AWeeMoose
The Todd
Note: The opinions, comments, and statements posited in the following report do not reflect the opinions of the author towards PETA or animals. Animals are yummy, fun to cage, and keep you warm after being skinned to make a fur coat. PETA are crazy and should be dealt with in the manner demonstrated in an episode of South Park. Just kidding.
First, I'd like to thank my inspirations: The Celtic Peacekeepers by the legendary daftpanzer and the RBCiv reports by the demigods Sirian and Sulla/Sullla. If it weren't for these fellas, I'd never have considered taking the time and effort to make a story/report.
Basic Gameplay Settings
Continents
Temperate
Medium sea level
Random AI & user civs
Standard map size
Normal speed
Difficulty: Noble (I won my 1st and only game played on Prince, but due to expected handicaps, we're trying this on Noble.)
Limitations/Restrictions
1) No animals shall be exploited. That means no spaces with animal resources will be improved by workers, although citizens may work the land that animals share. No animal-based units built. We considered avoiding animal-related techs, but in order to understand your enemy, you must first understand how to exploit animals like him.
2) In war, our first priority is not to subjugate and exploit people (i.e. capture cities). Rather, it is to free the poor animals subjugated by the AI by any means necessary.
3) "Barbarian" animals will not be attacked. However, if they attack our units due to some unfortunate misunderstanding, we're not responsible to any injuries they inflict on themselves.
Expected Impact
1) Severe health, growth, and trading impediments. Minor military impact (no knights, war elephants, cavalry, etc.)
2) Expansion via warfare will be curtailed. If we have to locate and disconnect enemy animal resources, it will take up time and units that could have been better used to attack cities.
3) Not much, except that we might lose a few extra units if we can only defend.
Note, there will be a lot of screenshots to follow, many at 1024x768. Unfortunate dial-up users have been warned. Enjoy!
Game on!
We draw Isabella randomly. Mysticism actually fits well with PETA’s beliefs, since we're all into that mystic animal stuff. Fishing allows us to understand the enemy dietary advisor’s position that “it’s ok to eat fish, cause they don’t have any feelings.”
Our starting position. Oinky oinky! Pigs! That’s one less group of animals that others can make suffer! In other news, we’re on a river, surrounded by plenty of trees, so that should help a bit. Also, silk nearby. PETA can’t hear the screams of the carrots (and other plants) so it’s ok to exploit them. Of course, this is quite the Calendar Start™. Funny, the revealed land looks a lot like a horse. Serendipity, anybody?
The global view of our starting spot. No reason, just shows how little you can see at the start. The blackness…the blackness…
In 4000AD, we found our capital, Piggly Wiggly in honor of our porcine friends. We find that incense is just to the west, as is a barbarian hut, and the coast is to our south. Methinks we are in the northern hemisphere. Research begins on Meditation to snag Buddhism, the most animal-friendly, and only, religion offered by Meditation...
First, I'd like to thank my inspirations: The Celtic Peacekeepers by the legendary daftpanzer and the RBCiv reports by the demigods Sirian and Sulla/Sullla. If it weren't for these fellas, I'd never have considered taking the time and effort to make a story/report.
Basic Gameplay Settings
Continents
Temperate
Medium sea level
Random AI & user civs
Standard map size
Normal speed
Difficulty: Noble (I won my 1st and only game played on Prince, but due to expected handicaps, we're trying this on Noble.)
Limitations/Restrictions
1) No animals shall be exploited. That means no spaces with animal resources will be improved by workers, although citizens may work the land that animals share. No animal-based units built. We considered avoiding animal-related techs, but in order to understand your enemy, you must first understand how to exploit animals like him.
2) In war, our first priority is not to subjugate and exploit people (i.e. capture cities). Rather, it is to free the poor animals subjugated by the AI by any means necessary.
3) "Barbarian" animals will not be attacked. However, if they attack our units due to some unfortunate misunderstanding, we're not responsible to any injuries they inflict on themselves.
Expected Impact
1) Severe health, growth, and trading impediments. Minor military impact (no knights, war elephants, cavalry, etc.)
2) Expansion via warfare will be curtailed. If we have to locate and disconnect enemy animal resources, it will take up time and units that could have been better used to attack cities.
3) Not much, except that we might lose a few extra units if we can only defend.
Note, there will be a lot of screenshots to follow, many at 1024x768. Unfortunate dial-up users have been warned. Enjoy!
Game on!
We draw Isabella randomly. Mysticism actually fits well with PETA’s beliefs, since we're all into that mystic animal stuff. Fishing allows us to understand the enemy dietary advisor’s position that “it’s ok to eat fish, cause they don’t have any feelings.”
Our starting position. Oinky oinky! Pigs! That’s one less group of animals that others can make suffer! In other news, we’re on a river, surrounded by plenty of trees, so that should help a bit. Also, silk nearby. PETA can’t hear the screams of the carrots (and other plants) so it’s ok to exploit them. Of course, this is quite the Calendar Start™. Funny, the revealed land looks a lot like a horse. Serendipity, anybody?
The global view of our starting spot. No reason, just shows how little you can see at the start. The blackness…the blackness…
In 4000AD, we found our capital, Piggly Wiggly in honor of our porcine friends. We find that incense is just to the west, as is a barbarian hut, and the coast is to our south. Methinks we are in the northern hemisphere. Research begins on Meditation to snag Buddhism, the most animal-friendly, and only, religion offered by Meditation...
- you're not intending to exploit the nice cuddly silk worms are you? Though granted they do not scream very loudly.
, well have to get Theology or Divine Right first.
Right afterwards, Heya Kolchak, err, Heyo Cape, ugh, umm, err, ahh, Huayna Capac sez Yo! 
Yeah, so, the unguarded cities are, umm, "tactically unoccupied." 
