Let me say first of all that civ4 is a great game and i've wasted a lot of time playing it. So much so that i've often deleted it from my laptop only to reinstall it a few weeks later. Even had to repurchase it after throwing out the cd. 
I like to play as follows:
Normal speed
Standard size map (maybe large but no bigger) for time reasons
Fractal or continents
All other settings standard settings (usually turn off huts and random events)
Either no tech trading or no brokering
I won't play a map if it looks like an exceptionally good start (or a very poor one)
Prince (often win) or Monarch (struggle)
I've followed various diety games recently and watched a couple of TMIT's games onyoutube and saw plenty of tips which i intend to use
e.g. taking diplomacy seriously (i rarely ever gave in to a request or demand from the AI
), focusing on a larger number of cities with fewer buildings, fewer wonders.
There are some things i don't want to do e.g. rushes, availing of AI stupidity like demanding 1 gold when they go into war mode to buy 10 more turns.
I basically enjoy playing without exploiting AI weaknesses, peacemongering, developing my own cities, trading goods but not tech (at least no brokering as i like to enjoy the different eras and trading is too fast).
My ideal game would see me and one or two rivals neck and neck up to the modern age and then a space race or late war (on a normal map without dozens of cities).
Can this be achieved on Monarch or Emperor levels? Or do you have to be more aggressive?
Finally, what is the best mod to use for additional info during the game?
thanks in advance.

I like to play as follows:
Normal speed
Standard size map (maybe large but no bigger) for time reasons
Fractal or continents
All other settings standard settings (usually turn off huts and random events)
Either no tech trading or no brokering
I won't play a map if it looks like an exceptionally good start (or a very poor one)
Prince (often win) or Monarch (struggle)
I've followed various diety games recently and watched a couple of TMIT's games onyoutube and saw plenty of tips which i intend to use
e.g. taking diplomacy seriously (i rarely ever gave in to a request or demand from the AI

There are some things i don't want to do e.g. rushes, availing of AI stupidity like demanding 1 gold when they go into war mode to buy 10 more turns.
I basically enjoy playing without exploiting AI weaknesses, peacemongering, developing my own cities, trading goods but not tech (at least no brokering as i like to enjoy the different eras and trading is too fast).
My ideal game would see me and one or two rivals neck and neck up to the modern age and then a space race or late war (on a normal map without dozens of cities).
Can this be achieved on Monarch or Emperor levels? Or do you have to be more aggressive?
Finally, what is the best mod to use for additional info during the game?
thanks in advance.