new flash from the sunny country!
following some words exchanged between our most neutral selves and the OffShore Holding Company, our once warm relations have turned sour.
now, one might think that lemons would work nicely both in a paea or margarita, but his royal highness would liek to assure all the nations of the world that Haggis DOES NOT LIKE LEMON!
recent events have begun to unfold when the glorious transport fleet, enroute back to our safe waters, have been converged upon by Evil Pirates, with a tragic loss of 500 barrels of the finest wodka sweden can produce. a stray transport has also been lost:
while more have been found, this time of the great big MoWs, off the tiny recon frigate flotilla guarding the entrance to the Bay of MeatBalls - WHILE IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS!!!
alarmed by such news, and the apparent "missing" tarnsports, we have urgently ordered a survey of our TERRITORIAL WATERS...
lo and behold - the evil of the west has set foot upon our noble seaside city of Corunna
now, the peoples of spain are alarmed and shocked!
betrayal?
could it be?
HAD WE NOT GUARENTEED OUR NEUTARILTY OVER TIME?
if you prick us, do we not bleed?
enraged but such blatant disregard for our rights, both as people and soverigns, the king orders an immediate call to arms!
those crazy limes cannot mean well!
see our south being invaded by the dread pirate roberts!
see our flocks scatter to the winds!
see how they have chosen to disrupt and damage our FIELDS OF WHEAT, which - this season only, PRODUCED BEER FOR THE GERMAN MARKETS!!!!
enraged but these actions, his highness has ordered a day of peaceful meditation, in which to contemplate the horrors the dreams of the unimaginative ones shall have in the next millenia!
meanwhile his genrals urged him:
we must strike fear into our enemies!
are we not Noble Spaniards, or lowly island hoppers?
do we not have our glorious Cervantes to their meaningless sheik sapir? who is KNOWN in cultured society to have been an ARAB!
we must strike first and hard, and our military shall win with the right of the almighty on our side!
and so:
WAR IS DECLARED ON BRITAIN
we attack with our mighty troops, killing a few infantry invaders, gathering up booty.
our forces get ready to pounce on Gibraltar.
we call upon on nations of free loving people, COME TO OUR AID!
in the name of neutral banking, free beer, and hot women,
DECLARE WAR UPON THE FOES OF MANKIND,
make war at sea, and land and even the airs and clouds, upon the scots!
DEATH TO THE BACKSTABBERS!!!!
LOOT AND BOOTY SHALL BE GIVEN FREELY TO ANY WHO JOIN OUR JUST CAUSE.
to the british!
we have been forced by your actions to declare a war NOT of our choosing.
leave NOW, and give us control over Gibraltar and the Portugese holdings, and we will sign peace!
LEAVE NOW!!!!
meanwhile, in sweden, we keep our unnamed city, kill a swedish cavaly and a swede grunt with no loss.
* brits lose 2 foot soldiers, we lose a cav and a soldado.