CELTICEMPIRE
Zulu Conqueror
Long live the Nerdian Empire!!!
Save the Mongols
- Thread starter tR1cKy
- Start date
tR1cKy
taking over the world
The Nerd Empire will live forever and, in a time not too far from now, take over the whole world and possibly the heavens
After the takeover of Arbela, Persian harassers keep trying to bring chaos to the Nerd territory, and are dutifully repulsed with the help of some cannons. In one of those fights, another leader is generated:
Although there are no wonders to build, the leader can be spent to have immediately a university in Damascus, in order too speed up the much needed tech of Military Tradition:
While our military keep healing and reinforcing at the front, the pesky Persians keep buying allies, and this time it hurts:
But our great empire is unmoved in its goal, and in 680 AD Military Tradition is finally researched. Alas, this time it wasn't the right pick, as Spain completed it in the same turn as us. If we had chosen Physics, now we could have both, but it was imperative to have cavalries ASAP.
Wisely, we've kept a nice sum of gold in our coffers, and so the vast majority of the knights could be upgraded on the spot.
Before the main action takes place, it's time for one of our old heroes to walk the stage once again. An enemy cavalry who ventured on our lands is shelled to redline by cannons and then Lazyass delivers the final blow, getting elite promotion too!
It is worth noticing that the units named Lazyass and Turd started their life as the very first regular warriors to be produced by the Nerds in a time in which their home island wasn't fully settled yet. Over the course of the centuries, those two apparent dropouts won battle after battle until they both climbed to elite medieval infantry status. Turd also spawned a leader during the final battle against the former Celtic nation.
But now, it is time for our shining new cavalry to call the show. With the added bonus movement a direct attack on Persepolis can be launched, and in 690 AD the big prize is finally ours:
With the capture of Persepolis, a major blow has been delivered to the evil Persians, but their strength is far from being gone, and their uncanny ability to buy allies can still cause problems. But with cavalries we've just gained a 50% increase in both strength and mobility, and now a military victory against Persia does not seem an utopistic dream anymore.
To the civic front, the reintegration of Arabic and Celtic workers into our citizenry is almost complete. Many Ottomans are still used as a slave labor, but they will soon find a new home in some depopulated Persian cities. About the native Persian populace, they will pay the price of the sorry decisions of their leader with a lifetime of slavery.
Coming soon: an update of the population count at present day, without former Persian territories, which are still too insecure to be counted.
Until then, thanks for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
Princeof Persia
Emperor
It lives on!
MTB4884
Emperor
Great updates, tR1cKy! I'm looking forward to reading more of the great Nerd-Persian War. Go Nerds!
I'm looking forward to reading more of the great Nerd-Persian War. Go Nerds!
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Great updates, tR1cKy!
Thanks! I'd say, there's still much to be told. The Persian campaign is nor quick nor easy, and the Nerds aren't likely to run out of enemies anytime soon.
Demographics of our empire in 700 AD:
Ottomans|58
Celts|35
Zulu|30
Arabs|27
Mongols|13
Spanish|1
Total|285
The Nerds are the biggest group but with the inclusion of the Ottomans they are no longer the absolute majority.
For a more detailed view i've divided the Empire into 4 entities: Homeland, Zululand (all former Zulu territory), Celtarabia (Celtic and Arabian lands are part of the same territorial entity and partially intermixed, so it makes sense to join them) and Ottoman (former Ottoman lands with the inclusion of the ex Celtic enclave of Verulamium).
Homeland
Zulu|12
Mongols|7
Celts|6
Arabs|3
Total|83
The Nerds are of course the most, but there are sizeable Mongol and Zulu minorities. Almost half of the Zulu people actually live here, because of historical reasons: during the Zulu conquest, cities were stripped of the most of their native population, to minimize the risk of defects. Zulu people were used for slave labor and, later on, reintegrated into the resident population. A sizeable amount of Zulus settled into the Nerd homeland and, as today, there are Zulu communities in most of the native cities, the biggest one being in Dumb City where it outnumbers the native population.
Smaller Celt and Arabian communities are also present. These people too are former slaves that, after the conquest of Celtarabia, were freed of slave labor. A small number of them travelled up to the Homeland and built there small but thriving communities.
Mongols are concentrated in the Breeder City but a small number of them is also present in Lazy City.
The most diverse city is Wise City which hosts the bigger Celtic presence of the Homeland and also smaller Zulu and Arabian communities.
Zululand
Zulu|14
Mongols|7
Total|43
In former Zululand, the Nerds outnumber the Zulus by a clear margin, for the same historical reason stated above. During the conquest, with cities depopulated and most of the native people under slavery, new breeds of Nerds progressively filled the gaps. With the successive reintegration, only part of the Zulus settled back into their ancestral homelands. However, sizeable Zulu communities are present in every former Zulu city, although only in Hlobane they are the majority.
Mongols are thriving in Mongol Haven, where they are a clear majority, and are also starting to settle in Bapedi. No other ethnicities are present.
