Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

[Kark]

Exception: Jamaica

Every civ can compete in any sports event, including the Jamaican Bobsleigh team. But you would need a huge amount of artificially snow to stage the Winter Olympics in Jamaica.

 

[frizzy]

So don't stage it there. Just let Jamaica give a fraking damn and know what Bobsleigh is.

 

[Kark]

So don't stage it there. Just let Jamaica give a fraking damn and know what Bobsleigh is.

You're quite right. And even Kenya has it's own Olympic cross-country skier, Philip Boit.

 

[frizzy]

You're quite right. And even Kenya has it's own Olympic cross-country skier, Philip Boit.

OK, but has Disney made a movie about him?

 

[Kark]

OK, but has Disney made a movie about him?

Maybe the should have.

Philip Boit (Not-So-Useful Great Athlete)

12 Feb 1998: Bjørn Dæhlie of Norway congratulates Philip Boit of Kenya after Boit finished the mens 10k cross country race at Snow Harp during the 1998 Winter Olympic Games.

 

[Mallin]

The CSS Hunley (not so useful submarine)

.UU for the Confederate States of America.
.Once built it will move several spaces and then sink.
.You will then have to pay to have it raised and repaired.
.It will then move several more spaces and sink again.
.You will then have to pay to have it raised and repaired again.
+1 from every naval unit you have for 20 turns.
.It will then seek out a enemy ship and sink it.
.Instantly after destroying the enemy ship it will sink... Again!
.131 years later the wreck will be found and you will have to pay to have it raised (again) and turned into a museum exhibit.

 

[Silv Something]

. . . where a flood will come and sink it . . . again.

 

[EsaKo]

Long live Finland!

New Leader Urho Kekkonen:
FINlandized (+1 relations with that strong nation next to you but you'll have to accept every bloody demand they make)
PROphet (+1 happiness in all cities because they are convinced that Kekkonen will rise and rule the nation again...)

New Unique Unit: Hakkapeliitta
Replaces Cuirassier
Similar in all attributes to normal cuirassier but has a different set of sound bites ("Hakkaa päälle Pohjan Poika!")
+1 angry citizen (yes, those that don't work) in a city if kept there because peasants were obliged to provide food and shelter for the cavalry

New Unique Building: Public Sauna
Replaces courthouse (yes they are that important in Finland!)
+10% espionage (get those foreign officers drunk in the dressing room and make them sit in the heat until they give in and tell everything they know about their troop movements)
+10% gold (get those foreign traders drunk in the dressing room and make them sit in the heat until they give in and agree to a few favorable business proposals)
If there's no lake, ocean or river near the city, the people start digging a lake. They'll spend the next 20 turns producing a pit which can't be worked. Then they sit in the heat of the sauna, and wait for rain to come and the pit to be filled with water. Then they drink ale and wait a bit further, so the water freezes (unlikely in Civ). Then they break a hole in the ice and swim in there. After this, they get +1 happiness ("Feels good man.") for 6 turns, after which they go back to the sauna.

 

[Öjevind Lång]

Heavy rain around one of your cities (not so useful random event).

Nothing happens. Really. Except that there's a 000,1% chance that Leonard Nimoy will turn up and sing "I'm Singing in the Rain." If you listen carefully.

 

[Gen. Turgidson]

GG Allin (Not-so-great Artist)

+3 in each city he visits.
Dies if he visits a city with access to Heroin (Not-so-useful resource).



RBMK Reactor (Not-so-useful UB of the Soviet Union)

Replaces Nuclear Plant.
+1000% chance of meltdown.

 

[Mallin]

Then they break a hole in the ice and swim in there. After this, they get +1 happiness ("Feels good man.") for 6 turns, after which they go back to the sauna.

Feels good? More like being hit by 100 million tiny needles all over you body.

HMS Hood (not so useful battlecruiser)

.UU for thr British Empire.
.+1 in all British cities "We have the most powerful warship!"
.Will make world tours causing +1 or or "They have the most powerful warship!" in every city it visits.
.The next time Britain goes to war the +1 is increased to +3 .
.The country Britain goes to war with will build the Bismarck (which is somewhere else on this thread.)
.After searching for each other the Hood will be destroyed in the ensuing battle.
.The +3 becomes +1 , +1 , +1 for 30 turns.

 

[K.K.]

Norway (not-so-useful civ)
Automatically takes the leader of a neighbouring civ as their leader.

Stavkirke (not-so-useful UB)
UB for the Norwegian civ - replaces Temple.
+1 , +1, +10% .
1%/round chance of burning down.
Cost: 2 forests.

