Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

Teenagers/Fjortis/Pissis (not so useful random event)

Becomes available after mass media. The event uses one of the names described earlier, the first being the standard option, the second is for the Vikings and the third is for Finland.

The fjortis invasion targets a certain city. That city gains several :mad: ("Well, duh!"). The city will become the holy city of the fjortis religion, which decreases culture (Who cares about some dumb books) and science (I don't need to know anything because I look pretty), and totally destroys all corporations present in the city since they only produce boring things. Apart from Civilized jewellers, which can stay because "Oh wow doesn't this neclace look just fabultastic on me!!". Citizens are slowly converted to fjortis, who don't work and eat 3 food each turn. Each citizen that is a fjortis increases the chance of the infection spreading to any nearby city (or any city with an airport if the fjortis city has an airport too).

This includes a rule change - it is possible to nuke one's own cities. And with several nukes, it is possible to totally destroy a city. And be prepared to use those nukes - the fjortis spread rapidly.

Sir! It's the bloody teenagers! They're leaving the city for... oh no, they're heading right for us!

What you say! How many are they?

Over nine thousand sir!

Jesus Christ... arm the nukes!

Sir?

What are you waiting for? I want the nukes online - NOW!
 
The Light Brigade (not-so-useful event)
Requires two Cavalry units on the same tile. As soon as enemy cannon or artillery become visible to the player, the two cavalry units charge at it automatically (given more than one target, they will not choose the nearest) head on, thus not getting the flank attack effect. -50% versus siege units, 5% withdrawal chance.

The Thin Red Line (fairly useful event for the English only)
Requires two units of Redcoats on the same tile. Cannot attack, but get +200% in defence against all units until one unit is killed or either unit moves. Event, if active in the game, becomes "live" as soon as second Redcoat unit is trained, but only triggered if the pair of units is attacked.
 
Bushface said:
The Light Brigade (not-so-useful event)
Requires two Cavalry units on the same tile. As soon as enemy cannon or artillery become visible to the player, the two cavalry units charge at it automatically (given more than one target, they will not choose the nearest) head on, thus not getting the flank attack effect. -50% versus siege units, 5% withdrawal chance.
Click to expand...

You get +1 culture in all your cities though.
 
4Kids

Corporation
-100% Culture in the city
Negates any :) from theatres, culture, Hit movies, Hit singles and any other culture related :).
 
Keynesian-ism
Not-so-useful Economy Civic

  • High Upkeep
  • +2 :) in All Cities when your civilization is in deficit spending
  • +2 :mad: in All Cities when your civilization is in deficit spending
  • +50%:culture: from Bureaucracy/Barbarism
 
Great Iraqi Information Minister ("Great" Person)

Replaces the Great General for any civ that is being invaded and badly losing the war. Every time such a GP spawns, the attacking civ(s) gets an extra "Hit Comedy" happiness resource (+1 extra :D if it owns The Internet).
 
Movie/T.V Show/Song/Whatever Remake
Not-So-Useful event

Requires Hit Movies, Plays, or Records
Only occurs 20 or more years after you get the movie/play/record

+5:) for 5 turns, as everyone enjoys the nostalgia from remembering their favorite movies when they were kids

After 5 turns +10:mad:, as everyone realizes their childhood favorites were terrible in every aspect.
 
NASA budget cuts (Not-So-Useful random event)
Just like every Civ has an Apollo project, every Civ has a National Aeronautics and Space Administration - and a possible budget cut.
Effect of the event: The possibility of Space Victory will be delayed 100 years. That means the game may go on to 2150 AD. 200 more turns of play!
 
Not So Useful Event

Your head Explode

Your leaders head explodes for no reason and with no warning.
You lose the game.
 
Commisar (not-so-useful citizen)
Requires State Property and either or both of Bureaucracy and Police State.
10% chance per turn that one citizen in a city of size 10 or more will become Commisar of that city. He consumes 3 food, does no work,and acts as City Governor (which you can't turn off) making all decisions about production. Cities above size 20 may get two commissars, who swap duties as governor at random intervals and have different ideas as to what should be emphasised.
 
Intolerance, a not so useful religion

+1 :mad: and -1 :culture: in each city

temples have similar effects.
 
Sarariman (Salaryman) Not-so-useful Specialist

+10 gold, +2 hammers
50% chance of specialist killing himself from the incredible pressure and melancholy from the job.

Manga-ka (Manga Artist) Not-so-useful Specialist

+5 gold, +24 culture
Requires two citizens to create (one to write the manga, one for all the people who stop working to devote all their time to the manga created)

Xenophobe Not-so-useful Specialist

-5 culture, +2 gold
Every five turns, reduces foreign culture percentage overall by 5% (as in if in total 25%, then after 5 turns 20%)
 
Those specialists are pretty useful. The super artist is more effective than a great artist by far, and requires very little input (29 commerce/4 food, or over 7 commerce per food without representation!) The Xenophobe basically lets you invade without fear of culture, as you can purge enemy culture afterwards, and very quickly too! I thought they were supposed to be not so useful. :confused:
 
Sports related ones

Ohio State Buckeyes - College Football Not so useful national wonder

+ 5 :gold: in city with lowest culture
-5 :hammers: in city with lowest culture
- 10 :culture: every turn in city with lowest culture
+ 1 :) in city with lowest culture
+ 1 :mad: in all other cities

Tim Tebow Not so useful great person

+ 5 :gold:
+ 1 :health: in every city in the world that's not yours. (He only circumsizes kids from other countries)

Brett Favre Not so useful great person

+ 1 :) every 2 years when you think he's going to retire
- 3:mad: all other times
 
I'm sure it's already been done, but

The Superbowl, A Not-so-useful Great Wonder

+5 :) in all cities
-10 :hammers: in all cities
-20 :hammers: in the city in which it is built (does not stack with above -10)
+3 :gold: in the city in which it is built
-5% :science: in all cities because kids want to play football instead of be a famous scientist
 
You forgot the unhappiness in the losing team's cities.
 
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