Celtarabia
Arabs|24
Celts|24
Ottomans|5
Zulu|4
Spanish|1
Total|96
While not the majority, the Nerds are still the most numerous ethnicity. This is due in part to some depopulation during the conquest and in part to the fresh settlements of Leet City, Noob City and Geek City. As expected, Arabians are mostly located in their former territory, expecially in the cities of Mecca, Medina and Damascus where they are the majority. Same story for the Celts, with Entremont (former capital) being still mostly Celtic and hosting their bigger community, followed by Richborough and Lugdunum. However, there has been a certain degree of intermixing, with some Celt presence in former Arabian cities and vice-versa. There are also smaller Zulu communities, some fresh Ottoman ex-slaves and a small Spanish presence, coming from a batch of slaves bought in ancient times from Spain.
Notable cities are Damascus, our new capital, where apart from Arabian and Celts, there is the only Spanish community of the Empire, and Alesia, which sports five different nationalities each one in similar numbers.
Ottoman
Nerds|5
Celts|5
Total|63
The former Ottoman territory is the most omogeneous part of the Nerd empire. The vast majority is still Ottoman, with Celts and Nerds present only in limited numbers. This is due to the nature of the conquest: fast and flawless. Therefore, only a small part of the population has been forcibly relocated and there hasn't been enough time for the Nerds to settle in significant numbers. The cities of the northern part are still completely Ottoman, with Celt and Nerd presence limited in the southern part.
A good part of the Ottoman diaspora is still in forced labor, and is expected to settle, in future times, into what is now Persian territory, as Persian cities will need to be depopulated.
----
And now, the next installment:
As the turn ends, more unpleasant news come: Egypt, our only trading partner left, has joined the dogpile, depriving us of a much needed spice supply. The only friendly AS remains Spain...
...but, unfortunately, not for long:
And so the dogpile is complete. We're at war with every other civilization:
As if it wasn't enough, evil Jerksees shows once again its inherent cowardice and duplicity: only one turn after signing in the Spanish, he pretends to sign peace with us. Of course, he's given a wide berth:
Persia tries to retaliate against both our sea and land forces, with no success: a frigate sent against our mighty HMS Foobar ends up in the bottom of the seas, for another brilliant victory our our heroic navy. Moreover, a cavalry unit tries to strike at Najran, but after being given a warm welcome by our cannons, the defending musketman shoot it down, getting also elite promotion. Another enemy units gets lost in the surrounding jungle, and is ready to be used as a practice target for our cannons and attackers:
Meanwhile, our attack forces were healing and reinforcing, and in 720 AD, a double strike is performed. As Spain has turned against us, we take back the city of Kufah (which was donated to them during the Arabian campaign). Moreover, our bulk forces in Persepolis deliver another blow to the pesky Persians: a blitz attack to Antioch ends up with the capture of the city and the control of Sistine Chapel. Persia is deprived of another key city and a precious wonder. At this point, their unhappiness must be skyrocketing.
Too much work for the Military Advisor alone, and with the ass being busy with jennies, the Radioactive Monkey must once again step in to fill the gap:
As i said before, there will be still much to be told. This war is brutal, it's an all-out campaign that will end only with the total assimilation of continental Persia. And while our enemies have lost roughly one third of their potential and are being bitten hard by war weariness, they still have formidable defenses, hard to beat even with cavalry units. Moreover, war weariness is biting us too, and the sudden loss of two luxuries will only make things worse.
Will the Nerds have the might and the stamina to go on till the end, or will they be forced to stop half-way? Only time will tell. In the meantime, thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
tR1cKy
taking over the world
I found some time for another few comics:
It's 740 AD and we're ready to strike again at a major Persian city. Bactra is rioting, a clear sign of the growing discontent of the Persian population, as their empire is being eaten chunk after chunk:
The Nerd forces are once again victorious, and also manage to get rid of one of the many Persian pester boats which was left sitting in Bactra:
However, things are getting worse for us as well. With the last attacker, dutifully repelled, war weariness has reached an all-time high, to the point that we're forced to rise luxury spending at a staggering 40%. Physics is complete in 750 AD, but at this point we can no longer afford even a modest budget for science:
As if it wasn't enough, Spanish pesters are entering the scene, and we need to take care of them as well:
Anyway our forces continue in their relentless effort to bring down their major enemy. A minor city this time, but still a step nearer the whole collapse of Persia. Susa, once size 12, has lost 2 population units, another sign that Jerksees is progressively getting incapable of keeping its own people at bay:
Note that Murcia has had 4 different masters during the whole game. Founded by the Spanish, it has been taken over by the Ottomans during the Spanish dogpile, then by the Persians during our alliance against Osman the Porker and, finally, by us. Hopefully, no more changes of hand will occur.
