Playing the Traits series.
- Thread starter CivCorpse
- Start date
huerfanista
Emperor
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2006
- Messages
- 1,276
goldenhero
Warlord
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2007
- Messages
- 171
I look forward to it! I'm excited to see how this round plays out
Lucky Charms
The Contender
I've been reading this thread with interest and rest assured CivCorpse, there are others that are intrigued by this thread, just not posting. 
Norvin_Green
Emperor
yes, please don't stop. you are hilarious!!
I'm watching this threadI'm watching too.
You've already played the round so it's too late, but I often slowly build up a stack as a war is going to take out cities like Durigua (I think I read that right: the one to the SW). I will generally send a couple maces and a single /cat to slowly take out down the culture, and then send every second or third newly built unit down until I can take it down. If the odds are good (i.e. 75%+), I will occasionally just kill it slowly by killing one or two at a time, but keeping one or two of my units on defense.
This allows me to have a bigger stack for the main attacking force.
You've already played the round so it's too late, but I often slowly build up a stack as a war is going to take out cities like Durigua (I think I read that right: the one to the SW). I will generally send a couple maces and a single /cat to slowly take out down the culture, and then send every second or third newly built unit down until I can take it down. If the odds are good (i.e. 75%+), I will occasionally just kill it slowly by killing one or two at a time, but keeping one or two of my units on defense.
This allows me to have a bigger stack for the main attacking force.
Brammimond
Chieftain
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2008
- Messages
- 11
Same here...
(Watching)
Muse - Butterflies and Hurricanes
(Watching)
Muse - Butterflies and Hurricanes
ROMEancing the STONE ACT4PARTB because a thunderstrorm flickered the power and I lost the write up, but luckily I had all my screen shots saved
ME: Attend Me Brutus, attend Me Sgt. Pepper. Advise Us on the progress as we prepare for war.
Sgt. Pepper: All goes well Your Most Militariness. I have erected a Heroic Epic and all surge to Madrid to join the cause.
ME: And of the Pratorians?
Sgt. Pepper:Of course Sire. Though there was a tad bit of a problem with the gladius. We ended up with a stick with a chain and a spiked ball.
ME: But they are Pratorians?
Sgt. Oh Yes. But to confuse the enemy we have given them the code name "Macemen"
ME: We are pleased. Not as pleased as We would be if you were not full of B.S. mind you. But given the limited thought capacity of my people I am going to take what I can get.
During this exchange, Brutus has been standing quietly with a glowing smile upon his face. He has accomplished something. This scares Me. But as the Kind and Just ruler of the land, I am compelled to ask. Let it be noted that there are many degrees of "kind" and "just", I'm just sayin.
ME: Brutus, have you done as i asked and trained those to defend our people in the upcoming wars?
Brutus. Oh Yeth Thire. They thall be thafe in their hometh.
ME: How many Longbow men have you trained so far?
Brutus: Longbowmen? Why none Thire. I have trained a mithonary. The strength of God thall protect out peopleth.
ME: I feel pain. Great pain.
Brutus: Art thou in need of a doctor. Perhapth a vithit from a mithonary. It ith part of hith pothithon. Are you familiar witht the Mithonary pothithon?
ME: I have not been familiar with the missionary position since I stabbed Izzy in the back. OK< wait for it people, it will be funny.)
URGENT NEWS FLASH
Oh those dirty bums. I am so freakin pissed. Do you remember my grand plan with the tthree pronged attack? Strike teams and I even drew a map. With red arrows and everything. WTF were my people thinking? I mean is security in Madrid and SEC so great that no news of the impending war leaked out? OK, so Wonka wants to be Maya now do they? Fine. They can be Mayan until I stuff the spikey ball from a Pratorian (codename:maceman) right into their cavity filled mouth. OHHHHHHH I am so irritated. OK, this changes EVERYTHING. Bring me my brightest minds. Such that they are. Send for Alberto and Fat Betty.
