The rough timescale of history for you

[RedRalph]

Dachs, don't read past this post, it'll kill you

What is the rough list of historical events/eras you have in your head? Mine is extremely simplistic and Europecentric;

Greece>Rome>East and West Rome>Barbarians, Muslims and Vikings>Mongolians. Terrifying Mongolians>EU3 and so on. Ottomans, Austrians and the Rennaiscance>The Reformation, America discovered and bye bye Japan>Napoleon>Industrial Revolution>WW1>WW2>Cold War>Nowadays

Obviously I'm aware that excludes a huge amount. But in your head, what are the landmarks of history that you use as a rough guide?

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Pre-Rome, Rome, West and East Rome, Dark Ages, Medieval Ages, Renaissance, Colonisation, Napoleonic Wars (and more colonisation), WWI, WWII, now.

Mines a more European history than anything, but I've always been more interested in European history than anywhere else.

 

[Ajidica]

Given I know effectively nothing about history outside of Europe, here is my attempt:

Early States->Hellenism->Roman Expansion->"Where did the Roman Empire Go?"-->Arab Expansion-->Carolingian Age-->Norman Age-->Angevians-->Mongols-->Reformation, Heresies, Persecutions, and Wars-->Empires and Revolution-->"Whoops! That war wasn't intentional. Yay, peac- Oh wait, another war."-->Information Age

 

[Dachs]

Dachs, don't read past this post, it'll kill you

man

why you gotta assume im always dead serious man

 

[RedRalph]

man

why you gotta assume im always dead serious man

Because you're always dead serious

 

[Dachs]

Because you're always dead serious

you're makin my feelings man

 

[RedRalph]

you're makin my feelings man

Hztry and feelinz be srz bznz

 

[Huayna Capac357]

I don't want to be that guy, but this is totally impossible. You have to ignore 90+% of the world if you want it to be coherent, no matter which region you fix it to.

But since you asked, here's a Sinocentric one.

~2500 BCE - ~1600 BCE: ?
~1600 BCE - ~1000 BCE: Bronze Age
~1000 BCE - ~600 BCE: Early Iron Age
~600 BCE - 221 BCE: Hundred Schools of Thought/Warring States
221 BCE - 206 BCE: Qin Dynasty
206 BCE - 220 CE: Han Dynasty
220 CE - 420: Post-Han Ancient
420 - 581: Northern and Southern Dynasties
581 - 907: Early Medieval (Sui, Tang, Second Zhou, Tang Again)
907 - 1279: High Medieval (Pre-Song Confusion, Song, Liao)
1279 - 1368: Mongols
1368 - ~1800: Ming, Qing pre-Colonialism/stagnation
~1800 - 1911: Late Qing
1911 - 1949: Revolution, Republic, Chaos, Civil War, Japanese Invasion
1949 - 1976: Maoism
1976 - ?: Move to capitalism, (relative) prosperity, the modern age, whatever

 

[sophie]

I don't want to be that guy, but this is totally impossible. You have to ignore 90+% of the world if you want it to be coherent, no matter which region you fix it to.

That's why periodization is a highly relative (and rather often conflicted) part of history.

 

[Dachs]

just wanna say that it was owain who posted that, not me

again

 

[sophie]

just wanna say that it was owain who posted that, not me

again

You trained me well, Dachs :3.

Anyway, that's enough srsbzns for me. Bring on the other silly periodizations!

 

[History_Buff]

Will avoid dates. Will not repeat China/India/Japan type stuff. Follows classical European narrative. I find it impossible not to really, given combination of HC357's reason, and benefit of hindsight.

• Agricultural revolution. History begins.
• Sumeria, Ancient Egypt, Babylon, Assyria, Phoenicia, other Mesopotamian types. China off doing it's own thing.
  
• Ancient Persia. Notable states forming and fading in India.
  
• Ancient Greece.
  
• Ancient Rome.
  