Peasant Draftee (not-so-useful UU)
UU for the Norwegian civ - replaces musketman.
Strength 7.
+100% against Wild Animals.
+50% against melee units.
10% chance of turning into a worker when engaged in combat.
When stacked, 1%/turn chance of killing highest ranked friendly unit in stack.
Cost: -1/round in the city of origin until it gets killed or turns into a worker.

 

[Kark]

Stavkirke (not-so-useful UB)
UB for the Norwegian civ - replaces Temple.

That's Stave church in English.

Black Metal (Not-So-Useful ... eh ... Religion? Corporation? Art form?)

Requires Mass Media and Rock 'n' roll.
Always starts in the Viking civ, but spreads to any city.
+1 in the city.
-1 for each religion present in the city.
+5 % chance each round of a Stave church burning down.

 

[EsaKo]

Feels good? More like being hit by 100 million tiny needles all over you body.

After this, I said, not during!

 

[G_K]

Some "Awesome" units :


Ninja(Japan UU)
Replaces great spy
5 6
Infinity first strikes
Invisible to enemy units
Invisible to neutral units
Invisible to ally units
Invisible to Civiliopedia
Invisible to your civilization

Pirate (unit)
5 1
+100% vs Ninja

T-Rex (barbarian UU)
animal
50 1
Obsolete with the start of the game

Creationism (new technology)
requires: theology
-100% in all cities
You gain 3 free T-Rex units
Obsoletes biology

White Flag (French UB)
requires: Nationalism
replaces monument
+1
-100% defense

Maginot Line (national wonder)
+99 % defense (except vs. enemy units)

4 chan (world wonder)
requires: computers
-100% in all cities
+20 in all cities
Global civic: barbarism
+1 in one random city for 1 turn

Swine Flu cure (world wonder)
-25% in all cities
+100% maintenance from medical corporations
+1 in one random city for 1 turn

Jozef Fritzl's basement (national wonder)
requires: refrigation
+1% population growth
+1


And something more dangerous than nukes...:

Gamebreaker (little, annoying, no-life person)
Replaces leaver
Infinity pause strikes

 

[Mallin]

Some "Awesome" units :

Excelent first post. Reminds me that there was an old thread about wierd and improbable units. I might dig it up since there are a few other old threads that have been resurected lately.

Split (not so useful destroyer)
.UU for Yugoslavia.
.Takes 19 years to complete.
.Obsolete after 22 years.
.+1 for every year it takes to build. "Is it done yet!"

This destroyer was ordered by Yugoslavia from a French shipbuilder in 1939. During WWII the Italians captured the incomplete hull but were unable to finish it before it was recaptured by the French in 1944. It had to be redesigned after the war to incorporate newer equipment but was not launched until 1950 and was not completed until 1958. Split was taken out of service in 1980 and sold to Indonesia.

 

[Silvtown]

Crusade (semi-useful-event)

Crusades can only be started if the Civ has Knights and is running Theocracy.

Any number of Knights (based on the permeation of the Civ's religion) will suddenly form a "pillaging" band and attack the nearest Civ with a different religion. The attacks function like Privateers - the Civ does not have to accept responsibility for the Crusade (save for -1 diplo for each Crusade). The Civ receives half of what is plundered.

The crusading knights will choose to plunder rather than attack a city. There is a rare chance that the knights will try to take a city, in which case they will either throw themselves away or automatically raze the city.

Knights gain +2
Knights gain +2 if attacking a holy city
Knights gain +2 if Civ has Apostolic Palace
Knights gain +2 if Civ has appropriate holy building
Completion of Apostolic Palace triggers automatic first crusade
(Bonuses Stack)

Crusades are ended if all the knights perish or the religious civic is changed out of Theocracy.

Children's Crusade (not-so-useful-event)

With each crusade there is cumulative +20% chance that a Children's crusade will occur, which functions entirely differently:

All knights are "young" and therefore have -25%

The pillaging band goes directly to the nearest water source and then is disbanded as they wait for God to open the body of water for them to cross. Over the course of ten turns the units are "stolen" by other Civs. The crusade event is disabled.

 

[mariogreymist]

Shouldn't a children's crusade also carry the possibility of the game becoming unstuck in time?

 

[cardgame]

2012 - Not So Useful Event

Every city experiences one turn of anarchy as they wait for the world to end.

The next turn, +5 in every city because it didn't actually happen.

 

[Graceheart the Leopard]

Twilight
Not-so-useful Great Work

- Requires Mass Media, Literature
- Can only be built by the Great Artist Stephanie Meyer
- +100 % , in all cities
- +100 % , -2680 with Internet (note: effects will take place if any civ built the Internet, and not just you)