The Rules of Being a Man

[Irish Caesar]

So wrong...So very wrong.

Paying the tab sends the signal, Im so happy you give me the chance to go out with you, Ill pay for anything...what do you want a diamond Ring? Ow please let me give it to you....please and then please like me and have sex with me...oooow please....Ill even give you a BMW

Its not Alpha male at all, Its As Beta as it gets.

Not paying the tab says; I dont have to do you any favors that you get the chance to get to go out with me is favor enough.

I guess its the next level of Alpha Maleness some of you just didnt reach yet, no hard feelings

Im not saying you should never pay, you just pay once, she the next time. You dont need to give a girl anything extra then just going out with you.

Cheap bastard.

Which is not a "manly" quality.

 

[Xanikk999]

Cheap bastard.

Which is not a "manly" quality.

Well then get ready to be taken advantage of by women. Im still INexperienced but i sure as hell know women will do this.

 

[Irish Caesar]

A real man does not get "taken advantage of" by women. However, to assert that not paying for the dinner (or even attempting to) makes you a man is foolish.

 

[Dann]

Well then get ready to be taken advantage of by women. Im still INexperienced but i sure as hell know women will do this.

Not only women, but cheapskates like you and Brighteye too. But real men don't care. It goes with the territory. We shell out unnecessarily (and not just for meals but also for girlie bars, sauna parlours and other decadence) not because we like it, but because it's 1) expected of us, 2) part of showing off, 3) a strategic investment (for purposes of cultivating guanxi).

Have you heard of the concept of "With Nobility comes Responsibility?" Well this is something like that. Sure we'll occasionally get screwed for a meal by cheap bastards (women don't count) but real men don't care. That's just peanuts. We can easily afford the loss. Don't expect to do business with us though.

 

[Winston Khan]

real men don't care. It goes with the territory. We shell out unnecessarily (and not just for meals but also for girlie bars, sauna parlours and other decadence) not because we like it, but because it's 1) expected of us, 2) part of showing off, 3) a strategic investment (for purposes of cultivating guanxi).

We can easily afford the loss.

I concur with the above. Although I will correct it properly for sake of 'The Rules' - Money

Real men dont care, money is your territory. Shell out at every unnecessary opportunity, especially when there is a woman present, even taking her to the girlie bar and massage parlour, because we like it and she should do what she is told.

Does it not really show that man is flippant with money because money is not really important in life. What matters is the way in which you choose to use your cash, buying a power boat or helicopter (for example!) Buying some food or a stripper aint gonna cost you the earth anyway.

 

[AceChilla]

Cheap bastard.

Which is not a "manly" quality.

Being cheap would be to let the girl always pay for everything. Im talking about a 50/50 deal here. Thats just being fair.

Always paying for a woman actually tells a woman, I pay money to be with you. Im so glad to be with you I will even pay you for your company, in other words Im a little desperate, I know you wouldn't enjoy my company otherwise so accept this gift as as something to make up for my boredom.

It sends another message too. In exchange for this money I expect something back....sex for instance.

And that is as unmanly as it gets, because a real man know he will have woman wanting to be with him wheter he pays or not. Because of his qualities as a man, not because of his money.

 

[Winston Khan]

Im a little desperate.... Blah.... I know you wouldn't enjoy my company otherwise so accept this gift as as something to make up for my boredom....blah.....I expect something back.....blah.....sex for instance. And that is as unmanly as it gets, because a real man know he will have woman wanting to be with him wheter he pays or not. Because of his qualities as a man, not because of his money.

Ace, get a grip on it! My guess is you've been too soft with the girls Whichever is bigger, get it out; wallet or manhood. Either way the female will love it, if not find one that will take both. Its just easier. Any good woman will respect more of your qualities if you ram them down her throat.... After all; they are qualities.

 

[Atlas14]

Is it manly to eat grilled cheese sandwiches? I've been eating a lot lately.

 

[AceChilla]

Ace, get a grip on it! My guess is you've been too soft with the girls Whichever is bigger, get it out; wallet or manhood. Either way the female will love it, if not find one that will take both. Its just easier. Any good woman will respect more of your qualities if you ram them down her throat.... After all; they are qualities.

Actually I dont have any problem with finding girls whatsoever. I've been with many and have a lovely girlfriend at the moment. And the fact that Im not prepared to pay for any girls whim should prove the point im not to soft on them.

And No, woman do not respect a man because he can pay for them. They might have sex with a man who can pay for them, but they wont respect you as a man for that. That takes other characteristics.