The campaign goes on at full bore, but more dangers are around the corner for the glorious Nerd Empire. Will it be able to stand up to them? We'll see in the next installment. Until then, thank you for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
It's 740 AD and we're ready to strike again at a major Persian city. Bactra is rioting, a clear sign of the growing discontent of the Persian population, as their empire is being eaten chunk after chunk:
The Nerd forces are once again victorious, and also manage to get rid of one of the many Persian pester boats which was left sitting in Bactra:
However, things are getting worse for us as well. With the last attacker, dutifully repelled, war weariness has reached an all-time high, to the point that we're forced to rise luxury spending at a staggering 40%. Physics is complete in 750 AD, but at this point we can no longer afford even a modest budget for science:
As if it wasn't enough, Spanish pesters are entering the scene, and we need to take care of them as well:
Anyway our forces continue in their relentless effort to bring down their major enemy. A minor city this time, but still a step nearer the whole collapse of Persia. Susa, once size 12, has lost 2 population units, another sign that Jerksees is progressively getting incapable of keeping its own people at bay:
Note that Murcia has had 4 different masters during the whole game. Founded by the Spanish, it has been taken over by the Ottomans during the Spanish dogpile, then by the Persians during our alliance against Osman the Porker and, finally, by us. Hopefully, no more changes of hand will occur.
The campaign goes on at full bore, but more dangers are around the corner for the glorious Nerd Empire. Will it be able to stand up to them? We'll see in the next installment. Until then, thank you for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
tR1cKy
taking over the world
760 AD has been, for all means, an epic turn.
Did i mention more dangers yet to come? Well, here they are. Both the Babylonese and the Egyptians have landed units in my homeland, where there's no standing garrison but only a rapid reaction force made of cavalry units, therefore the cities result undefended by the AS.
Though i'm pretty sure it is by chance (the AS do not talk each other to assess a joint strike against a common enemy), this is one of the few cases when they actually pose a real threat. The count is 9 units, some of them being knights and cavalries. Now, if i didn't have enough cavalries to annihilate them, i would be in great danger of losing one of two core cities.
Fortunately, reinfocements from the Zulu coast may come via boats and join the reaction force in the homeland. This way, all the invaders may be killed before they have a chance to do damage, but i feel like i've just avoided a landmine:
And if it wasn't enough, in the same turn Carthage has landed forces near Entremont! Hovever, that part of our empire hasn't been left without coverage: a rapid reaction force is present as well, in enough numbers to get rid of those scumbags as well.
Moreover, please note that the Rotten Tub and the Deadly Trap are sailing undisturbed among enemy units, as if they've had notice of the brilliant past victories of our paltry boats and, by consequence, they'd be scared to attack them!
But it's still not over yet! Two bands of Spaniards have popped up near the freshly conquered city of Murcia! However, they're mostly outdated units, no real threat for our mounted forces that are concentrated exactly in that area:
Of course, this does not deter our empire to proceed with its campaign. Enough units have been gathered in Kufah and Murcia to launch a coordinated strike at Susa and Tarsus. Susa is quite a tough target, but we always know how to boost the morale of our troops, although by somewhat questionable means
Long story short, not only we clear all the pests, but we also manage to take over both cities, and the looted gold isn't bad either:
Next turn, more intruders are landed near Entremont:
But we kill them all, and also advance further into Persian territory with the capture of Seville:
Unfortunately, in the interturn Susa defects back to Persia, but the losses are limited to only one longbow, and the recapture team north of the city sports 3 cannons, so it shouldn't be that hard to take it back:
At the dawn of 780 AD, Persia has reached maximum war weariness and has fallen into anarchy! They have loads of money but can't spend them in any way! It is now time to take over the remaining cities as soon as possible, before they have a chance to miniaturize their treasure. The offensive goes on at full force, not only Susa is recaptured but we also proceed further toward complete assimilation.
On a side note, the attempts of the Military Advisor to hook up with his new aide (the former Fashion Advisor) keep hitting a wall
What now? There's only one Persian city left in the continent: Tarsus, also sporting a much useful Magellan's. Of course we'll attack it as soon as we can, but the story won't be over yet: there is another big city on a small islans SW (sporting also 2 Spanish settlements) and two small village on a far island north of Egypt, also shared with Spain.
To reach the island SW, our caravel must make their way in waters infested by enemy frigates. Will they be up to the task? To reach the far island, new ships are being built in the homeland, but they too are in danger of meeting enemy vessels. In both cases, the capture of Magellan's could be the key point making the difference between success and failure.
Finally, the cities of Valencia and Santiago, which was Spanish originally before being conquered by Persia, still sport a significant Spanish population and are at risk of defecting to Spain too! In particular Valencia is under border pressure directly from Madrid, therefore it is at high risk. The best course of action seems to not stop with Persia but to take over the whole of Spain too, thus achieving complete continental dominance.
In short, even if we've brought Persia on its knees and Spain is fairly weak, this war is far from being over. And there's also the issue of being under a total dogpile. We won't be able to trade luxuries or techs until we buy back some friends.
To the science front, there's a pressing need to obtain Magnetism (galleons), but we're still spending 40% in luxuries and there's simply not enough money left to perform a research in useful times. What we need to do is to extort it from Persia as part of a peace deal. Actually, we could go as far as getting both Magnetism and Gravity, paving the way for Steam Power and railroads. This plan is possible because i'm going to amend the rules:
Rule amendment
We'll be honorable as long as they're honorable with us. If an AS has cheated on us before, then anything goes.
