The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

[SS-18 ICBM]

Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"
"On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we're on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know – it makes me feel a whole lot better!"

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

In a sad way that's rather touching.

 

[holy king]

it's not lame either.
real joke from the thirties?

 

[Harbringer]

This ones been bugging me all day, what does it mean!

 

[NewWaver]

This ones been bugging me all day, what does it mean!

Sounds like the reverse version of the 12-inch pianist joke...

 

[againsttheflow]

Sounds like the reverse version of the 12-inch pianist joke...

I thought that but I still don't think I get it either.

..unless its really lame...

 

[holy king]

I thought that but I still don't think I get it either.

..unless its really lame...

he misheard. pianist. penis. lame joke.
a version was posted right above the comic.

 

[Onionsoilder]

Yeah. The guy wished for a 12-inch pianist so they could play his miniature piano. Instead, the genie gave him a 12-inch penis. The girl realized this, and hence asked "Are you doing anything later?"

 

[Huayna Capac357]

Ah. I understand.

 

[salty mud]

A 12 inch penis would probably repulse girls, not attract them.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Okay, to stop the spam, more Jewish humor.

At an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. At a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a Reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant. At a Reconstructionist wedding, the rabbi and her wife are both pregnant.

 

[Smartbluma]

Lame joke:

Why couldn't the cow produce any milk?

Because it was an udder failure.

 

[Dumanios]

Why is it bad to have Pokemon in the bathroom while your having a shower?

Because they Pikachu!

 

[eastsidebagel]

A dog pees at a bush while George Bush wanders on the sidewalk. The dog's owner says to his dog: "Now don't get confused."

 

[draggar]

I was going to start a web company selling pens. I even found a good domain for it but my wife slapped me when I showed it to her.

PenIsland.com

Fine, then I was going to start a company selling racing related Art, again, my wife didn't like my domain:

SpeedOfArt.com

She's never happy.

 

[jeps]

Okay, to stop the spam, more Jewish humor.

At an Orthodox wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant. At a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. At a Reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant. At a Reconstructionist wedding, the rabbi and her wife are both pregnant.

Not lame at all. Hilarious!

 

[uat2d]

Shouldn't you be offended?

 

[jeps]

Shouldn't you be offended?

No, its great. I don't get offended at jokes. only serious statements.

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

 

[eastsidebagel]

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.
Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three.
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read?"
Goldblum shuddered.
God went on, "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!"
Goldblum sighed with relief.
"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat. But really, serving Ham & Cheese Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?" Bauman hung his head in shame.
"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions."
Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.
Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying...'Closed for the Holidays!'."

 

[Mad Man]

Q.How do you stop a Irish tank?
A. You shoot the person pushing it from behind!