Suleiman's Harem

July 2040:

hatty-mini.gif
hi, Suleiman! Stop trading with Suryavarman! If you keep doing it, he'll win the game!
suleiman-mini.gif
And if I keep doing it, maybe I could win the game!
hatty-mini.gif
Also a bad thing.
suleiman-mini.gif
No. That's possibly a good thing. Farewell.


Jan 2041:

suleiman096.jpg


foreign-mini.gif
Catherine has captured Durnovaria.
suleiman-mini.gif
Cool! Since it's so close to Edirne, maybe it'll culture-flip, now.
army-mini.gif
Nah. Boudica is totally taking it back in two to five turns.



July 2042:

Suleiman sends a spy to forment revolt in Durnovaria, she succeeds.

foreign-mini.gif
What are you doing?
suleiman-mini.gif
I'm making Durnovaria flip to our side.
foreign-mini.gif
No you're not.
suleiman-mini.gif
Yes I am.
foreign-mini.gif
No, you're just making it revolt. Not culture-flip.
suleiman-mini.gif
So I've been wasting Spies and Spy points for three turns, now?
foreign-mini.gif
Totally.
suleiman-mini.gif
DANG IT! Why can those [BLEEP]s sabotage my improvements, destroy my factories, poison my waters, and basically do what they want, and WE can't do cool stuff with spies, huh? That sucks!
foreign-mini.gif
Welcome to the world of Espionage, Manny-bear.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP] the world of Espionage. What's the score like, then?
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman has 4152, we have 4100.
suleiman-mini.gif
Man! It suddenly got close, didn't it?
 
Jan. 2044:

The VP rings...

suleiman-mini.gif
Yeah?
izzy-mini.gif
Stop trading with that slutty tramp Catherine!
suleiman-mini.gif
Jeez! I can't stress enough just how fundamentally annoying you people are with those moronic "stop trading" requests! No! No. And just in case you feel like calling again for that reason again later, it'll still be NO!
izzy-mini.gif
Do as you wish, but you'll regret it later.
suleiman-mini.gif
No, I won't. Goodbye!

army-mini.gif
Dearest Sultan, can I have a word with you?
suleiman-mini.gif
Um... sure?
army-mini.gif
For the last few turns, you've been building Life Support, Thrusters, Casings, an Engine, and now a flipping Docking Bay!
suleiman-mini.gif
I know! Our Space Ship is cool, huh? We're so totally kicking Cyrus' butt in this Space Race!
army-mini.gif
There is no Space Race.
suleiman-mini.gif
Yes there is.
army-mini.gif
No. There isn't. There isn't enough time left in the game for a Space Race.
suleiman-mini.gif
What?
army-mini.gif
Not. Enough. Time.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]! What am I supposed to do, then?
army-mini.gif
You're supposed to get enough points to win with a Time Victory. We've had Modern Armors for a little while, and nobody else does. Edirne has already amassed a nice little stack of them. And if you stopped building useless Ship parts and had the rest of our cities participate, you'd have a hell of a Stack o' Doom in no time!
suleiman-mini.gif
Alright, alright. What's the score at?
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman has 4147, we have 4107.
 
July 2044:

Suleiman dials the VP...

boudica-mini.gif
Celtia, Queen Boudica speaking.
suleiman-mini.gif
Hey, my sweet little angel! I was just wondering...
boudica-mini.gif
Yes?
suleiman-mini.gif
How you... um...
boudica-mini.gif
Go on, don't be shy.
suleiman-mini.gif
How would you enjoy going to war.
boudica-mini.gif
I'm already at war, at the present time. Oh, you mean you'd like to side with me in my war?
suleiman-mini.gif
No. I mean, ~sigh~, you've been so nice this is really quite hard... I mean I'm declaring war on you, dear.
boudica-mini.gif
Beg your pardon?
suleiman-mini.gif
I'm declaring war on you. You should be losing Tolosa in just a few moments...
boudica-mini.gif
First, you drop our Defense Pact, and then, you betray me like a gutless, immoral, degenerate snake?
suleiman-mini.gif
I was hoping you'd take it a little better, here...
boudica-mini.gif
Is that what you were hoping? You're a [BLEEP]! A First class, backstabbing [BLEEP]!
suleiman-mini.gif
Well, there's no need to be such a baby about it, it's not personal!
boudica-mini.gif
[BLEEP] you!