Amendment to amendment
RoP rape is still forbidden no matter what.
In short, what we can do, supposing an AS has cheated on us, is to exploit a trade. Persia has tried to sneak-attack us (committing a RoP rape) so we'll going to sign peace for hard goods and then redeclare immediately without waiting the prescribed 20 turns. Egypt has broken a trade in which we were giving, as part of it, hard goods for per-turn payment, so they're on the cheat list as well. All the other AS have been honorable so far, therefore it's still forbidden to cheat on them. Of course this will change should some of them cheat on us in the future.
That's all for now. Enjoy this last update and, as usual, thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Did i mention more dangers yet to come? Well, here they are. Both the Babylonese and the Egyptians have landed units in my homeland, where there's no standing garrison but only a rapid reaction force made of cavalry units, therefore the cities result undefended by the AS.
Though i'm pretty sure it is by chance (the AS do not talk each other to assess a joint strike against a common enemy), this is one of the few cases when they actually pose a real threat. The count is 9 units, some of them being knights and cavalries. Now, if i didn't have enough cavalries to annihilate them, i would be in great danger of losing one of two core cities.
Fortunately, reinfocements from the Zulu coast may come via boats and join the reaction force in the homeland. This way, all the invaders may be killed before they have a chance to do damage, but i feel like i've just avoided a landmine:
And if it wasn't enough, in the same turn Carthage has landed forces near Entremont! Hovever, that part of our empire hasn't been left without coverage: a rapid reaction force is present as well, in enough numbers to get rid of those scumbags as well.
Moreover, please note that the Rotten Tub and the Deadly Trap are sailing undisturbed among enemy units, as if they've had notice of the brilliant past victories of our paltry boats and, by consequence, they'd be scared to attack them!
But it's still not over yet! Two bands of Spaniards have popped up near the freshly conquered city of Murcia! However, they're mostly outdated units, no real threat for our mounted forces that are concentrated exactly in that area:
Of course, this does not deter our empire to proceed with its campaign. Enough units have been gathered in Kufah and Murcia to launch a coordinated strike at Susa and Tarsus. Susa is quite a tough target, but we always know how to boost the morale of our troops, although by somewhat questionable means
Long story short, not only we clear all the pests, but we also manage to take over both cities, and the looted gold isn't bad either:
Next turn, more intruders are landed near Entremont:
But we kill them all, and also advance further into Persian territory with the capture of Seville:
Unfortunately, in the interturn Susa defects back to Persia, but the losses are limited to only one longbow, and the recapture team north of the city sports 3 cannons, so it shouldn't be that hard to take it back:
At the dawn of 780 AD, Persia has reached maximum war weariness and has fallen into anarchy! They have loads of money but can't spend them in any way! It is now time to take over the remaining cities as soon as possible, before they have a chance to miniaturize their treasure. The offensive goes on at full force, not only Susa is recaptured but we also proceed further toward complete assimilation.
On a side note, the attempts of the Military Advisor to hook up with his new aide (the former Fashion Advisor) keep hitting a wall
What now? There's only one Persian city left in the continent: Tarsus, also sporting a much useful Magellan's. Of course we'll attack it as soon as we can, but the story won't be over yet: there is another big city on a small islans SW (sporting also 2 Spanish settlements) and two small village on a far island north of Egypt, also shared with Spain.
To reach the island SW, our caravel must make their way in waters infested by enemy frigates. Will they be up to the task? To reach the far island, new ships are being built in the homeland, but they too are in danger of meeting enemy vessels. In both cases, the capture of Magellan's could be the key point making the difference between success and failure.
Finally, the cities of Valencia and Santiago, which was Spanish originally before being conquered by Persia, still sport a significant Spanish population and are at risk of defecting to Spain too! In particular Valencia is under border pressure directly from Madrid, therefore it is at high risk. The best course of action seems to not stop with Persia but to take over the whole of Spain too, thus achieving complete continental dominance.
In short, even if we've brought Persia on its knees and Spain is fairly weak, this war is far from being over. And there's also the issue of being under a total dogpile. We won't be able to trade luxuries or techs until we buy back some friends.
To the science front, there's a pressing need to obtain Magnetism (galleons), but we're still spending 40% in luxuries and there's simply not enough money left to perform a research in useful times. What we need to do is to extort it from Persia as part of a peace deal. Actually, we could go as far as getting both Magnetism and Gravity, paving the way for Steam Power and railroads. This plan is possible because i'm going to amend the rules:
Rule amendment
We'll be honorable as long as they're honorable with us. If an AS has cheated on us before, then anything goes.
Amendment to amendment
RoP rape is still forbidden no matter what.
In short, what we can do, supposing an AS has cheated on us, is to exploit a trade. Persia has tried to sneak-attack us (committing a RoP rape) so we'll going to sign peace for hard goods and then redeclare immediately without waiting the prescribed 20 turns. Egypt has broken a trade in which we were giving, as part of it, hard goods for per-turn payment, so they're on the cheat list as well. All the other AS have been honorable so far, therefore it's still forbidden to cheat on them. Of course this will change should some of them cheat on us in the future.
