NOTW XVII: The Stealer of Souls (restored)

[Backwards Logic]

The sage looks over at the lord with a funny glance.

"Oh no, I've had plenty a conquest in when I wore a younger man's clothes, or rather, no clothes at various intervals! I've also more than my fair share of drink as well, which led to some rather uhm, inglorious achievements as well. This is why I warn of the dangers. Not only have I heard stories, but I've been the stories as well! Time has taught me many things, of which I hope to pass on to my fellow villagers."

He goes back to his rocking. Ah yes, times have changed...

 

[Sprig]

"I wish we could get along, bloody unfortunate, my horse died."

The Lord looked at everyone gathered and they could tell that clearly he thought them ALL responsible for the rockslide and it landing on his horse.

"I really need a new one if anyone is so kind to lead me theirs?".

---------------

Spoiler :

Fleashed out a little story which was the reasoning for his comments about his horse. I don't think it ruins the original post but if you feel it does i can return it to the original

 

[Frozen In Ice]

"Horse now, horse. Mechanical yes, better than fleshy, mechanical."

Searches for his page of pergament, and looks delighted when he finds it in one of his pockets. And he has many of them. In fact the clothes don't really look like clothes. The engineer looks more like a walking toolrack than a dwarf. Weird trinkets and tools are hanging from dozens of pockets. His leather vest is worn and patched from various places and is held together by hastily crafted iron rings. Whenever he moves the tools and trinkets clatter aginst each other.

"You see the power source, you. Yes genious, yes. Boiling water!"

Swiftly picks the pen off his ear and taps it's tip on the pergament until he accidentally pokes a hole in the page.

"Hole yes, hole. Heee hee. Now where was I, now? Beer, hole, horse no, beer."

Scribbles something resembling a horse on the page.

"No legs, inefficient, complex, no."

 

[Sprig]

The Lord Looks at the little dwarf running around muttering to himself with all his tools clinking with each step.

"Oi! Little man, I got a bloody hangover so please don't walk so loudly."


----------

Spoiler :

I'm Gussing, Love meant Talk instead of 'Walk'
But both make sense so i will keep the original

`

 

[Catharsis]

The conjurer is a little man with a big hat. Seriously, we're talking one enormous hat. He seems quite proud of it, too, swaggering along like a New York City pimp (whatever that is). His assured strutting, however, is disturbed by the appearance of a white rabbit from underneath the hat. He swipes at it, but it has already retreated into the adornment on the brim. The conjurer stops, flustered, and curses.

Fie on't! You, rabbit, are twisting my screwdriver! If you try that again I'll thrash you backwards through a month of Mondays, do you hear?

...

Ugh. I am lop-twazzled. Pass me an Illian-cool one, please, innkeeper, and make sure not to raise the flag at half-nelson. Three of hearts.

 

[Sprig]

There is so many bloody little men around here!"

"Anyway i still want a drink of some wine."

"All right, Giggity giggity"

-----------

Spoiler :

I figure by this point Love is having a grand old time, stoned and drunk, watching family guy re-runs.

 

[Winston Hughes]

*The Jester some how appears behind Backwards Logic, taps him on the shoulder, ducks, taps the other shoulder, and repeats. Eventually the old man ignores him and the Jester jumps in front and grabs the poor man's nose*

Tell oh man of many years,
Why you head to the Jack of Tears?
When you refuse the finest beers,
And no longer seek to dock in young ladies' piers.

 

[Backwards Logic]

The old man shrugs. He takes a deep breath and says,

"There once was this foolish jester
who only could annoy and pester
But if you want me to regale
I'll tell you the tale
of a guy who couldn't keep his **** sequestered.

He one day went to the tavern to score
Met the old hag who looked like a boar
Because he was drunk
He got in her trunk
And now has to pay child support.

So I'm sorry if I do not comply
with getting drunk and unzipping my fly
I'd rather not shell out the dough
For some tramp I don't know
Because I already once was that guy!"

 

[Sprig]

The lord sayed:



Giggity giggity

 

[thomas.berubeg]

Though no one has noticed him yet, the orc shaman sits in the middle of the village, muttering to himself. He twitches once, and, still muttering, gets up and shambles over to the animated conversation, lookng the perfect lovable eccentric (as much as an orc, even and old orc, can look "lovable," or even eccentric). It's all an act of course. One doesn't become a shaman to Bhall if one is mentally deficeint, and Senile Shamans usually loose thier place to spry, young orcs.
"Fiddles-Sticks! NYC Pimp!" He shouts to the conjuerer, as he prestly removes some of the wealth from the lord's pockets.
Satisfied and mumbling again, he goes back to sit down.