• Late Republican Rome, the Roman Empire. Volkerwanderung starts to get going. Yamato Japan begins somewhere in here.
• Roman authority in the west gone. Franks carving out new powers in the dust. Muslim/Arab expansion is a really big deal.
• Holy Roman Empire (including France and Lotharingia in this sense) comes into being. Muslims press on into Spain, India, East Africa, SE Asia.
• Feudal Europe. Vikings! Muslim golden age. Japanese shogunate powerful. China probably still undergoing 4 thousand year civil war.
• Oh holy crap Mongols. Muslim society rocked. Europeans largely spared, and their star begins to rise. Black plague! Qing dynasty probably calling the shots in China by now.
• Ottoman Empire finishes off the ERE. Europeans seeks new route to India, spearheaded by Portugal. Japan descends into Sengoku period.
• Beginnings of European colonialism. Mostly just the Spanish and Portuguese at this point. Conquests of Aztec, Inca, etc. Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth pretty big deal in eastern Europe. Ottomans push up into Balkans, Hungary. Mughals begin push into northern India.
• Renaissance. Protestant Reformation. Age of absolutism in western Europe. England experiences multiple civil wars, as does France. Spain enters decline-bankruptcy cycle. United Provinces break free, seize many a Portuguese colony. 30 years war exhausts central European powers. Pol-Lit starting to falter under internal pressure. Muscovy has united the Russias, and beginning to expand eastward.
• Modern Western Great Powers emerge. England and France battle for dominance in North America and India. France looks to be winning, but England eventually comes out on top owing to naval (and commercial) superiority, and better finances. Austria and Prussia begin their dance for German superiority; Austria still very much ahead. Both work with Russia to carve up Russia, who having broken the Khanates, now begins to look West.
• American Revolution. Mughals collapse; Britain fills the void, having beaten the French in India. Austria-Prussian feuds rolls on. Poland gone. Ottomans now clearly in decline. Russia continues to grow. Spain and Portugal no longer geopolitical players. French Revolution.
• Napoleon runs amok in Europe. British eventually beats them back using Russo-Austro-Prussian manpower. Prussia acquires Rhineland, which will eventually enable her to emerge victorious in Germany. Austria in decline. Liberal Revolutions scare the crap out of everyone in Europe. Russia now effectively as modern as her European peers.
• Industrial Revolution in full swing. Britain continues to color the world pink, including subjugation of India. Russian autocracy starting to show it's cracks. Scramble for Africa, but 'Great Game' is in full swing. Prussian ascendency in Germany. Japan modernizes. China eyed greedily by Europowers and Japan. Nationalism begins to stir the European pot, particularly in the remainder of the Ottoman Empire, though she is propped up by Britain and France for the time being.
• Dawn of the 20th century. Great European Empires now basically complete, begin forming alliance blocks to counter each other. WWI mucks everyone up. Britain and France reap the spoils, while Russia's autocrats replaced with more ruthless and effective autocrats. Germany humbled. Austria and Ottoman Empires disintegrate. Despite good advice from many statesmen, Versailles Peace fails to build integrated European economy, thus all that happened before must happen again. Japan can't get no satisfaction. Beginnings of modern welfare state in Europe.
• WWII. Germany almost disassembled, then rebuilt/subjugated. Similar story for Japan. USA and USSR big frakking deals. China united and strongly administered for first time in millennial, perhaps ever. Nationalism begins to tear apart British and French empires. What doesn't demand separation will eventually be spun off during Cold War, as British and French tire of losing money there. USA, USSR, much later China move into fill gap. MAD ensures relative world peace. Former colonial possessions and puppets try to settle old grudges. Second world countries start to modernized. Communications revolution begins to sweep world.
• Cold war ends. USSR shrinks, USA and China posture, but too economically intertwined to repeat the great showdowns of the past. Integrated economy ensures peace in Western-Central-Eastern Europe, and to lesser extent, rest of the world. Second World countries basically on par with former First World. Third World looks to repeat the process.

 

[ParkCungHee]

Mesopotamia, Worship of Tiamat, Dagon, other Great Old Ones, Greece, Rome, Great Corean Empire, ARRIVAL OF ST. PATRICK, GAELS COLONIZE SCOTLAND, Dark Ages, Charlemagne, Brian Boru Normans invade Britain, Normans invade Ireland, Scots invade Ireland, English Re-invade Ireland, Henry VIII, The Reformation, THE REIGN OF HUGH O'NEIL, Cromwell, American Revolution, French Revolution, Potato Famine and Uprisings, the War on Traitors, the Meiji Restoration, Bismarck, WWI, Only time Ireland is interesting in the last 400 years, Rise of interesting tyrants, WWII, Korean War, Cold War, Park Chung Hee, More Cold War, the era of me.

 

[Tee Kay]

Periodisation is extremely relative, though in my head I roughly divide world history into seven Euro/Eurasia-centric eras:

"Prehistoric" - anything before roughly 10000 BC, otherwise known in my head as the "pre-agricultural" era
"Ancient" - anything between roughly 4000 BC (Civ FTW) and 1000 BC, the "pre-Iron" era, distinguished by the rise of the first states, organised religion, spread of agriculture, spread of metal working, beginning of written records.
"Classical" - between roughly 1000 BC to AD 500, including the Iron Age, distinguished by the formation of larger empires, spread of literacy, development of world religions
"Medieval" - between roughly AD 500 (fall of the "Classical" states, change in state organisation, nomadic empires dominating central Eurasia) to roughly 1500 (decline of the last of the nomadic empires, rise of the Gunpowder Empires in Islam, beginning of the "Age of Discovery" period in Europe).
"Early Modern" or "Renaissance" - between roughly AD 1500 to roughly AD 1800, marked by European maritime ascendency, early development of the nation state, increasing role of gunpowder weapons
"Industrial" - between roughly AD 1800 to roughly AD 2000, the first half also known as "the age of steam" and the second half "the age of oil". Marked by European and later American political, cultural and economic supremacy, industrialisation, rapid technological change, globalisation, mass media, mass politics
"Digital" - the current era