That's all for now. Enjoy this last update and, as usual, thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
templar_x
usually walks his talks
hilarious, great update! keep it going, tr1cky!
t_x
t_x
tR1cKy
taking over the world
thanks!
As there's no sign of a new GotM being out (and, given the current situation, i doubt there will be any for the time being), i've spent some of my free time to set up a new installment.
----
It's 790 AD and it's time we take measures to get out of the dogpile. After having killed a few of their intruders, the cost of peace with the Carthaginians has dropped to an affordable level.
It may sound strange that we actually have to pay for peace, considering that we are way bigger and the kill count is clearly in our favour. But there's an alliance between these pukes and Persia, and Cartage has to break it, which increases the cost.
However, when it will be time to sign with Persia, they will have one less alliance to break, and this will lower an already negative cost, making possible (maybe) what our clever leadership has in mind.
On the war front, we're at the gates of the last continental city that is still loyal to Persia:
Correction: was
In the interturn, Hammurabi sues for peace. Same story as Carthage, the small price is well worth being paid:
Meanwhile, a new fleet has been assembled to ship our troops to the Persian colonies located in a far island north of Egypt. The Ramshackle, the Derelict and the Rattletrap are ready to sail off, but in spite of the aura of invincibility that surrounds our navy, troopers still have some restraints:
At the same time, the Deadly Trap and the Rotten Tub have finally reached the port of Gordium, where they load more troops to seize the city of Sidon, which is sharing a small island SW of the continent with two small Spanish villages. But on their way they spot a new fearsome opponent, a Persian ironclad. Wisely, they decide to not push their luck too far and change course to the Spanish coast. The shipped troops, for now, will be used as reinforcements in the Spanish campaign:
They're useful because we are not stopping here. There are lots of troops in the continent, so why not using some of them to assess the vile Spanish as well? We take over Madrid and then Barcelona. From there, the two caravels may send an assault force to Sidon without the risk of being sunk half-way by that pesky ironclad:
In 850 AD, the northern fleet reaches the far island and unloads its bulk of troops outside the village of Sardis. In the same turn, an attack force is landed outside Sidon:
Both attacks are successful and Jerksees is reduced to play OCC in its last city. On a side note, our advisor's attempts to hook up with his new aide keep hitting a brick wall
What next? With Persia being reduced to a one-city state, it is time to sign peace and get both Magnetism and Gravity as part of the deal, in return for a sum of money that is already well within our reserve. As an added bonus, we could also try to get Steam Power. It doesn't matter if we go broke because we'll immediately redeclare and take over that last village as well as all the spent cash.
Then, Spain is going to follow the same fate of Persia. There's no reason to keep them alive, and their weakness means a quick and dirty conquest. Once achieved that result, we'll have control over the whole continent and we'll be free from both war weariness and threats of cultural defections.
My immediate plan for the far continent is to sign peace with Greece as well and invade Egypt, which is the weakest state and sports a useful luxury resource (spice) that we're currently devoid of.
On the civilian "front", we'll continue breeding the Mongol kin, assimilate the foreign workers and begin to railroad our empire as soon as Steam Power becomes available.
But all of this stuff is matter for the future installments. Until then, thanks for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
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Everkane
Valar Morghulis
One of the best topics ever! The monkey is hilarious!
MTB4884
Emperor
Great update! You definitely have the scariest named ships in all of CivIII, and probably the most distracted military advisor as well. Go Nerds!
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Thank you very much followers! Yes, the military advisor is quite distracted lately, but with a babe that hot, who wouldn't? 
And there will be more of the monkey in the future.
By now, the demise of Persia:
It's 860 AD. Jerksees has been reduced to play OCC in its last stronghold, and now it's time to give that filthy backstabber what he deserves. Firstly, we sign peace and, by tossing in some good money, we manage to obtain Gravity and Magnetism. By consequence, we finally make it into the industrials:
There's one more tech really worth buying from Persia, and it's Steam Power. Greedy Jerksees wants a buttload of gold, but we can afford the price:
Finally, we redeclare war immediately:
And, with cavalries, we capture Persia's last city in the very same turn, getting back all the money we've spent before, plus some more:
Persia, our strongest enemy so far, is finally gone. Now we can turn down luxury spending to a healthier 10% and, thanks to that ginormous loot, put everything else into research without caring about being in deficit. Electricity will be completed in a few turns, and with that knowledge we'll be able to buy our way into tech parity with the other AS.
Spain is still alive, but not for long. Their last continental city falls, and our troops, once having dealt with Persia, will dispose quickly of the weaker Spanish defenders.