 

[Sprig]

The lord put on his dressing gown with the hippus rearing steed mark on it.

"What a bloody mess" he says and goes and sleep.

 

[Winston Hughes]

*The Jester mimes being hurt, then bows respectfully to the sage*

Touche, my fine friend.
While that story had an unfortunate end,
It failed to answer what I asked, but this you can mend.
Why to Revelry where morals bend?

 

[Icekommander]

Sooo.... we're trapped, eh? Some vicious beast. Eh. We can handle 'em. Compared to the dangers of the wilderness, a few enemies is nothing. In the wilderness, yer never safe. Anything can kill you, any time. WATCH THAT PLANT!



The Hunter leaps and knocks the Jester away from the tree behind him.



Eh? Oh sorry, coulda sworn that tree was a Zhak'stri cruncher. Vicious. Where was I...



I've tracked beasts down for decades, I figure I can handle these... whatever. Pity ol' Slicer en't here. Heh. I saw him take down five beasts that that ambushed him before we figgered out what they was. He were here, he'd have us some sliced killers tomorrow morning. Pity he stayed half an hour too late in the river last year... The fish got him.

 

[thomas.berubeg]

Killers? Killers! Hahahahahaha! Bhall'll take care of them! mumble mumble mumble Ha!

Hehehehe i remember your slicer... haha... he cried loud and strong when we sliced him up for Bhall. HAH! hehehehe...

Ah those were the good days... his liver was pretty damn good, too...

He was shrieking the whole time... "you can't do that to me, i'm slicer!"

Heheehehehe...

Mumble mumble mumble

 

[Pinman]

Humming Happily, the Innkeeper glances around his now full tavern and starts to mingle with the guests.

He first looks at the eccentric Conjurer for a second but decides that there are some things he is better off not knowing. Remembering that the man asked for a drink he says: "Aye, Here you are mate. A cool one to help jittery nerves. Between you and me I think you could use one."

The Innkeeper then points at the Jester who is still running around acting and composing atrocious poetry.

"Oh and you Jester. I reckon that you've had one too many my friend. You'd better lie down before you make a fool of yourself.", he remarks.

Curious, the Innkeeper takes a look at the Orc Shaman but quickly looks away again because despite missing the revelry, he still enjoys life and reckons that his chances of survival would be better if he stays away from the sure madman.

Finally The Innkeeper glances around again.

"Arr Mateys. There don't happen to be any ladies present eh? I'd give any of them as many drinks as they want. On the house!

 

[thomas.berubeg]

"Haha! women around here? don't count on it... no such luck..".the orc leers

"unless you mean them" he points at the two elves

he wanders off, mumbling, to find the shade of a tree to protect him from the harsh rays of lugus. effin fairies...

He turns around before sitting down and yells at the two elves "You look Like Women! You look like women! heeheeHeeheehee!"

 

[Winston Hughes]

*The Jester stops at hearing Pinman speak. He then breaks out laughing.*

A Fool making a fool of himself?
There's a joke that hasn't been taken off the shelf.
And you I believe I can take a tree, dear elf.
On the topic of dangers I hope none are seeking to acquire pelf.

 

[Backwards Logic]

The old sage smiles, and prepares his response:

Once I reached an age past my youth
I looked in the mirror to see an uncouth
There could be no denial
of all of the things I've done vile
- the sad and lonely truth.

So I committed my life to seek a higher being
To give myself some sort of meaning
Devoting my life to peace
gave me a new lease
on the wiser me I am seeing

So why have I transformed, enlightened and changed?
Why has it seemed I've turned a page?
I look into my soul
and see a grassy knoll
Instead of something deranged.

While you may look on me with a bit of scorn,
For giving up the things that made me deformed
All my past experiences
Have taught me perseverance
For now I feel reborn.

So I ask you now, master of ruse
Has your question been thoroughly perused?
I now feel safe and very
protected in my spiritual sanctuary
No longer am I confused.

 

[Stuck in Pi]

trapped? Bah, I'll make short work of whatever attacks us. And no to the drink bartender, I, like the sage, prefer to be sober.

 

[Winston Hughes]

*The Jester once again tips his hat to the sage, balls jingling*

Fair enough, I question the logic not the why.
To tell the truth I go not for pleasures and to watch things fly,
But to practice my art on those looking for a high,
And maybe to be in front of the Jester that will not die.