Sosasoser, you are absolutely 100% right. I need to beat on people sooner. I am playing as Churchill and I combined advice from several people. I optimized my starting turns and got out 9 cities all near each other and placed near good resources. I have lead with the high score for the entire game (current as of modern age) and have the most powerful and advanced army in the game.
Then there are two problems. The first is that I turtled like a madman again, not even leaving my own borders. Not to attack, not to scout, nothing. I just sat in my cities and built an army worthy of Mordor. The second problem is that I attracted the attention of every foreign spy in the vicinity once again. Even with one or sometimes two spies in every city as well as intelligence agencies, courthouses and jails I was losing buildings, improvements and getting poisoned badly by enemy saboteurs.
This is the biggest deterrent for me, mainly not being able to see or fight the enemy in this regard. Is there anything else whatsoever I can do to stop sabotage? But anyway, I managed to shrug off most of the poisonings ( I can hear Churchill saying "We will defend our island, whatever the cost may be...") and managed to make enough gold to keep most of my fighting forces cutting edge. But the biggest thing I need to work on now is knowing who to buddy up to and who to hold at a distance.
Right now I usually just allow pleased or friendly nations into my borders, is that all right? I need ideas on how to improve my diplomacy. I almost always snort in disgust at the ridiculous trade offers I am presented with and just deny whatever they want. I am not sure if that makes them sabotage you, but I am sure it doesn't make them happy.
Whew, sorry for the huge post. I guess I am just feeling good with my improving skills, and excited to learn even more. If I can get some help with diplomacy and alliances that would be great. I guess I dislike being a warmonger because I like to stretch out games and take my time so I don't plow through it too quick. But I need to strike the right balance, because I am sitting on huge armies that are almost never used except in defense. Thanks again.