Alberto: I am here Your Thoughtliness
ME: Where is the chunky broad?
Alberto: Don't you remember whipping a settler a few hundred years ago?
ME: So? I whip people all the time. What does that have to do with fat Betty?
Alberto: She was a whipee Sire. She went off and helped found "Fat Bettitown"
ME: I don't recall instructing anyone to name a city "Fat Bettitown"
Alberto: She was still a bit bitter about not getting paid and the whole "whipping" thing.
ME: OK, what are you working on?
Alberto: Well, shortly after Wonka defected we perfected the gladius. Now we are devising a system of craftsmen working together.
ME: And this makes them more efficient?
Alberto: Not exactly, but they get paid more
OK, at this point I was just clicking military techs on the research tree. I was extraordinarily pissed at the whole WONKA situation. So i set SEC and Madrid to cranking out cats and LB's and when engineering was complete a 1/2 dozen pikes. I planned to go in with spies to drop defenses and cats for a little softening up. The three prong plan went straight out the window. I was going to smash into his three core cities and kick his pot smoking butt. So without further conversation...we attacked. I didn't even bother calling him up. I just rolled across the borders.
a few turns to heal then they rolled up to Pacal's house in Mutal.
ME: knock knock, Pacal?
Pacal: Dude, you so suck. I thought we were BFF. You are so out of the band.
ME: Should have thought of that before you culture bombed me you shirtless pothead freak.
Pacal: well if you just came over to call me names, i don't want to talk to you anymore.
ME: Ummm, to be honest I came over to take Mutal away from you. I just wanted to know if I could have my CD back.
Pacal: Brutus isn't here.
ME: I meant my Crytsal Method CD (note the narrator really likes to listen to CM when he is at war in Civ)
ME: But if you don't have it, I might as well just....
Alberto: Siiiiiire, We've done it. It took a lot of late nights but we finally figured it out.
ME: Laughing most wickedly. Pacal, you're history. My brilliant minds have unraveled the secrets of magic exploding powder. Soon my Pratorians will have tube shooting balls of lead at your misshapen head.
Alberto: We decided not to look into the magic powder stuff.
ME: "We"? We don't recall making that decision. And We are the only We that counts.
Alberto: Yes, Your Most sSelfabsorbedness. But with banking we shall have a safe place to keep our gold. Gold is so wonderful.
ME: Banks? you invented freaking banks in the middle of a war? We don't need banks. We discovered pottery years ago. Cookie jars are the time honored way of the Romandian peoples for storing gold. Now go discover the secrets of exploding magic dust or the next city is going to be named "GreedyAlbertotown". If you get my jist...whip whip mean anything to you.
Ok, admitedly I clicked banking not Alberto. But I am the one at the keyboard and he is not. As a matter of fact GreedyAlbertotown is very much in my plans. But back to the war.
Pacal: you have like 5-6 scrawny catapults and i have walls and culture and Chicken Itza. I am soooo not skeered.
ME: Do you hear that? Evidently your people are not happy and are rioting in the streets. And you forgot to latch the screen dorr in the back of the city.
Pacal: Oh poopies!!!!
Our clever spy unlatching the screen door
And in through the kitchen roared the Valiant Pratorians of Romindia
ME: Sgt. PeppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeR. WTF are these guys with the strange bows?
Sgt. Pepper. Those are crossbows Sire. I advised you to train some but you said that the "magic exploding powder" was better.
ME: By chance did Brutus train some against my wishes? He tends to go his own way. in more ways than one.
Brutus: No thire, I have been teaching men to ride horthieth.
ME: What possible use are men on "horthies" to me in a war?
Brutus: Oh thire, You thould thee them galloping acroth the fieldth on their wonderful thtallions. Brilliant plumeth upon their helmth blowing in the breeth. And I have made the motht thplendind gownth for the horthieth.
ME: but can they fight?
