there are 2 major cases when I'd be totally ok with that are not traditional leader leader
1. Symbolic leaders a la Gandhi, one of the first name you'd come up with when talking about the civ.
2. There are no other choices for leader (usually because little record of the civ) but the civ is so cool/important/interesting to add. Mythological leaders fall here.
Yeah I think Gorgo is probably the one example where I found an inclusion to be somewhat forced, even if one realizes that Spartan women held a great deal of influence for their time.
I think the worst leader choice was Joan of Arc in Civ 3. And I think Gandhi would be the second worst leader choice.
I am okay with (or like) most of the leader choices (of which the female choices seem to be the most controversial).
Wilhelmina, Cleopatra, Hatshepsut, Victoria, Elizabeth, Maria Theresa, Dido, Catherine, and Isabella were all important and powerful historical figures (well except for Dido's mythological roots) who are quintessential representations of their civilizations.
The next category are important and successful historical figures who are often overlooked (often because people don't know much about that civilization's history) but Civ does a good job shining the spotlight on them. I would put Tamar, Gitarja, Seondeok, Amanitore, and Jadwiga. Maybe Tomyris since there is scant historical information about the Scythians.
There is a category of rulers who are interesting historically but weren't considered that "successful" and some people feel are questionable choices to represent their civilization. Like Kristina, Boudicca, Wu Zetian, and Maria of Portugal. I actually didn't mind any of these non-traditional choices because they provide a fresh perspective on history. (While Hannibal as a general would be in the top tier of generals as a political leader he had only a minimal impact. Gajah Mada was a prime minister, though I think Gitarja is a better choice.)
They you have Ruler Consorts and behind the scene players. I actually think Catherine de Medici is a good choice since she ruled as Queen Consort and Regent. Theodora was Empress Consort but she actually ruled and had significant influence (not the least of which included convincing Emperor Justinian to stay and fight off the Nika revolt and her contributions to the East Roman Golden Age). Gorgo seems to be a weaker choice and it feels like she was partly included because of her portrayal in the 300 movie.
I'd actually put Gandhi in the next category. (So yeah, I think Catherine and Theodora are better choices than Gandhi).
And Joan of Arc as absolute worst. She was a blip in the historical radar, didn't come close to ruling, and in fact was manipulated, used, and discarded by the actual French ruler at the time.