Yeah, I agree with Idude. If you can't lock them in a room, then you'll have to just say to their face that if they can't for a short he'll die, if your mother/sister actually care then they'll at aleast try.
Suicide
- Thread starter White Elk
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Yeah, I agree with Idude. If you can't lock them in a room, then you'll have to just say to their face that if they can't for a short he'll die, if your mother/sister actually care then they'll at aleast try.
Leave them. I'm serious, if they can't be bothered fixing themselves then tell them to fix it or you will leave. Come back after a short while and see if they have learned their lesson. You must look out for Numero Uno (Yourself) and you must tell them you will not take this bull anymore. They have plenty of money, they just need to stop working against you. Take control man!
White Elk
99 > 1
My family tries at least. My mother has been on anti-depressents since the 80s. The doctors try some, then change the dosage... wait and then try more. etc etc Personally I think they have made things worse for her. She does try and she has a heart. She started and maintains an online group for people suffering some rare stomache disorder she has. She used to go out of her way to take me and my BoyScouts to outings. And my sisters to their youth events. She made costumes for all the girls in various parades etc etc etc She gives what she can, and at times she gives more than she can. I respect her very much for what she does for others. And here at home she tries... she really does. She frustrates me with her inability to deal with her household, but I still respect her for the person she is.
They return tomarrow and I have done what I could in their absence. Mom literally has many thousands of items to sort. 3/4s of a semi-truck loads worth. I do not exagerate! And now many more items have arrived since their intitial move into to this house. My mother and I have a long history. I have struggled against this for near 30yrs. She blames current progress on my past organization. But I know that prior to the efforts nothing could be accessed as there were just paths through the house. Crap was stacked deep to the walls and the crap on the bottem rick closest to the walls were never going to be accessed. Let alone even the top row of the nearsest rick. The top row becomes covered and unacessable in such short order and it can be considered lost within weeks.
So I struggled to ONCE AGAIN consolidate and organize her crap to the point where she may actually be able to pick up where I left. I cannot final organize this crap for it is not mine. But I can consolidate and group like items and haul away the trash and pack things tight so that there is actually room for her to do her part in this. And so I have... once again done this. The dinning room table is now 'found' and there is now room in the kitchen to actually prepare good meals. There is room in the living room to live, and there is room in her craft room for her to begin to organize her toys. I have done this soooooooooooo many times that I have lost count. Last time I said it was the last time. I focused on my work and my play and I took many steps back and ignored her crap. Now I wish I hadnt for I am back to square -1. I had a hard talk and said I am done helping those who dont help themeselves. After they return home and are settled then I will once again have a hard yet soft talk. I seek to gain such ground against this foe that I can tackle the real problems of the house construction. I seek to once and for all get down to that which has kept me here. Please wish and pray me luck!
I want to *****(term for female dog... starts with a B ends with an H) about my sisters latest counter efforts, but it is time for me to return to the quagmire. Suffice to say she has time to play but no time to help the family which helps her. One small aspect of this which I now go to deal with... everytime she opens the door to her assinine SUV, crap falls out. She never picks it up nor does she clean up after her kids. She is here nearly everyday to play on MySpace... and whatever. And nearly everytime she comes she leaves crap on the driveway. This is a small thing compared to everything... but it pisses me off to no end!
They return tomarrow and I have done what I could in their absence. Mom literally has many thousands of items to sort. 3/4s of a semi-truck loads worth. I do not exagerate! And now many more items have arrived since their intitial move into to this house. My mother and I have a long history. I have struggled against this for near 30yrs. She blames current progress on my past organization. But I know that prior to the efforts nothing could be accessed as there were just paths through the house. Crap was stacked deep to the walls and the crap on the bottem rick closest to the walls were never going to be accessed. Let alone even the top row of the nearsest rick. The top row becomes covered and unacessable in such short order and it can be considered lost within weeks.
So I struggled to ONCE AGAIN consolidate and organize her crap to the point where she may actually be able to pick up where I left. I cannot final organize this crap for it is not mine. But I can consolidate and group like items and haul away the trash and pack things tight so that there is actually room for her to do her part in this. And so I have... once again done this. The dinning room table is now 'found' and there is now room in the kitchen to actually prepare good meals. There is room in the living room to live, and there is room in her craft room for her to begin to organize her toys. I have done this soooooooooooo many times that I have lost count. Last time I said it was the last time. I focused on my work and my play and I took many steps back and ignored her crap. Now I wish I hadnt for I am back to square -1. I had a hard talk and said I am done helping those who dont help themeselves. After they return home and are settled then I will once again have a hard yet soft talk. I seek to gain such ground against this foe that I can tackle the real problems of the house construction. I seek to once and for all get down to that which has kept me here. Please wish and pray me luck!
I want to *****(term for female dog... starts with a B ends with an H) about my sisters latest counter efforts, but it is time for me to return to the quagmire. Suffice to say she has time to play but no time to help the family which helps her. One small aspect of this which I now go to deal with... everytime she opens the door to her assinine SUV, crap falls out. She never picks it up nor does she clean up after her kids. She is here nearly everyday to play on MySpace... and whatever. And nearly everytime she comes she leaves crap on the driveway. This is a small thing compared to everything... but it pisses me off to no end!
Maybe looking at this as a project management issue rather than a family sociology issue colors my view overmuch, but why is organization of your mom's stuff an essential element of fixing the plumbing, wiring, and walls (as opposed to simply getting it out of the way)? You say that you've done it over and over, and it doesn't 'stick' - your mother does not follow through or build on your organizational efforts. So, you must work around that, instead of spending effort on it yet again and hoping for different results. Don't organize her stuff, instead simply remove it from the area you need access to. If that means it goes out on the lawn, so be it (you could be nice and throw a tarp over it, I suppose). You've in effect trained her that you'll take care of her stuff for her. Stop doing that. Train her that if she gets more stuff, it'll be pushed aside in order for necessary work to be done, in order to save your father's life.
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