On a side note, the transition to the Industrial Ages meant an unexpected turn for the better for our Military Advisor:
That's all for now. Next update will include the demise of Spain, more bloodshed and a new census for the Nerd Empire. Until then, thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Yes, the military advisor is quite distracted lately, but with a babe that hot, who wouldn't? And there will be more of the monkey in the future.By now, the demise of Persia:
It's 860 AD. Jerksees has been reduced to play OCC in its last stronghold, and now it's time to give that filthy backstabber what he deserves. Firstly, we sign peace and, by tossing in some good money, we manage to obtain Gravity and Magnetism. By consequence, we finally make it into the industrials:
There's one more tech really worth buying from Persia, and it's Steam Power. Greedy Jerksees wants a buttload of gold, but we can afford the price:
Finally, we redeclare war immediately:
And, with cavalries, we capture Persia's last city in the very same turn, getting back all the money we've spent before, plus some more:
Persia, our strongest enemy so far, is finally gone. Now we can turn down luxury spending to a healthier 10% and, thanks to that ginormous loot, put everything else into research without caring about being in deficit. Electricity will be completed in a few turns, and with that knowledge we'll be able to buy our way into tech parity with the other AS.
Spain is still alive, but not for long. Their last continental city falls, and our troops, once having dealt with Persia, will dispose quickly of the weaker Spanish defenders.
On a side note, the transition to the Industrial Ages meant an unexpected turn for the better for our Military Advisor:
That's all for now. Next update will include the demise of Spain, more bloodshed and a new census for the Nerd Empire. Until then, thanks for following!
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
templar_x
usually walks his talks
but now imagine YOUR face if Jerksees had had a settler on a boat and would have gone on a long long sea trip with all your money on board...
(just saying because i had that once, and i really did not expect any ships from that civ on the seas)
t_x
(just saying because i had that once, and i really did not expect any ships from that civ on the seas)
t_x
tR1cKy
taking over the world
but now imagine YOUR face if Jerksees had had a settler on a boat and would have gone on a long long sea trip with all your money on board...
(just saying because i had that once, and i really did not expect any ships from that civ on the seas)
t_x
Well, it didn't happen
There have been surely settlers on boats, but i've never met one so far. I suppose it's because the whole world is completely settled from ages. My understanding is that, if there's no room for settling, after a while they're sent back into cities and, after a while more, rejoined. But i could be wrong.
Now, a brief update depicting the demise of Spain.
It's 880 AD and the remains of Spain are falling quickly to the mighty Nerd army. During the capture of Santander, another leader is generated. As both the Military Advisor and his aide are busy doing something quite better than performing war reports, our jack-of-all-trades, the Radioactive Monkey must once again fill the gap:
Santander is captured, and now only two cities remains:
Next turn, a final salute to Isabella of Spain:
And then, with a coordinated strike, both cities fall:
It's 890 AD and Spain joins Persia, Ottomans, Arabia, Celts and Zululand in the club of conquered states:
Now, the whole continent in under Nerd domain, and the far island is ours as well. But the action is not over, as Egypt is still at war with us and, unfortunately for them, they sport a luxury (spices) that we want so badly
So the nerd troops will quite soon perform their first true oversea invasion.In the next installment there will be: more on the breeding of Mongol people, a current map of the world and the updated demographics for the Nerd empire. Until then, thank you for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
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templar_x
usually walks his talks
Kirejara
King
Hi,
I like this funny story approach!
And while totally different to my playstyle, You are obviously very successful.
I like this funny story approach!
And while totally different to my playstyle, You are obviously very successful.
tR1cKy
taking over the world
as if you would have made a photo...
nice update!
t_x
Well, i would have taken a screenshot of either the boat - if i spotted it - or of their new capital and tried to fit the event into the general tone of the story, but rest assured i wouldn't have been happy at all.
Hi,
I like this funny story approach!
And while totally different to my playstyle, You are obviously very successful.
Thank you very much, and welcome on board!
----
Census of the Nerd Empire, year 890 AD
With the conquest of Persia and Spain, those territories can now be considered as stable parts of the Nerd Empire and counted in the census. Here is a map of the Nerd possession as in 890 AD, with its major divisions:
890 AD
|
700 AD
|Nerds|
144
|
121
|Ottomans|
67
|
58
|Persians|
52
|
0
|Spanish|
39
|
1
|Celts|
36
|
35
|Arabs|
32
|
27
|Zulu|
30
|
30
|Mongols|
15
|
14
|Total|
415
|
285
|The biggest difference is the inclusion of Persians and Spanish populations, as a consequence of the conquest. The growth of the Ottomans (and, to a lesser extent, of Celts and Arab populations) is due to the resettlement of former forced laborers. In spite of the unhappiness problems caused by a harsh and prolongued war, there's been a minimal growth of the Mongol ethnicity as well.
Nerds|
56
|
55
|Zulu|
12
|
12
|Mongols|
8
|
7
|Celts|
6
|
6
|Arabs|
4
|
3
|Total |
86
|
83
|Little has changed in the Homeland: a minimal increase of the Nerd and Mongol populations and the formation of a small Arabian community in Smart City.
Nerds|
29
|
23
|Zulu|
15
|
14
|Mongols|
7
|
7
|Arabs|
1
|
0
|Total |
52
|
43
|With the inclusion of Baghdad, Zululand scores a minimal growth of the Zulus and the appearance of a small Arabian community, but most of the growth is due to the natural increase in the Nerd population.