Moments later... A Stack of Modern Armor goes on the offense...

suleiman097.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT! What's the score now?
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman has 4147, we have 4113.
 
July 2044:

army-mini.gif
My dear Sultan. We've taken a few defenders here and there, and amassed them around Durnovaria. Shall we claim that [BLEEP]y little town?
suleiman-mini.gif
Hey! Three extra points are three extra points! I have a feeling this one will be close!

suleiman098.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT! Score update?
foreign-mini.gif

Suryavarman: 4147
Suleiman: 4134
suleiman-mini.gif
YEAH!


Jan. 2045:

domestic-mini.gif
YAY! Norbert Rillieux has been born in Ankara!
suleiman-mini.gif
Have that Great Engineer sleep. Maybe we'll get another GP to start another Golden Age.

Suleiman dials the VP

hatty-mini.gif
Yes?
suleiman-mini.gif
I need me some money, and you're frikkin' rich! How much will you give me for Ecology?
hatty-mini.gif
Would 830 gold be enough?
suleiman-mini.gif
It'll have to do, Hatty. Thanks!

suleiman-mini.gif
Hot dang! Only ten turns left! Wish I could speed this up somehow...


Jan 2026:

domestic-mini.gif
YAY! Henry Bessemer has been born in Edirne!
suleiman-mini.gif
Another Great Engineer? Dang. No Golden Age then. Oh! I know. Have them bioth help research Robotics!
domestic-mini.gif
Why?
suleiman-mini.gif
That way, we'll have another Tech before end-game. And an extra Tech gives a few extra points. It's gonna be close, and we need every single little point we can milk out of this!
 
army-mini.gif
My dear Sultan!
suleiman-mini.gif
Yes?
army-mini.gif
Do you remember when you wished for something that could speed things up?
suleiman-mini.gif
My memory is bad, but it's not THAT bad. I just said that last turn.
army-mini.gif
Well, we just build an ICBM in Edirne...


Less than a second later:
suleiman099.jpg




suleiman-mini.gif
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAArk! It had been sooo long since I'd nuked anything! Awesome!



July 2046:

suleiman-mini.gif
Score?
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman: 4196, Suleiman: 4196!
suleiman-mini.gif
A tie, huh? ATTACK BIBRACTE!
army-mini.gif
Right away!

suleiman100.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
WOO! Man, nukes make taking Capitals so EASY! What's the score now?
foreign-mini.gif
Suleiman: 4223, Suryavarman: 4196
suleiman-mini.gif
We're in the lead! We're gonna win! WOO HOO!
army-mini.gif
It's a thin lead, my dear Sultan. We should take a tad bit more.
suleiman-mini.gif
I agree. Taking Bibracte was so easy, we can split our Stack in two: One goes to Vienne and liberates it, the other goes to Camulodunom and does the same!
 
Jan 2047:

suleiman-mini.gif
What the score be?
foreign-mini.gif
Suleiman: 4229, Suryavarman: 4203.
suleiman-mini.gif
Are we ready to take two more cities?
army-mini.gif
Affirmative.
suleiman-mini.gif
DO IT! :mwaha:

suleiman101.jpg


suleiman102.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
HE SHOOTS HE FRIKKIN' SCORES!! Speaking of Scores...
foreign-mini.gif
Suleiman: 4277, Suryavarman 4203!
domestic-mini.gif
And a generic Great General was born in Pusan!
suleiman-mini.gif
Make him build an Academy in Istanbul. Almost seems pointless now, but troops trained faster are in vogue, these days!
army-mini.gif
I concur.
suleiman-mini.gif
Well, girls. Congratulations. We did it. I really didn't think we could pull it off, quite frankly, but we'll get our well deserved Time Victory.
domestic-mini.gif
Although we cheated to get it.
suleiman-mini.gif
A minor detail.
foreign-mini.gif
Many wouldn't agree.
suleiman-mini.gif
If it doesn't involve using the World Builder, it's not really cheating, OK? I'm sure people reload all the time! Get real!
domestic-mini.gif
Because other people doing it suddenly makes it right.
suleiman-mini.gif
At the very least, it makes it less wrong. Although we'll win, it's by an uncomfortably thin margin. I say we seal the deal. Lemme call Boudica!
 
