The Parso-Turkish Empire: Emperor Bosco's Debut

[Mr. Sulu]

Interesting writing style. Subbed

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

OT: You know something is screwed up when Portugal would rather capitulate than give you Divine Right in 1595.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

Welcome to another episode of the Parso-Turkish Empire! I think I’ve left you stewing long enough. Now to find out what happens to the royal family!

Or not…

First let us see what is going on outside the palace.

Garrison: The swordsmen will never make it in time!

Indian General: Spearmen, intercept the swordsmen!

[Bloody battle ensues]

Indian General: And now Persepolis is helpless! Except for the already considerable garrison inside…



Julius: We’d like some help against the Carthaginians.

Cyrus: Kind of busy right now, Julius.

: Cyrus can’t see you right now, Consul.



Minister of the Interior: Your Highness, Cyrus is not to be disturbed. I do, however, need to bring someone news that the Temple of Artemis is complete.

Darius: Good to know. Can you find someone to clean up these assassins’ corpses?

Minister of the Interior: Of course, Highness.



High Priest: Your Majesty, the shahanshah is dead. You are now Shahanshah.

Darius: I regret that he did not have the same military training I did to save himself. I shall make sure my son, Xerxes, is well instructed in the military.



Tiribazus: Sir, it seems the Egyptians have found a prophet in a young girl by the name of Joan.

Darius: Kill her when you take the city. You can take the city, right?

Tiribazus: Of course, sir.



Tiribazus: As I have promised, the city is ours, sir.

Darius: Good. Proceed with the capture of Egypt.



Axeman: You workers are now Persian!

Workers: Meh, okay.

Zara: Hi!

Darius: Uh, hi.



Darius: We’re really powerful and you’re not. Get my drift?

Zara: Yes I most certainly do, my lord.

Darius: Excellent.

Hammy: Lucky.



Rammy: This is all your fault, you little rat! Now I’ll be in the same position you are!

Hammy: No! Don’t worry! Asoka is on Persepolis’s doorstep!

Rammy: Why does that not make me feel better?

What an action-packed year! Too bad I haven’t discovered Calendar yet… Anyway, this has been another episode of the Parso-Turkish Empire. See you again!

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

New update coming soon! Got distracted by LoR and modding, then had computer issues. Just about done waiting for More Sluggish Than You...

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

Aaaand over a month later, the update arrives. Hello, everybody!

What better way to celebrate than with a GREAT GENERAL? He'll be joining Parsa to instruct the troops.



Soldier: My liege, the Indians are retreating!

Darius: Exxxxcelent... Prepare for a counterattack.

Soldier: Of course, majesty.



Immortal: General, the last bastion of Egypt is hardly defended!

Tiribazus: Wonderful. Crush it.



Tiribazus: Majesty, the Egyptians have been eradicated. Their Pharaoh awaits your judgment.

Darius: Eh, just do what we did with Hammy and let him rule under us, but over his old province.

: Now I must rely on Asoka to free me as well! Last time I listen to that Mesopotamian snake.



Zara: Can we have--

Darius: NO!

Zara: Okay...



Darius: Son, you will be in charge of the Northern Corps of the Army, responsible for taking the heathen city above us.

Xerxes: Yay! I gets to kill things now!

Darius: We'll have to train that annoying speech pattern out of him before he becomes Shahanshah... Kids these days...



Hannibal: Help us destrroy the foul Rromans!

Darius: You're Barca-ing up the wrong tree, Hannibal.

Hannibal: Rrrrrrr... Just wait until we invent the chainsaw...



Interior Advisor: Congrats, my king, you lord over two million souls!

Darius: But how many people?

Int. Adv.: Um... two million, sir...

Darius: Never mind.



Xerxes: Hey dad, we gots the city!

Darius: Yeah, great, okay... Go join General Tiribazus here in the capital and prepare to attack India.

Xerxes: You gots it!



Chief Wise Man: Lord, we have developed a way to keep track of the passage of large amounts of time.

Darius: About time. Start work on pretty stuff now.

Chief Wise Man: Of course. Um. Yeah, okay, I'll go do that then.

Darius: Yeah, do that.



So, does anyone even read this anymore? Let me know if you think the story should continue or not.

 

[Tambien]

I read it!

 

[trexeric]

I read it, thus it should continue.

 

[Tambien]

It should continue because we both read it.

 

[Bair_the_Normal]

I come back and see that it does indeed live. Today is a good day .

 

[trexeric]

See? Three people! Note that none of them are METY. I say you should revolt.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

Well, it's good that you guys care. I shall persevere. But I shall NEVER revolt against METY.

 

[Daedwartin]

Well, it's good that you guys care. I shall persevere. But I shall NEVER revolt against METY.

Heathen. METY's cult of personality shall never last! Tambienism is the way.

 

[Tambien]

May Tamb be ever in your favor!

 

[trexeric]

What has METY ever done for you, other than giving you a cookie of METY worshipping, and calling you one of his stalkers. Which is creepy. I am not trying to convert you to Trexericism, nor Tambism, but I just think you would be better off on your own. You no longer have any benefit, that is if you ever had a benefit, from staying under METY's rule. Oh, and I'm glad you decided to continue.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

There's no drawback either, though, so why bother converting away? Oh, wait, the Isabello-Montezuma doctrine:

-12 "We are upset that you have fallen under the sway of a heathen religion."

 

[Tambien]

The Shaka Doctrine

"Hey, I know we were best buds yesterday, but you see that insignifigant little city you own? Even though its far away, and is not useful in the least, I want it. Gimme!"

will be applied unless you convert.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

One wonders how...

 

[TehV15]

Nice story, are you still busy with it?

 

[Dumanios]

Update, pls.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

Patience, young one.