Nerds|
36
|
38
|Celts|
24
|
24
|Arabs|
23
|
24
|Ottomans|
7
|
5
|Zulu|
3
|
4
|Spanish|
1
|
1
|Total |
94
|
96
|Celtarabia reports a small drop in numbers overall. The loss of Baghdad has been counterbalanced by the integration of some former Ottoman slaves. The Nerds have actually grown, but the massive enlistement of paid workforce has caused a net decrease of the resident population.
Ottomans|
50
|
53
|Nerds|
9
|
5
|Celts|
5
|
5
|Total |
64
|
63
|War weariness has caused some serious problems in the cramped Ottoman cities, and some of the natives had to be drafted into slave labor in order to keep the situation under control. However, the increase in Nerd population was enough to keep the numbers stable.
Persians|
34
|Nerds|
14
|Ottomans|
10
|Arabs|
4
|Spanish|
3
|Celts|
1
|Total |
64
|Former Persia is the region that suffered the most during the brutal Persian war. Most of the cities have suffered a sharp drop in population and a large part of the Persians are still into slavery. The cities of Arbela and Pasagardae have been stripped almost entirely of the native population while scores of Ottomans, Celts and Arabs, former slaves themselves, have been moved in to fill the void, as the natural influx of Nerds wasn't enough to repopulate the cities.
Persia also hosts two small Spanish communies, in Susa and Kufah, and an Ottoman one, in Murcia, where it is the majority. All those communities settled there in ancient times, as a result of the wars between Persia, Spain and Ottomans.
Spanish|
31
|Persians|
17
|Total |
48
|The Spanish conquest has been performed blazingly fast and, as a consequence, the original population is mostly intact. No Nerds have settled there yet, and only a limited amount of natives has been drafted into slavery. Apart from the Spanish, there's a sizeable Persian presence in this area, with large communities in Seville and Santiago, as a result of the capture by Persia during the previous wars. More numbers are provided by Sidon, which is actually a Persian city that has been included into Spain for convenience.
Spanish|
4
|Persians|
3
|Total |
7
|Faraway is a small island, north of Egypt, which hosts some small Persian and Spanish villages. Settlers haven't arrived yet, and the population is small. Moreover, some natives had to be drafted into forced labor in order to build at least some basic infrastructure on the island, therefore the population isn't expected to rise anytime soon.
----
And now, on with the next installment:
It's 890 AD. War with Persia and Spain has led us into the Industrials, and has left us with a hefty sum of looted money. Our 7th luxury is bought from Carthage. Greedy Hannibal won't give away gems for cheap, but we can afford the price:
We're still at war with Greece and Egypt. Egypt will be our next victim, but preparations are to be made before we can venture into the first true naval invasion of our history. Our transport fleet must increase in numbers, and some escorting ironclads are needed as well, or else even the curse of the Nerd navy won't be enough to protect our galleons against their ironclads.
Both Greece and Egypt have been pestering our coasts with bombardments from frigates and ironclads. In 920 AD, Egyptian pressure near our homeland has grown so high that we have to sacrifice some cavalry units in order to not lose our vital improvements:
At the same time, Egypt is pestering the shores of Faraway as well. During its sail to the soutern port of Vitoria, the Rattletrap is intercepted by an Egyptian frigate, but once again the Curse of the Nerd Navy takes its toll: the Rattletrap defends successfully and then moves into the safety of the Vitoria harbor before the other frigates can finish it off:
In the interturn, we finally complete research on Electricity:
As it's been seen countless times, the Nerd navy seems to be surrounded by an aura of invincibility. So far, our vessels have won every battle they've fought. Not once in our whole history a Nerd ship has been sunk. And it's not over yet: as our fleet builds up, for the first time Nerd ironclads enter the scene near the homeland, where Egyptian frigates have been roaming the seas undisturbed:
The Peashooter is sent immediately into battle against one of those frigates, and scores a brilliant victory with elite promotion. To the south, its twin unit, the Pedalstart does not perform equally well, but it manages to sink another Egyptian frigate nonetheless, and although it is badly damaged, it has time to move back to the safety of the Abracadabra harbor:
(note: the following image is actually a merge of two distinct screenshots)
And there's still more: in the southwest area, a Greek fregate is chasing the Floating Coffin, but has made the mistake of moving too close to the coast. There are no cannons in that area, but there's a rail link connecting Entremont to the rest of the empire and several cannons to the south are already on a rail tile. Therefore, they have the necessary movement points to move to the coast and fire against the frigate:
The cannons shell the reckless frigate into redline, and the predator becomes prey:
It's the third victory for the Floating Coffin, the best record of the whole Nerd navy. What has begun its existence as simple regular galley with a supposed lifespan shorted than a fart has become, through the ages, an undisputed master of the seas.
That's all for now. In the next installment, more naval engagements, some hard work for the Foreign Advisor (the monkey will return to help) and the preparation for the naval invasion of Egypt. Until then, thanks for following
~~~~~ to be continued ~~~~~
Attachments
templar_x
usually walks his talks
awesome. i already wanted to ask when the next update of this story is up
t_x
t_x
MTB4884
Emperor
Another great update! I'm also glad to see that the Nerd fleet is continuing the great dual traditions of scary names (especially among the Cursed Galleon class warships) and ruthless fighting skills. Go Nerds!
tR1cKy
taking over the world
Thank you very much for your support, guys!
