The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

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There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...

...and the sea cucumber turns to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?

Props to Finding Nemo

Lamest joke ever:
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!!!
 
Lamest joke ever:
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there? orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!!!
Man, that is lame. YOU STILL ME JOKE!!!
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-Banana.
-Banana who?
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-Banana.
-Banana who?
-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-Orange.
-Orange who?
-Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Heh heh? :mischief: :o
 
ok my turn:

a Pirate waks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bar tender says "it must be realy anoying to have that thing there" and the pirate replies: "Arrrr, it drives me nuts!"
 
ok my turn:

a Pirate waks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bar tender says "it must be realy anoying to have that thing there" and the pirate replies: "Arrrr, it drives me nuts!"
That's actually pretty good.
 
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: You can't wash a window with a spade.
 
A blonde is at the doctor:

Doctor : You're pregnant.

Blonde : Is it mine?
 
No offense to women and blonde:

Two blondes discussing:
"I had a pregnancy test yesterday...
"How were the questions?"

The difference between a women and a tornado?
None, they come hot and wet and leave with your car and your house...
 
Ok I dont have anywhere to copy+paste, (I heard this one) so here goes:

There are three blondes stuck on an island. They find a magic lamp and a genie grants them each one wish. First blonde asks to be 25% smarter. She turns into a brunet, swims half way to shore, then drowns. Second blonde asks to be 75% smarter. She turns into a red-head, swims 3 quarters to shore, but she also drowns. Last blonde asks to be 100% smarter. She turns into a man and walks across the bridge.
 
If that was not sexist enough, heres another:

Adam one day is walking around the garden of Eden, and is board. He likes the animals and unlimited food without work, but he is lonely. So one day, God says to Adam: "You seem lonely. I will send you a partner, but it wont be quite as great as you are. It will never be angry at you, always love you no matter what, and sacrifice itself for your every need. It will be a perfect partner for you, forever." Adam replies "oh, thats great. But what will it cost me?" God replies, "something that great will not be free. It will cost an arm and a leg." Adam replies, "aw, I cant spare that. What can I get for a rib?"
 
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