Hosting Iron Pen in A&E
- Mar 3, 2005
- Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
The thing about online obituaries is that not everyone has them. I refused to publish one for my father, even though both the nursing home and funeral home were relentless in offering to "help" me. They wouldn't shut up even after I pointed out that I was the only family member left and his only two friends still alive had been told years ago about his condition and that he did not remember them. So what would be the point? They kept pushing, saying it would be a "nice memento" for me, and couldn't understand when I kept saying no.Few thoughts:
- Yes, the internet has a bunch of trolls and bots who could hack one of our forum accounts and post trash from them. Deactivating accounts where we've learned (through other humans) that the owner has died would help prevent that.
- Of the options discussed, updating the profile page of the account seems least intrusive to me. If I PM someone, and don't get a response, looking at their profile would be one of the first things I do. More of a "pull" notification than a "push."
- An interesting thought about how the site staff would learn this: user A and user B are friends in real life. When user A learns that user B is ill, or dying, that person could opt to notify the staff. I don't think that CivFanatics has a bot or tool to visit online obituaries to learn about this. It's really about personal connections. I appreciate that y'all are giving thoughtful consideration to this, including taking into account cultural differences... USA vs. UK vs. Germany or India or Poland or other countries
Online obituaries have become sources for identity theft and unscrupulous ad companies and "memorial" businesses to cash in on the grief of the deceased person's family and friends and acquaintances. So unless an obituary is affiliated with a real newspaper, take it with a truckload of sodium chloride.