The Official Off-Topic Limerick Thread!

[Birdjaguar]

There once was an old limerick thread
In 2003 it was dead,
But Jolly Roger digs deep
With searches so sweet,
That rhymes are now filling my head.

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a boy who went Galt
Cut Ayn Rand as his main assault
Gave good Fountainhead
In thread after thread
Til post-adolescence he caught.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

For Russia I leave in the morning,
my first airplane I will be boarding,
scared as I am,
hand wet like clam,
after tickets, money I am not hoarding!

There once was a boy who went Galt
Cut Ayn Rand as his main assault
Gave good Fountainhead
In thread after thread
Til post-adolescence he caught.

Have my babies. Please.

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a wiz named Cheezy
Who's wild ideas made me queasy
Up I'd be knocked
And rightly mocked
For Palin around so easy

 

[aronnax]

Your parents had sex in your room
They did it twice that afternoon
They made love in your bed
She gave him a head
Your parents had sex in your room.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

There once was a boy from Singapore
who thought only about sex: hardcore
conspicuous parents
made numerous appearance
and by reusing his first line, he had more

 

[cardgame]

Nice necro, nicer limerick

The search bar is there for a reason
All year round not just holiday season
I wish people would give it a chance
Instead of simply a glance
My heart... it is freezin'

Religion
Superstition
They're one and the same
It's all just a game
That will end in attrition

 

[Bobbtjoe]

"color" not "colour"
you english *****
"shop" not "shoppe"
your head I will chop
if you say that once more

 

[aelf]

"color" not "coulor"

You utterly FAIL
Like a sinking whale;
Purely a noob,
Won't get a boob,
Because you'd have to bail.

 

[cardgame]

i love this thread

Antiestablishmentarianism
Will create a schism
between all the people
young and feeble
it will end in nihilism

I don't even know what i'm talking about here but meh

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a guy named Barack
On year 2 of an 8 year clock
Who made a big deal
With those on the hill
That pwned each deficit hock.

 

[Birdjaguar]

There once were two birds from Pont d'ain
Simone and Suzanne dans les mains
In bikinis, what a sight
I thought they just might
But the only English they knew was "We cant."


birds = girls in 1960s parlance.

 

[Perfection]

*byrds = girls in 1960s parlance.

No Byrd is a dead senator.

"Bird" on the other hand is pretty common slang for a woman.

 

[Atticus]

There was a super mod from Albuquerque
whose spelling was notably quirky
He received a correction
and answered with an infraction
ever since Perfection was known as "Lurky"

It's hard to write poetry in English I can't count English syllables, and am not sure do the words rhyme in the ears of a native speaker. Hope ante factum PDMA doesn't count

 

[Birdjaguar]

There was a super mod from Albuquerque
whose spelling was notably quirky
He received a correction
and answered with an infraction
ever since Perfection was known as "Lurky"

It's hard to write poetry in English I can't count English syllables, and am not sure do the words rhyme in the ears of a native speaker. Hope ante factum PDMA doesn't count

I cleaned it up for you:
There once was a mod from Albuquerque
Whose spelling was notably quirky
He received a correction
And "answered" Perfection
Who ever since has been known as "Lurky"

 

[Atticus]

Thank you!

 

[JollyRoger]

There once was a henhouse called Fox
Where memos laid out their 'llowed squawks
Anchor gals with blonde hair
Much like planes in the air
Came cockpitted with a black box