 

[LightSpectra]

Mesopotamia, Worship of Tiamat, Dagon, other Great Old Ones, Greece, Rome, Great Corean Empire, ARRIVAL OF ST. PATRICK, GAELS COLONIZE SCOTLAND, Dark Ages, Charlemagne, Brian Boru Normans invade Britain, Normans invade Ireland, Scots invade Ireland, English Re-invade Ireland, Henry VIII, The Reformation, THE REIGN OF HUGH O'NEIL, Cromwell, American Revolution, French Revolution, Potato Famine and Uprisings, the War on Traitors, the Meiji Restoration, Bismarck, WWI, Only time Ireland is interesting in the last 400 years, Rise of interesting tyrants, WWII, Korean War, Cold War, Park Chung Hee, More Cold War, the era of me.

I whole-heartedly endorse this.

 

[ParkCungHee]

I thought the Austrians would fill up a good chunk of your timeline.
And 400 to 1500 would be "Time spent debating the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin."

 

[Plotinus]

And 400 to 1500 would be "Time spent debating the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin."

No-one ever really debated that - but I'm sure you know that.

My answer:

antiquity -> late antiquity -> Middle Ages -> early modernity -> uninteresting things -> T-Bone Walker

 

[ParkCungHee]

No-one ever really debated that - but I'm sure you know that.

I've heard a lot of conflicting things about that, actually, so I wouldn't mind the definitive answer.

 

[Louis XXIV]

I go with a relatively western civ oriented timeline. I'm also skipping anything pre-neolithic. Also, I pretty much start with a central point and radiate outward, so I'll skip many events that would certainly be included in a history book (like the entire Old Kingdom). I'm also not bothering with dates because, in addition to being extremely uncertain, are a pain in the ass to look up.

1. First settlements in Mesopotamia. Jericho founded. Discovery of agriculture.
2. Sumerian Civilization. Sargon of Akkad's conquest. Third Dynasty of Ur.
3. Hammurabi and the first Babylonian Empire.
4. The Egyptian New Kingdom formed. Sea Peoples raid Mesopotamia. Battle of Kadesh. Egyptian "Empire."
5. Mesopotamian Dark Ages, collapse of the Hittite Empire.
6. Iron Age. Rise of the Neo-Assyrian Empire. Aramaeic peoples settle in Mesopotamia.
7. Fall of the Assyrian Empire. Rise of the Neo-Babylonian Empire. Babylonian Captivity.
8. Fall of Babylon. Rise of the Persian Empire.
9. Ionian City States rebel. Battle of Marathon. Battle of Pleatea. Formation of the Delian League.
10. Peloponnesian Wars. Fall of Athens, Rise and fall of Sparta and Thebes. Macedonian conquest of Greece.
11. Alexander the Great Conquers Persia. Formation of the Diodichi.
12. Pyrrhus of Epirus invades Italy. Alliance between Rome and Carthage.
13. First Punic War.
14. Second Punic War. Roman conquest of Spain and Illyria. Conquest of Greece. Third Punic War.
15. Marian and Sulla. Rise of the First Triumvirate. Julius Caesar conquers Gaul. Assassination of Caesar. Triumph of Augustus.

I'm stopping there. As you can see, my condensed timeline isn't very condensed. The political developments of the Empire. The Rise and Spread of Christianity. The administrative split and establishment of Constantinople, etc. would all be on my list and I wouldn't even have come close to reaching Charlemagne. Since I don't want about 1000 things, I'll just give up. History can't be easily condensed.

A quick and dirty version would be:

Neolithic --> Bronze --> Assyrian --> Persian --> Greek --> Roman Republic --> Roman Empire --> So-called Dark Ages and Carolingian Renaissance --> High Middle Ages --> Renaissance and Reformation --> Colonial period --> Revolutionary period --> Concert of Europe --> Age of Nationalism and Imperialism --> World Wars --> Cold War --> Age of Globalism

 

[LightSpectra]

I've heard a lot of conflicting things about that, actually, so I wouldn't mind the definitive answer.

The "angels on a pin" joke is the medieval equivalent of Schrödinger's Cat, except that instead of revealing a paradox in the contemporary thinking which either had to be accepted or resolved, it simply revealed that the person who came up with it didn't understand Peripatetic metaphysics (alternatively, it was a satirical strawman that a Peripatetic invented against his opponents). It wasn't so much a debate as an anecdote that professors used in the middle of a lecture.