Brutus: Oh and how Thire. Each man ith a thrapping young thtud, in hith prime. I perthonally trained them each evening after poetry hour. Tho I call them my "Flowery Nightth"
ME: ok, lose the flowers and send them in to kill those dang crossbows.
The knights did battle but they ended up fighting longbows. So i sent more macemen in. Things were going better then the devil worshipping heathens started using MAGIC. If i had my own magic i would be ok. But that stupid Alberto wouldn't do what i wanted. instead he did what I told him to.
But magic or no magic, we prevailed. And Mutal is ours. It will be getting a Great Spy plopped down. Or maybe I will use him to infiltrate the other continent. But on with the war. Next stop on the Beat Pacal Bloody Tour is Uxmal. So we healed up and started mar....
Brutus: Thiiiiiire. the most fantathtic thing hath happened. I have been giving thpecial private "tuturing" to on of my more hanthom, I mean more talented men and he it ready to path on that knowledge to otherth.
Sgt. Pepper: A word in private, if You will Your Most Tacticalness.
Me: But of course. but make it snappy because as soon as the wounded are healed I want them to get rewounded. makes a man out of them. Builds character and all that nonsense.
Over in a quiet corner.
Sgt. Pepper: Sire, I fear that if this new man starts "training" others in SEC then He and Brutus may spread more of their little fetishes, if you know what I mean.
Me: You mean have him join us here and become a great warrior, leading men into battle. It sounds like we are risking losing his knowledge, he could be killed you know.
Sgt: That is what I was sort of hoping for.
ME: I share your concern over his personal life, but I need that knowledge. I shall put him in charge of medical affairs and have him help heal the sick and wounded.
NOW, back to the war. another spy and another screen door in Uxmal. Note I am running low on cats and Uxmal is on a hill so this may be the last city I take this war. No losses and pikes are pretty good against HA's
Our errant knight found a couple of Mayan's that were trying to hide in the hills.
Errant Knight: Hold thee in thy place.
Mayan worker#1: Yippa nood fungo splod!!!!!!
Errant Knight: Speak not in the tongue of the devil.
Mayan worker #2: Him no got gud werds. me be have sum gud werd lyke Rumyn peepuls uz.
Errant Knight: Dost thee repent thine heathen ways and seek to walk in the light of Confusion
Mayan worker #1: Chippee chippee suggy foop
Mayan worker #2: oh miteewun, we gud confused peoples
Errant Knight: the mighty Romandian empire welcomes Thee. May the fruits of thine labor give growth to the glory of Rome.
Since my two catapults didn't die I decided for one more city. I sent a spy ahead and started marching to some little coastal town that was applying cultural pressure from the east. So away we wnet. then the Mayans started using their foul magic gain. But it was no use. The Mighty Romindian War machine rolled over them. And we captured Chichen itza. Am i having some sort of strange Deja Vu? Or isn't chichen itza back in Uxmal where we just conquered? Anyway now i have 2 of them. But i have no more cats for collateral damage so the war needs to end. And WW is really getting bad.
Well as the war ends we meet these two ruffians
and now it is time for peace with pacal.
Brutus: Thire Thire Thire, wait your Motht Dathingneth. I have another thurprith for you.
Me: Make it quick I have WW out the butt and now I have these other two yokels to deal with.
Brutus: Then behold the power of the Flowery Nighth.
Oh I am pleased. So very very Pleased with Brutus. i had forgotten about that dang culture bomb city that ruined my plans. But Brutus did not. Rump Ranger he may be, but there is a reason he is a Great General. And culture bomb city has 4 pretty expensive buildings in it. It is still under enourmous cultural pressure from Wonka. But I plan to regroup and take the last of his cities soon. But I need to stop the war so I can assess my strat regarding Charlemagne and Manmusa
So i call up pacal in whereever his capital is these days
Pacal: Pacal residence, Pacal speaking
ME: PacMan, Have you learned your lesson?
