Alright, here are some numbers as of Turn 112, 1200 BC:
Your approach has 24/42 Food (growth in 4 turns), 38/45 H in the Monument, and has earned 208 raw Commerce from citizens
My approach has 21/42 Food (growth in 5 turns), 41/45 H in the Monument, and has earned 225 raw Commerce from citizens
Note that the Commerce values ignore Trade Routes and the City Centre square, since those values will be constant. I also did not factor in the Libraries up until this point, since we got the Libraries at identical times. Also note that I will value a Scientist's Flasks as being equivalent to raw Commerce, but we haven't yet included any Scientist Flasks in the results since the 1st Scientists were only just hired on this turn.
Now, I could keep playing it out, but let's just do some estimates for now instead.
Let's say that your extra 3 Food allows you to work a Scientist 1 turn sooner, giving you +3 raw Commerce.
Let's also say that my later 1 turn of Unhappiness gives you +3 Food and +2 Commerce.
Then, let's say that we don't solve our Happiness problem from whipping unhappiness and that you get 3 additional turns worth of no-whipping-unhappiness (since you whipped 3 turns earlier than I did). That will give you +6 Food and + 6 Commerce.
Now, I'm going to be really generous here and will give you the full (unrealistic) + 25% on this additional Commerce that you earned (likely you won't quite get +25% due to rounding, but whatever).
That's 3 + 2 + 6 = 11 *.25 (I'm going to floor it now, though) = 2
So, in addition to the "to date" totals, I'll give you 3 + 6 = 9 Food and 11 + 2 = 13 Commerce
So, that makes the expected final results to be:
You have 12 more Food than me
I have 3 more Hammers than you
I have 4 more Commerce than you
If we do manage to solve our Happiness problem, though, by getting Confucianism in Gold City, then you wouldn't get a credit of 3 turns of less whipping unhappiness, so the final numbers in that case would be:
You have 6 more Food than me
I have 3 more Hammers than you
I have 11 more Commerce than you
So, based on a totally random factor of where a Religion happens to be founded (although you yourself claim that Gold has a higher random chance to get Confucianism), the vote sways in from being in favour of one approach to the other.
Okay, let's try something else: let's see how many Flasks we will get pre-Writing. As of Turn 102, 1450 BC, counting only the raw Commerce from citizens (i.e. the Commerce from working any of the Fish, Clam, and Gold):
You will have 99 raw Commerce and I will have 114 raw Commerce. Will 15 additional raw Commerce net us Writing by this turn? I'm not sure.
Note that we're both whipping the Lighthouse on Turn 102, 1200 BC.
As of Turn 101, 1475 BC, you have 28 Food in your Foodbox to my 25 Food. However, we will both regrow to Size 3 at the same time after whipping the Lighthouse, we will both grow to Size 4 at the same time, we will both grow to Size 5 at the same time, and we will both regrow to Size 4 at the same time. So, it's only when we grow to Size 5 next that this Food helps you, which is why you got credit for the first comparison for having the Scientist Specialist for one extra turn.
As of Turn 101, 1475 BC, I have 3 more base Hammers than you do (I halved the Lighthouse Hammers for both of us to be fair). However, we will both build the Lighthouse at the same time as each other and will built the Library at the same time as each other. I will complete the Monument 1 turn before you will, but it's not like doing so really helps any (whoopdie doo, 1 extra Culture).
It could be that later, I will complete a Work Boat 1 turn sooner than you or something, so if we wanted, we could assign +2 Food to my approach for whatever City uses that Work Boat... it's a reasonable assumption since Gold City only makes 4 Hammers per turn, whereas 3 Hammers is almost a full turn worth of production. Note that this potential +2 Food has not been factored into the comparisons above, since it's still not a guarantee (just a very likely possibility).
Okay, so there are your numbers. Happy?