he does not want to win.
All Islamic nations get
All other nations
Why did you make him a Great General?
He's obviously not a Great General, because Great Generals can't start Golden Ages.
Öjevind Lång
Deity
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2005
- Messages
- 2,371
Lech and Jaroslaw Kaczynski (Not so useful Great Person).
This twin couple functions as one person.
- 100%
in each of your cities.
+ 5 in each of your cities
Makes all other civs highly cautious towards you, but also gives them + 5 in everyone of their cities.
This twin couple functions as one person.
- 100%
in each of your cities.+ 5
in each of your citiesMakes all other civs highly cautious towards you, but also gives them + 5
in everyone of their cities.You figured that out.Why did you make him a Great General?
Great Generals can't start Golden Ages.
Anyways moving on.
Aquila SPQR
King
Badtz Maru said:
Not So Great Person:
Osama bin Laden - gives all islamic nations permament opinion as a civilizations made of citizens, who stopped their mental evolution at middle age. Two islamic coutries are reduced to rubble by bombing.
Not So Great Wonder:
Kaaba: -10
+5 fanatic rage. Enables unit "Meteorite Worshipper".
Ramesses
Ruler. Visionary. Pimp.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2008
- Messages
- 1,176
Fixed.
Ramesses
Ruler. Visionary. Pimp.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2008
- Messages
- 1,176
Michael Bay (Not-So-Great Director)
Appears in one of your cities 150 turns (years) after building Hollywood.
Immediate effect:
+3
in all cities from the hype over live adaptation of Transformers for 4 turns.After 4 turns:
+1
in all cities from letdown at the result for 10 turns.+1 extra
in city with Hollywood wonder.+1
in all cities from the hype over sequel for 2 turns.After 6 turns:
+5
in all cities from the movie being a stinking pile for 20 turns.+2 extra
in city with Hollywood wonder.+1
in all cities from the hope that third time's the charm for 1 turn.After 7 turns:
+10
in all cities for destroying everything else that is sacred to the franchise for 50 turns.Hollywood Wonder is destroyed (from rioting).