Pacal: Oh definately. I realise now that stealing wonka was wrong. So i am going to give it back, and a map, and all my gold, and my allowance for ten turns. As a matter of fact would you be so kind as to take me under your wing as your vassal?
ME: do you promise to stop trying to take my cities with culture?
Pacal: Oh sure ummm, anything you say.
ME: And promise not to settle any new cities in land I want because I can't take them away?
Pacal: but I need more cities.
ME: No dice on the vassal business. but give me theology and drama, 110 bucks for gas money and we'll be friends again
Pacal:And if I say No?
ME: Did I mention another GG was born in another city when we took culture bomb city?
Pacal: No, so i guess I'll take the deal
OK, that is it for this round. Hope you enjoyed it. i held off on introducing the new AI as characters so i have a starting point for next round. As always comments or advice are welcome.
ME: Attend Me Brutus, attend Me Sgt. Pepper. Advise Us on the progress as we prepare for war.
Sgt. Pepper: All goes well Your Most Militariness. I have erected a Heroic Epic and all surge to Madrid to join the cause.
ME: And of the Pratorians?
Sgt. Pepper:Of course Sire. Though there was a tad bit of a problem with the gladius. We ended up with a stick with a chain and a spiked ball.
ME: But they are Pratorians?
Sgt. Oh Yes. But to confuse the enemy we have given them the code name "Macemen"
ME: We are pleased. Not as pleased as We would be if you were not full of B.S. mind you. But given the limited thought capacity of my people I am going to take what I can get.
During this exchange, Brutus has been standing quietly with a glowing smile upon his face. He has accomplished something. This scares Me. But as the Kind and Just ruler of the land, I am compelled to ask. Let it be noted that there are many degrees of "kind" and "just", I'm just sayin.
ME: Brutus, have you done as i asked and trained those to defend our people in the upcoming wars?
Brutus. Oh Yeth Thire. They thall be thafe in their hometh.
ME: How many Longbow men have you trained so far?
Brutus: Longbowmen? Why none Thire. I have trained a mithonary. The strength of God thall protect out peopleth.
ME: I feel pain. Great pain.
Brutus: Art thou in need of a doctor. Perhapth a vithit from a mithonary. It ith part of hith pothithon. Are you familiar witht the Mithonary pothithon?
ME: I have not been familiar with the missionary position since I stabbed Izzy in the back. OK< wait for it people, it will be funny.)
URGENT NEWS FLASH
Oh those dirty bums. I am so freakin pissed. Do you remember my grand plan with the tthree pronged attack? Strike teams and I even drew a map. With red arrows and everything. WTF were my people thinking? I mean is security in Madrid and SEC so great that no news of the impending war leaked out? OK, so Wonka wants to be Maya now do they? Fine. They can be Mayan until I stuff the spikey ball from a Pratorian (codename:maceman) right into their cavity filled mouth. OHHHHHHH I am so irritated. OK, this changes EVERYTHING. Bring me my brightest minds. Such that they are. Send for Alberto and Fat Betty.
Alberto: I am here Your Thoughtliness
ME: Where is the chunky broad?
Alberto: Don't you remember whipping a settler a few hundred years ago?
ME: So? I whip people all the time. What does that have to do with fat Betty?
Alberto: She was a whipee Sire. She went off and helped found "Fat Bettitown"
ME: I don't recall instructing anyone to name a city "Fat Bettitown"
Alberto: She was still a bit bitter about not getting paid and the whole "whipping" thing.
ME: OK, what are you working on?
Alberto: Well, shortly after Wonka defected we perfected the gladius. Now we are devising a system of craftsmen working together.
ME: And this makes them more efficient?