Suleiman dials

boudica-mini.gif
What do you want, you filthy [BLEEP]?
suleiman-mini.gif
As you can see, I'm totally gonna win this game. So you might just as well become my vassal.
boudica-mini.gif
I'm not becoming your Vassal, Suleiman. I can't. I'm still Churchill's master. So, [BLEEP] you!
suleiman-mini.gif
It can be one of the perks of being a Vassal, yes. But... I still don't get why you can't be my Vassal.
boudica-mini.gif
I can't be a Vassal while I still have a Vassal of my own. But now that I'm as weak as he is... When you press "return," he'll become a Free State, thanks to you.
suleiman-mini.gif
Oh, so if I ask you to be my vassal next turn, then you'll agree!
boudica-mini.gif
We'll see.
suleiman-mini.gif
Talk to you soon, toodles!


Suleiman presses "return" and...

foreign-mini.gif
Churchill becomes a Free State!
suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT!
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman and Isabella declare war on France!
suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT!
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman and Isabella declare war on Egypt!
suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT!
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman and Isabella declare war on Russia!
suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT!
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman and Isabella declare war on the Ottoman Empire!
suleiman-mini.gif
WOOT! Wait... what?
foreign-mini.gif
Finally, Boudica becomes Suryavarman's Vassal.
suleiman-mini.gif
What the [BLEEP]??
 
July 4047:

suleiman-mini.gif
What the [BLEEP] is going on here?
army-mini.gif
Suryavarman has nuked Lyons and made weak attacks on Vienne and Tolosa. We still safely hold those cities, of course.
suleiman-mini.gif
Not that, the other that!
foreign-mini.gif
Boudica became Suryavarman's Vassal, and so he was obligated to declare war with on all of her attackers.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]! But wouldn't that change the scores?
foreign-mini.gif
Yes, it would. The Score is now: Suryavarman 4381, Suleiman: 4284.
suleiman-mini.gif
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! [BLEEP]!
foreign-mini.gif
I understand.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP] the [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP] straight up his [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP]!
domestic-mini.gif
There, there. There, there.
suleiman-mini.gif
I was gonna win, Dangit! I was gonna win!
army-mini.gif
Maybe it's not too late...
suleiman-mini.gif
Is it? How many turns are left?
foreign-mini.gif
Five.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]! What the heck am I supposed to do in five [BLEEP]ing turns? HUH?
army-mini.gif
We have enough time to conquer one city for sure. Maybe even two. It'd be real close, though.
suleiman-mini.gif
Alright. So be it. I'm tired of reloading, anyways. Let's get this thing over with, no matter how humiliating it'll be to lose a frikkin' Time Game! Send our Stack towards that last Celtic city on the continent.



2048 AD:
foreign-mini.gif
I just thought of something, Manny-bear! Boudica may have become Suryavarman's Vassal, but Churchill didn't. What if...
suleiman-mini.gif
You're a genius, Sarila!!
 
Moments later...

winston-mini.gif
I said NO! Over my dead carcass!
suleiman-mini.gif
Come on, dude, be a sport!
winston-mini.gif
I FINALLY have FREEDOM, and I'll enjoy every turn of it!
suleiman-mini.gif
Four turns. We're talking four turns, pal.
winston-mini.gif
I'll take what I can get! I am most certainly not becoming anyone's vassal! No way! It's not going to happen.
suleiman-mini.gif
You're being a sore loser!
winston-mini.gif
Correction: you're being a sore loser. Suryavarman's going to win thanks to YOUR warmongering efforts, and you're having a fit over it. Well, grow up, chap! Be a man!
suleiman-mini.gif
Why you uppity little...
winston-mini.gif
You can't touch me! You don't have the time to come all the way over here and do something about it. That's what real freedom is, Suleiman! I can insult you, and you can't do anything about it! Ha! Ha!
suleiman-mini.gif
I can hang up, so there!


suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]! This is not going well. All of this wasn't part of the plan!


