The Official Off-Topic Limerick Thread!

[CurtSibling]

Things are quite calm in the posting,
The new forum peace I am toasting,
But how long will it be,
Before insults fly free,
And our mods mete out a roasting!


I hope the boards will remain in the nice attitude they have just now.

 

[SirJethro]

(for background see earliest memory thread).

There was a young boy called SirJethro
Who ran over his mom in a Monte Carlo
He broke her poor leg,
But nothing was said,
If I'm not supposed to drive you should say so.

 

[CurtSibling]

If given half of a chance,
America will nuke Deutschland and France,
"Those Euros ain't playing!"
Poor Dubya was saying,
Leading the US a merry old dance!

 

[CurtSibling]

I might come as a bit of a scare,
The new peacenik is the Russian bear,
Something's really not right,
Ivan's usually up for a fight,
They might nuke us all, so beware!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Don't let the Soviets threat ya
Their crazy, but not out to get ya
So they won't have our back
Killing Muslims in Iraq
But if it was Chechnya, you bet ya!

 

[CurtSibling]

Oh, just ignore all my tootin',
I really like that guy Putin,
Plenty of US dough,
To Moscow will go,
Before Vlad does any shootin'!


Ho ho!

 

[Perfection]

There once was a man with big ears
Who's name was of wordwide jeers
He got puffy and mad
And threatened Bagdad
And lost respect of international peers

 

[Leonel]

Confessions of a Civ Player
By Leonel

There once was a Civilization 3
Which was once as cool as can be
But then SimCity 4
Made Civ 3 a bore
That it made Leonel go pee

It's so tragic!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

There once was a man from Tikrit
Who invaded Kuwait in a fit-
Slapped on the wrist for his aggression
It took another Bush, another recession
To finally land him in deep sh*t!

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a frat boy from Yale
Whose economic schemes did fail
When asked to explain
He confessed with some pain
"I copied my plan from Quayle."

 

[JollyRoger]

Has something gone wrong with my mind?
Or have my limerick skills declined?
My verse I'd pimp out
With Vanilla Mac Daddy clout
But now there's no bump in the grind

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Jolly Roger, no worries, you're shakin'
Your limerick style there's no mistakin'
You're an unthinking goon
Who'll have your own avatar soon
(Damn, how extremely long you've been takin'!)

-Imagine, four terms for ol' Reagan,
Sacrificing more Nicaraguans than a pagan,
With all regulations repealed
And as for the missile shield-
He'd have had time to convince Carl Sagan...

 

[JollyRoger]

Their once was an AG named John
Who worked for King George as a pawn
Like a master baiter
He called Ben Franklin a traitor
Then sliced the constitution to con.

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a Dick named Cheney
Who said to Dubya, his trainee,
"Now when the ecomomy gets stupid
From your trickle down Cupid
Piss on them and say 'Clinton made it rainy' "

 

[CurtSibling]

The once was was a man named Bill,
Whose antics caused the tabloids to fill,
With smut and rumours of cheech,
And poor Bill they failed to impeach,
The media now have a Bush to grill!

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Yes, Clinton, that southern whore,
Whom all of the world did adore,
Though here it was a spoof,
He gave the UN proof,
He was interested in making love, not war...

 

[SirJethro]

Originally posted by Sultan Bhargash
Yes, Clinton, that southern whore,
Whom all of the world did adore,
Though here it was a spoof,
He gave the UN proof,
He was interested in making love, not war...

But he didn't have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky
He used a cigar and left proof on her dress, see.
But ignore the dried ji**
That's not what "is is",
But I hear the office carpet was quite filthy.

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Originally posted by SirJethro

But he didn't have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky
He used a cigar and left proof on her dress, see.
But ignore the dried ji**
That's not what "is is",
But I hear the office carpet was quite filthy.

You are right back up to speed, Sir Jethro! The partisan response:

After Clinton made such a filthy mess,
Americans let Bush the white house bless,
He said "let's keep this place clean"
Ashcroft said;"I know what you mean,
That dirty statue is in need of a dress!"

 

[SirJethro]

Originally posted by Sultan Bhargash


You are right back up to speed, Sir Jethro! The partisan response:

After Clinton made such a filthy mess,
Americans let Bush the white house bless,
He said "let's keep this place clean"
Ashcroft said;"I know what you mean,
That dirty statue is in need of a dress!"

Ashcroft's blue curtain...our nation for a breast.
Redirecting our morals at the right wing's behest.
SB, you're quite tricky,
In your bid to subdue me,
You know I can't defend Ashcroft's mess.

 

[Sultan Bhargash]

Clinton and Bush are the same,
Extending their ego in our name,
They're supposed to protect us,
But they just misdirect us,
And then use each other to blame.