I understand i've being slow with my updates, but i hardly can do better than that. Apart from the limited time at my avail, i just need to receive the "right" inspiration for a comic, and it is pretty much a random process. It can come at any time... or not. And if it doesn't come, i'm not even trying to force-build a comic because, without the right idea, the end result would be just a mediocre work.
Anyway, in these days it came, and i'm now posting the second part of my last update:
-----
It's 930 AD and we've just researched Electricity. We're at peace, and trading, with both Carthage and Babylon and still at war with Egypt and Greece. The original plan was to just stay at war, and enjoy war happiness, until the Nerd Empire was ready to invade Egypt, but now a better plan is possible.
We'll sign peace with Egypt now, and get Medicine as part of the deal. Then, research can go immediately to Scientific Method. Thanks to the large treasury still in our coffers we can run a deficit spending and complete the task in just a handful of turns. If get SM as a monopoly, it would be possible to trade for Replaceable Parts, Sanitation and Industrialization.
Things won't essentially change, because Egypt has cheated on us first and therefore we aren't bound to wait 20 turns for the peace deal to expire, but we can redeclare at will.
Meanwhile, more Greeks pesters come to harass our southers lands. An enemy ironclad has made the mistake to end up its course near the coast, and this will spell its doom: cannons bombs it to redline and then a fresh new unit, the Rusty Can gives it the final blow:
Next turn the story repeats. An ironclad and a galleon reach the coast and unloads a fresh bunch of pesters...
...but they too make the mistake of ending their course near the coast! Results: pests eliminated, galleon sunk and ironclad shelled to redline and without any chance to escape:
In 990 AD, Scientific Method is complete...
...and it's a monopoly tech! We are able to get Replaceable Parts and Sanitation from Carthage, plus a nice amount of quids:
Moreover, we sign peace with Greece, netting Industrialization and Democracy in the deal:
Meanwhile, on the domestic front, cities are being repopulated with former slaves while other cities are being moved or merged. The "combat city" of Jerksees Sucks, no longer with a purpose, has been disbanded with its former populace enlisted en masse into paid worker squads. The task of railing our empire is huge, and it takes a lot of manpower to complete it in reasonable times. Mongols are still being bred, and now they are ready to spread further into former Zululand.
Our fleet and our army have been strenghtened. Two fleets of galleons, loaded with units and escorted by ironclads, are already on their way to Egypt. War with pesky Cleopatra is about to begin... but this is matter for the next installment.
Until then, thanks for following
I understand i've being slow with my updates, but i hardly can do better than that. Apart from the limited time at my avail, i just need to receive the "right" inspiration for a comic, and it is pretty much a random process. It can come at any time... or not. And if it doesn't come, i'm not even trying to force-build a comic because, without the right idea, the end result would be just a mediocre work.
Anyway, in these days it came, and i'm now posting the second part of my last update:
-----
It's 930 AD and we've just researched Electricity. We're at peace, and trading, with both Carthage and Babylon and still at war with Egypt and Greece. The original plan was to just stay at war, and enjoy war happiness, until the Nerd Empire was ready to invade Egypt, but now a better plan is possible.
We'll sign peace with Egypt now, and get Medicine as part of the deal. Then, research can go immediately to Scientific Method. Thanks to the large treasury still in our coffers we can run a deficit spending and complete the task in just a handful of turns. If get SM as a monopoly, it would be possible to trade for Replaceable Parts, Sanitation and Industrialization.
Things won't essentially change, because Egypt has cheated on us first and therefore we aren't bound to wait 20 turns for the peace deal to expire, but we can redeclare at will.
Meanwhile, more Greeks pesters come to harass our southers lands. An enemy ironclad has made the mistake to end up its course near the coast, and this will spell its doom: cannons bombs it to redline and then a fresh new unit, the Rusty Can gives it the final blow:
Next turn the story repeats. An ironclad and a galleon reach the coast and unloads a fresh bunch of pesters...
...but they too make the mistake of ending their course near the coast! Results: pests eliminated, galleon sunk and ironclad shelled to redline and without any chance to escape:
In 990 AD, Scientific Method is complete...
...and it's a monopoly tech! We are able to get Replaceable Parts and Sanitation from Carthage, plus a nice amount of quids:
Moreover, we sign peace with Greece, netting Industrialization and Democracy in the deal:
Meanwhile, on the domestic front, cities are being repopulated with former slaves while other cities are being moved or merged. The "combat city" of Jerksees Sucks, no longer with a purpose, has been disbanded with its former populace enlisted en masse into paid worker squads. The task of railing our empire is huge, and it takes a lot of manpower to complete it in reasonable times. Mongols are still being bred, and now they are ready to spread further into former Zululand.
Our fleet and our army have been strenghtened. Two fleets of galleons, loaded with units and escorted by ironclads, are already on their way to Egypt. War with pesky Cleopatra is about to begin... but this is matter for the next installment.
Until then, thanks for following
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