What can I say, it's Spring Break, I have more free writing time. 
Feel free to comment as always.
Suicide's Last Breath
Written by TM
I stood by the river one hundred yards behind my house. The same river that flows by the second hole at the Madelia golf course, the same river I had driven more than fifteen golf balls into the previous summer. My shoes were muddy and wet from the walk through the field covered with melted snow, but my jacket loose and unzipped because of the radiant sun.
My hands went to my pockets and out I pulled two bottles filled with prescription medication. The last two bottles left in my medicine cabinet. One label said Percocet, and the other, Lithium. Both prescribed by doctors not all that long ago, and both prescribed to relieve pain physical and mental.
The Percocet did its job. I cannot say it did not. After my last surgeries it took away the aches and the pains, and made the recovery process much more bearable. The Lithium did not do its job. Its job, as stated by a person supposedly an expert in such things, was to decrease my thoughts of suicide. Instead, the Lithium gave me one of my most powerful allies in completing just that, suicide.
Maybe the easiest way to kill oneself is to do it by a drug overdose. For a very long time in the past while I had those suicidal thoughts, I had two of the deadliest drugs available and the bottles were never more than a few feet away. All I had to do open the bottles, pour out a few pills, and swallow. I made it as far as pouring the pills into my hand. I did not swallow.
Suicidal thoughts are the worst thing I have ever encountered. I would rather have both arms chopped off, be poked in the eye with a sharp stick, or have my bones in my skull chipped out while awake than have, even for more than a moment, suicidal thoughts. Maybe more than anything, the hardest thing for me to get past was that I would rather have left behind all my family, friends, and everything else in my past in favor of a quick and painless death.
The thoughts ruined my education for that semester, almost cost me my college career, and when finally I thought I would not be able to endure much longer, the thoughts stopped. I have not had the urge to drive my car into a tree, stick that kitchen knife into my heart, nor have I even thought about death in a bad light for over four months.
After the wanting to kill myself ceased, I was shocked to learn at how much time I had then to think about other things, complete other tasks, and live a life full of confidence, joy, and love. The past three or four months have undoubtedly been the best of my life, and I attribute everything that has happened to the fact that I no longer have those irrational and awful thoughts that made me tempt death at every turn.
At the river, I let the pills drop one by one until the bottle labeled Percocet emptied. I did the same with the Lithium. All the time I wondered, why did the thoughts suddenly stop? Then I remembered a verse that a friend had emailed to me a few months before, for it is by grace you have been saved.
Was it an act of God that stopped me from wanting to kill myself? I do not honestly know, but I do think He has had a great influence on where I am today. I hope He continues to guide myself, and also those of you who read this. I want to also mention that I in no way am criticizing medicine. Medicine has helped me in more ways that I can state, but there is, as of right now, no medicine that heals the soul. That is Gods work.
Feel free to comment as always.Suicide's Last Breath
Written by TM
I stood by the river one hundred yards behind my house. The same river that flows by the second hole at the Madelia golf course, the same river I had driven more than fifteen golf balls into the previous summer. My shoes were muddy and wet from the walk through the field covered with melted snow, but my jacket loose and unzipped because of the radiant sun.
My hands went to my pockets and out I pulled two bottles filled with prescription medication. The last two bottles left in my medicine cabinet. One label said Percocet, and the other, Lithium. Both prescribed by doctors not all that long ago, and both prescribed to relieve pain physical and mental.
The Percocet did its job. I cannot say it did not. After my last surgeries it took away the aches and the pains, and made the recovery process much more bearable. The Lithium did not do its job. Its job, as stated by a person supposedly an expert in such things, was to decrease my thoughts of suicide. Instead, the Lithium gave me one of my most powerful allies in completing just that, suicide.
Maybe the easiest way to kill oneself is to do it by a drug overdose. For a very long time in the past while I had those suicidal thoughts, I had two of the deadliest drugs available and the bottles were never more than a few feet away. All I had to do open the bottles, pour out a few pills, and swallow. I made it as far as pouring the pills into my hand. I did not swallow.
Suicidal thoughts are the worst thing I have ever encountered. I would rather have both arms chopped off, be poked in the eye with a sharp stick, or have my bones in my skull chipped out while awake than have, even for more than a moment, suicidal thoughts. Maybe more than anything, the hardest thing for me to get past was that I would rather have left behind all my family, friends, and everything else in my past in favor of a quick and painless death.
The thoughts ruined my education for that semester, almost cost me my college career, and when finally I thought I would not be able to endure much longer, the thoughts stopped. I have not had the urge to drive my car into a tree, stick that kitchen knife into my heart, nor have I even thought about death in a bad light for over four months.
After the wanting to kill myself ceased, I was shocked to learn at how much time I had then to think about other things, complete other tasks, and live a life full of confidence, joy, and love. The past three or four months have undoubtedly been the best of my life, and I attribute everything that has happened to the fact that I no longer have those irrational and awful thoughts that made me tempt death at every turn.
At the river, I let the pills drop one by one until the bottle labeled Percocet emptied. I did the same with the Lithium. All the time I wondered, why did the thoughts suddenly stop? Then I remembered a verse that a friend had emailed to me a few months before, for it is by grace you have been saved.
Was it an act of God that stopped me from wanting to kill myself? I do not honestly know, but I do think He has had a great influence on where I am today. I hope He continues to guide myself, and also those of you who read this. I want to also mention that I in no way am criticizing medicine. Medicine has helped me in more ways that I can state, but there is, as of right now, no medicine that heals the soul. That is Gods work.
And like Nylan said, it does have a strong message, it just needs to be worded better. I know it's based on reality, but exaggerate your emotions. That's what usually helps me connect with a story.