Alberto: Not exactly, but they get paid more
OK, at this point I was just clicking military techs on the research tree. I was extraordinarily pissed at the whole WONKA situation. So i set SEC and Madrid to cranking out cats and LB's and when engineering was complete a 1/2 dozen pikes. I planned to go in with spies to drop defenses and cats for a little softening up. The three prong plan went straight out the window. I was going to smash into his three core cities and kick his pot smoking butt. So without further conversation...we attacked. I didn't even bother calling him up. I just rolled across the borders.
a few turns to heal then they rolled up to Pacal's house in Mutal.
ME: knock knock, Pacal?
Pacal: Dude, you so suck. I thought we were BFF. You are so out of the band.
ME: Should have thought of that before you culture bombed me you shirtless pothead freak.
Pacal: well if you just came over to call me names, i don't want to talk to you anymore.
ME: Ummm, to be honest I came over to take Mutal away from you. I just wanted to know if I could have my CD back.
Pacal: Brutus isn't here.
ME: I meant my Crytsal Method CD (note the narrator really likes to listen to CM when he is at war in Civ)
ME: But if you don't have it, I might as well just....
Alberto: Siiiiiire, We've done it. It took a lot of late nights but we finally figured it out.
ME: Laughing most wickedly. Pacal, you're history. My brilliant minds have unraveled the secrets of magic exploding powder. Soon my Pratorians will have tube shooting balls of lead at your misshapen head.
Alberto: We decided not to look into the magic powder stuff.
ME: "We"? We don't recall making that decision. And We are the only We that counts.
Alberto: Yes, Your Most sSelfabsorbedness. But with banking we shall have a safe place to keep our gold. Gold is so wonderful.
ME: Banks? you invented freaking banks in the middle of a war? We don't need banks. We discovered pottery years ago. Cookie jars are the time honored way of the Romandian peoples for storing gold. Now go discover the secrets of exploding magic dust or the next city is going to be named "GreedyAlbertotown". If you get my jist...whip whip mean anything to you.
Ok, admitedly I clicked banking not Alberto. But I am the one at the keyboard and he is not. As a matter of fact GreedyAlbertotown is very much in my plans. But back to the war.
Pacal: you have like 5-6 scrawny catapults and i have walls and culture and Chicken Itza. I am soooo not skeered.
ME: Do you hear that? Evidently your people are not happy and are rioting in the streets. And you forgot to latch the screen dorr in the back of the city.
Pacal: Oh poopies!!!!
Our clever spy unlatching the screen door
And in through the kitchen roared the Valiant Pratorians of Romindia
ME: Sgt. PeppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeR. WTF are these guys with the strange bows?
Sgt. Pepper. Those are crossbows Sire. I advised you to train some but you said that the "magic exploding powder" was better.
ME: By chance did Brutus train some against my wishes? He tends to go his own way. in more ways than one.
Brutus: No thire, I have been teaching men to ride horthieth.
ME: What possible use are men on "horthies" to me in a war?
Brutus: Oh thire, You thould thee them galloping acroth the fieldth on their wonderful thtallions. Brilliant plumeth upon their helmth blowing in the breeth. And I have made the motht thplendind gownth for the horthieth.
ME: but can they fight?
Brutus: Oh and how Thire. Each man ith a thrapping young thtud, in hith prime. I perthonally trained them each evening after poetry hour. Tho I call them my "Flowery Nightth"
ME: ok, lose the flowers and send them in to kill those dang crossbows.
The knights did battle but they ended up fighting longbows. So i sent more macemen in. Things were going better then the devil worshipping heathens started using MAGIC. If i had my own magic i would be ok. But that stupid Alberto wouldn't do what i wanted. instead he did what I told him to.
But magic or no magic, we prevailed. And Mutal is ours. It will be getting a Great Spy plopped down. Or maybe I will use him to infiltrate the other continent. But on with the war. Next stop on the Beat Pacal Bloody Tour is Uxmal. So we healed up and started mar....
Brutus: Thiiiiiire. the most fantathtic thing hath happened. I have been giving thpecial private "tuturing" to on of my more hanthom, I mean more talented men and he it ready to path on that knowledge to otherth.
