The lamest jokes you can think of....... II
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Gori the Grey
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Personally, I thought she was a gas.
But the woman after her was such a smooth operator, it's like I lost all awareness of the anesthetist.
I'm still trying to recover from her.
Fr8monkey
Deity
The US is a young country, still in its "Frat Boy" stage. In about 50 years we will settle down and get a family and a minivan...
230 years after the founding of Britain, they were killing pagans and tipping over their tipping over the neighbors trash cans.
That depends on how you define 'Britain'. 130 years after the reign of Æðelstān, first king of all England, Anglo-Saxon England had just been conquered by William of Normandy, after a long spell as one of the most well-run and prosperous countries in Europe, and 100 years later, was now entertaining the rule of Henry II, the first Angevin king, who ruled from an empire that stretched from Hadrian's Wall to the Pyrenees.
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Why would he do that? The armadillo is 'armless!
Mise
isle of lucy
Here are the top 10: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-28838287
"I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust" - Tim Vine.
"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set" - Masai Graham.
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.
"I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number ones and number twos" - Bec Hill.
"I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me" - Ria Lina.
"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal" - Paul F Taylor.
"Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying" - Scott Capurro.
"I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven" - Jason Cook.
"This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it" - Felicity Ward.
My fave is the fat badger
"I've decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust" - Tim Vine.
"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set" - Masai Graham.
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.
"I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number ones and number twos" - Bec Hill.
"I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me" - Ria Lina.
"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal" - Paul F Taylor.
"Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying" - Scott Capurro.
"I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven" - Jason Cook.
"This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it" - Felicity Ward.
My fave is the fat badger
This one is amazing.
(it was first posted in this forum by some other poster months ago 
).
Fr8monkey
Deity
Know why vodka is so clear?
Spoiler :
Fr8monkey
Deity
How is that racist...? Bit sensitive, me thinks!
Gori the Grey
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Tim Vine won the "best joke of the Edinburgh Fringe" with a gem worthy of this thread:
"I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."
I don't know whether to keep or discard my vacuum cleaner; it really sucks.
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