Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

Vegeta (Not-so-useful GP)

-5000 espionage when a rival Civilizations score surpasses 9000 due to scouter destruction
 
Zeitgeist (New Modern where am I screen):
Tells you where you stand in World demographics
-10% :research: for 1 turn while the intellectuals moan over people searching for michael jackson and runescape and facebook.
 
The kid took over your computer (not-so-useful event)

*You now have a city called "ZWDRFHNSPF" on an icy spot without food one square away from the coast of the Arctic Ocean
*Stalin just got Fission !
*There's a Barbarian stack comprising 1 Paratrooper, 3 Machine Guns and 2 Modern Armors next to your Wall Street city (defended by 2 longbows)
*You just DOW'd Monty and Shaka :run:
*Your army now comprises a stack of My Little Pony (TM) not-so-useful units

20% chances that the cat took over the computer
*Crash to desktop. The cat just decided that he's more of a priority in your life than your playing Civ. Scratch his ears and he might finally agree to get off the keyboard.

I shamelessly stole the idea from this thread : http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=345902
Read it, it's hilarious :D
 
Vegeta (Not-so-useful GP)

-5000 espionage when a rival Civilizations score surpasses 9000 due to scouter destruction

Brilliant.

Saiyans (Not-so-useful Civilization)

UU: Saiyan Fighter (Replaces every unit in the game)
Str OVER 9000!!!
Move OVER 9000!!!
Hammer cost: OVER 9000!!!

UB: NONE

Leaderhead: Vegeta (Protective + Aggressive x <9000!!!!)

Special: At any time, every civ loses as the world is destroyed by a cataclysmic battle between good and evil.
 
The Dark Ages (tech, or maybe event)
cost: 1000

Obsoletes colloseum, de-discover music, de-discover *insert bunch of other techs that were lost for a while in the dark ages*, raging barbarians turned on, -100% research for 10 turns, only applies to European civilizations (except for Rome, which transforms into the Byzantine Empire and is spared).
 
National Registry of Historic Places. Every building more than 100 turns old* becomes a museum and starts producing 3 culture. This also happens to every other building that reaches its 100th anniversary. Unfortunately, this also means you need to rebuild all your buildings every 100 turns.

*Normal speed.
 
The Ultimate Conspiracy Theory (Not-so-useful event)
+10 :mad: in all cities because
Every conspiracy theory is a hoax made up by the government as a means to better control the people.
 
Rarter-**** (not-so-Great-Lawyer-that-in-no-way-resembles-a-real-lawyer)

May settle (out of court):
-10:gold: + VAT + disbursement maintenence PER 6 minute unit of time billed... err, settled;
-100% :Culture:
No Great Artists may produce Great Works in this city
No Scientist Specialists may be run/Great Scientists settled in this civilization
May not be run with Free Speech
+3:greatperson: (not-so-great-Lawyer)

May perform one of the following missions:
(1) If any other Civilization uses a Great Artist to produce a Great Work, or a Scientist to bulb a technology, Rarter-**** may issue a defamation writ against that civilisation. This will prevent the great work/bulb taking effect and/or 50% chance of damages. If Iain Hislop (very-Great-Editor) has been born, chance of damages drops to 5%, and Hislop produces a free Great Work (Private Eye Special)

(2) May force all civilisations with Liberalism/Mass Media/Democracy to END free speech AND Representation.

May not be used to produce a Golden Age.
 
Syrup mines (Not so great resource.) Workers who try to improve the resource get stuck and remain imprisoned there for the rest of the game.
 
Time Limit On Listed Threads In Civ Fanatics (Not-So-Useful event)
+10 :( for OP not finding his/hers thread on the list because the last post was dated Dec 22, 2009.
 
Ballista Tank (Not-So-Useful UU)
When attacking units inside of your cultural borders, always attack the Mounted/Gunship unit.

Modern Praetorian (Not Nearly as Useful UU)
Replaces Modern Armor, 42 :strength: rather than 40 :strength:
 
Sarah Palin (not so) Great Prophet
Settle in city to get +10%:commerce:, -50% :science: and -25% :hammers:
or Bulb for instantaneous loss.
or Start Leaden age: every tile that produces at least one :hammers: gets -1:hammers:, any tile that produces at least one :commerce: gets -1:commerce:
 
Random event: ???

Effect: Uninstalls Civ4 from your computer, automatically signs your username on the great online petition "We Don't Want Civ V!!!!", as a result other civ players start verbally (and for those civvers who know you, physically) abusing you for ever and ever, you go cry in a corner.

There, now go cry in a corner. :p
 
Cocaine Corporation (not so useful corporation)

.Requires coca resource.
.Must be founded in a city close to the equator.
.Instead of CEO's it uses drug dealers to spread.
.-5 :hammers:, +8 :yuck:, +6 :ack: & :shake: in all cities its in except for headquarters.
.+20%:gold: in headquarters for every other city it is in. (Gives you a reason to spread it to foreign cities.)
.-3 diplo with foreign nations that it spread to.
.May randomly steal one of your submarine or air units to transport "merchandise".
.Chance of it spliting which will start a drug war (some units may revolt and fight each other) causing widespread destruction throughout any of the cities its in until one side gives up.
+5 :culture: output if Eric Clapton (great artist) is used within its area of influence.
 
Winter Olympic Games (Not-so-useful event)

Can only take place in the northern half of the northern hemisphere or the southern half of the the southern hemisphere (in the following called the Region).

-2 :hammers: in all cities of the Region on the same side of the Earth as the city of the event, because people follows the live broadcasting of the event.
-10 :hammers: in all cities of the Region in time zones where people have to stay up all night to watch live broadcasting of the event.
+2 :) in Canada (if modded in as a civ) because of Ice Hockey and Curling.
+2 :) in the Dutch civ because of Speed Skating.
+2 :) in Austria (if modded in as a civ) because of Ski Jumping.
+5 :mad: in the Viking civ because Ragnar no longer gets the gold medals in almost every event.

+10 :mad: in cities near a mountain peak: Hey, this peak is impassable! We're unable to qualify for the Alpine Skiing events!

The world outside the Region don't give a fraking damn: Cross country skiing? Speed Skating? Bobsleigh? Snowboard? What are you talking about?
 
The world outside the Region don't give a fraking damn: Cross country skiing? Speed Skating? Bobsleigh? Snowboard? What are you talking about?

Exception: Jamaica
 
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