Jan. 2049:

army-mini.gif
We're ready to take Gergovia. It should only require a maximum of Five Modern Armors. We could send the rest towards KrongChaktomuk. That'd give us five Modern Armors to take it.
suleiman-mini.gif
Good idea. Send all available Destroyers to bomb it's defenses before we get there! We'll need every advantage!
army-mini.gif
And now... we've liberated Gergovia. Apparently, someone was too angry to take a screen shot of the event.
suleiman-mini.gif
Whatever, I don't even care anymore. This sucks.
 
July 2049: The Last Turn.

suleiman-mini.gif
What's the [BLEEP]ing score?
foreign-mini.gif
Suryavarman: 4387, Suleiman: 4346. I'm sorry.
suleiman-mini.gif
:sad:
army-mini.gif
Our Modern Armors have made it to KrongChaktomuk and are ready to attack. But there's a problem...
suleiman-mini.gif
Surprise, surprise.
army-mini.gif
Six of our Modern Armors can attack this turn, this last turn. However, even if they all attack twice and win... KrongChaktomuk will still have enough defenders to keep the city.
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]! So that's it, then? We've lost?
foreign-mini.gif
It appears so. I'm sorry.
suleiman-mini.gif
Then, let's make sure Suryavarman doesn't get to enjoy it. Is the ICMB we were building in Edirne ready?
army-mini.gif
Yes.
suleiman-mini.gif
Then, PRESS THAT RED BUTTON! Have fun enjoying THIS win, Suryavarman!

suleiman103.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
Well, I still have a chance if Churchill becomes my Vassal. Let's at least give it another shot...

Later...
gaulle-mini.gif
You're giving me Ecology just to make peace with Churchill? Certainly!

Later still...
winston-mini.gif
Peace? Certainly! And you're giving me Biology, too? Fantastic, old chap!
suleiman-mini.gif
Groovy! So, will you be my vassal?
winston-mini.gif
Not in a million years!
suleiman-mini.gif
[BLEEP]!!! Alright. I lost. Are you all happy, now? HUH? HUH?
 
Depressed, Suleiman presses "Return" for the last time...

suleiman-mini.gif
WTG, Suryavarman, you ugly [BLEEP]!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


suleiman104.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
What?
domestic-mini.gif
YAY!
foreign-mini.gif
Joy!
army-mini.gif
Well done!
suleiman-mini.gif
What the hell? I'm supposed to have lost here? Did the game shart?
army-mini.gif
It's the nuke on Ysodharapura, dearest Sultan! It damaged the Khmer Capital so heavily that Suryavarman instantly lost points when you pressed return!
suleiman-mini.gif
I WIN!!! I WIN!!! Well, cut my legs off and call me shorty!
army-mini.gif
As you wish!
suleiman-mini.gif
Just a figure of speech, Beste. Put the saw down, and walk away. Slowly.

suleiman105.jpg


suleiman106.jpg


suleiman107.jpg
 
Great story, great comeback, and what's a few reloads between friends? Thanks for taking the time to write it. :)
 
suleiman108.jpg


suleiman-mini.gif
Wow. Nero. My worst win of all time, all expansions included.
domestic-mini.gif
Well, a win is still a win.
suleiman-mini.gif
Once, I ranked as Louis XVI, and I hid in my bedroom for a week out of shame!





suleiman-mini.gif
So. Think you can do better? Honestly, it shouldn't be too hard. Just don't waste time building Space Ship parts like I did. Should help a lot, lol!
Hint: Should you plan on taking on De Gaulle, be ready to invariably lose Thebes, no matter how many units you put there. I just didn't want to lose Thebes, even if only temporarily. But it could be part of a better winning strategy to do so.

Yes. The Saved Game is added as an attachment.
It's from January 2020 (I think).

The score could definitely be improved if Boudica was betrayed sooner, for example. The options are limitless! ;)

Have fun! (If that's your bag)
 

Attachments

Oh!
About the save game.
I don't know if it matters, but I was in BTS (obviously) with patch up to 302 and Solver's Unofficial. I did not install patch 303.
Just in case it matters.
 
Back
Top Bottom