Sgt. Pepper: A word in private, if You will Your Most Tacticalness.
Me: But of course. but make it snappy because as soon as the wounded are healed I want them to get rewounded. makes a man out of them. Builds character and all that nonsense.
Over in a quiet corner.
Sgt. Pepper: Sire, I fear that if this new man starts "training" others in SEC then He and Brutus may spread more of their little fetishes, if you know what I mean.
Me: You mean have him join us here and become a great warrior, leading men into battle. It sounds like we are risking losing his knowledge, he could be killed you know.
Sgt: That is what I was sort of hoping for.
ME: I share your concern over his personal life, but I need that knowledge. I shall put him in charge of medical affairs and have him help heal the sick and wounded.
NOW, back to the war. another spy and another screen door in Uxmal. Note I am running low on cats and Uxmal is on a hill so this may be the last city I take this war. No losses and pikes are pretty good against HA's
Our errant knight found a couple of Mayan's that were trying to hide in the hills.
Errant Knight: Hold thee in thy place.
Mayan worker#1: Yippa nood fungo splod!!!!!!
Errant Knight: Speak not in the tongue of the devil.
Mayan worker #2: Him no got gud werds. me be have sum gud werd lyke Rumyn peepuls uz.
Errant Knight: Dost thee repent thine heathen ways and seek to walk in the light of Confusion
Mayan worker #1: Chippee chippee suggy foop
Mayan worker #2: oh miteewun, we gud confused peoples
Errant Knight: the mighty Romandian empire welcomes Thee. May the fruits of thine labor give growth to the glory of Rome.
Since my two catapults didn't die I decided for one more city. I sent a spy ahead and started marching to some little coastal town that was applying cultural pressure from the east. So away we wnet. then the Mayans started using their foul magic gain. But it was no use. The Mighty Romindian War machine rolled over them. And we captured Chichen itza. Am i having some sort of strange Deja Vu? Or isn't chichen itza back in Uxmal where we just conquered? Anyway now i have 2 of them. But i have no more cats for collateral damage so the war needs to end. And WW is really getting bad.
Well as the war ends we meet these two ruffians
and now it is time for peace with pacal.
Brutus: Thire Thire Thire, wait your Motht Dathingneth. I have another thurprith for you.
Me: Make it quick I have WW out the butt and now I have these other two yokels to deal with.
Brutus: Then behold the power of the Flowery Nighth.
Oh I am pleased. So very very Pleased with Brutus. i had forgotten about that dang culture bomb city that ruined my plans. But Brutus did not. Rump Ranger he may be, but there is a reason he is a Great General. And culture bomb city has 4 pretty expensive buildings in it. It is still under enourmous cultural pressure from Wonka. But I plan to regroup and take the last of his cities soon. But I need to stop the war so I can assess my strat regarding Charlemagne and Manmusa
So i call up pacal in whereever his capital is these days
Pacal: Pacal residence, Pacal speaking
ME: PacMan, Have you learned your lesson?
Pacal: Oh definately. I realise now that stealing wonka was wrong. So i am going to give it back, and a map, and all my gold, and my allowance for ten turns. As a matter of fact would you be so kind as to take me under your wing as your vassal?
ME: do you promise to stop trying to take my cities with culture?
Pacal: Oh sure ummm, anything you say.
ME: And promise not to settle any new cities in land I want because I can't take them away?
Pacal: but I need more cities.
ME: No dice on the vassal business. but give me theology and drama, 110 bucks for gas money and we'll be friends again
Pacal:And if I say No?
ME: Did I mention another GG was born in another city when we took culture bomb city?
Pacal: No, so i guess I'll take the deal
OK, that is it for this round. Hope you enjoyed it. i held off on introducing the new AI as characters so i have a starting point for next round. As always comments or advice are welcome.
Diamondeye
So Happy I Could Die
Enjoyed it alot 
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