But if your really desperate for sex, I would say give them a diamond ring.

And dont mess with someones quotes.

 

[Markus6]

Ace, get a grip on it! My guess is you've been too soft with the girls

After almost finishing a full post bashing AceChilla I actually read what he wrote and agree with him.

Guys pay for the first date. We ask the girl out and we choose the restaurant. Paying is the gentleman's way of making sure she doesn't pay to have a rubbish time (which she won't of course, but that's irrelevant). From then on she knows what she's getting into when she agrees to a date so you no longer have to pay to insure against her having a bad time. From then on it should be 50-50 unless it's easier for you to pay. Always be quick with the wallet but don't let her drain it. Money is not a quality, plenty of guys just get their money from their Dads, they are very good at flashing it around but they are not real men. Girls will only be with them for one thing. Real men don't pay for girls.

 

[Winston Khan]

Actually I dont have any problem with finding girls whatsoever. I've been with many and have a lovely girlfriend at the moment. And the fact that Im not prepared to pay for any girls whim should prove the point im not to soft on them.

And No, woman do not respect a man because he can pay for them. They might have sex with a man who can pay for them, but they wont respect you as a man for that. That takes other characteristics.

Glad you dont have problems finding the fairer sex. And if you are that efeminate you have to get a girl to pay for you, you aint no man in my book. Are we discussing how to be a man with money or how to get a woman to fall for you? I think the two are linked but not in the way we are now discussing. You are bringing the 'Going Dutch' into this one, that can't be right when being the dominant species.

The woman must respect the man at all times, otherwise the woman doesn't deserve to be with the man. The more we show her how rich we are, (culturally...blah..., spiritually...blah...) and financially, the better she understands what her value is!

 

[AceChilla]

Glad you dont have problems finding the fairer sex. And if you are that efeminate you have to get a girl to pay for you, you aint no man in my book. Are we discussing how to be a man with money or how to get a woman to fall for you? I think the two are linked but not in the way we are now discussing. You are bringing the 'Going Dutch' into this one, that can't be right when being the dominant species.

The woman must respect the man at all times, otherwise the woman doesn't deserve to be with the man. The more we show her how rich we are, (culturally...blah..., spiritually...blah...) and financially, the better she understands what her value is!

Dont you stop picking up those tabs mate, show them what a man you are, Im sure they love it

You want to show a girl your value? Your value is so high you dont need to resort to bribe a girl to be with you, atleast thats how it should be.

 

[Markus6]

And if you are that efeminate you have to get a girl to pay for you, you aint no man in my book.

I don't think he's getting her to pay for him. He's talking paying your share.

when being the dominant species.

This maybe your problem. Women are not a different species to us. If you haven't noticed nowadays women have their own jobs and their own money. We no longer have to provide everything for them. Unless you want to go for a girl with no intelligence or motivation?

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

This is the 3rd time I've asked for this. I know you Europeans feel Americans don't use the proper venacular for the word "football" but let's face it us Americans are a peculiar variety of real men. We like football too.

Can we just say real men simply like football? I'd really like to get that rule amended.

I would agree that 'football' ensures real man status. 'Football' being either the UK, US or OZ definition. In fact, IMHO, playing Aussie Rules Football definately grants 'Real Man' status since it's bloody brutal. No coincidence really that only Aussies play it.

regarding the watching sports section:

* is it ok for a manly man to be the occasional sports fan only?
as in "watch FOOTball, only during premier league and world cup", or enjoy a nice tourney of snooker on eurosport?

I completely agree. A real man should take an avid interest in a Sport if a Major Tournament. This is true even if this is the only time the real man watches the sport at all.

Works for me. World Series of poker too.
<Snip>
"Real men are not cheapskates".

Perhaps a whole new rule regarding the 'Real Man' participation of Poker and his behaviour whilst so doing?

 

[JoeM]

So wrong...So very wrong.

Paying the tab sends the signal, Im so happy you give me the chance to go out with you, Ill pay for anything...what do you want a diamond Ring? Ow please let me give it to you....please and then please like me and have sex with me...oooow please....Ill even give you a BMW

Its not Alpha male at all, Its As Beta as it gets.

Not paying the tab says; I dont have to do you any favors that you get the chance to get to go out with me is favor enough.

I guess its the next level of Alpha Maleness some of you just didnt reach yet, no hard feelings

Oh you poor, confused soul. If you are at the table in the deranged psychological battle you describe above, you're probably about to shot in cold blood by a real man and have your woman stolen anyway.

If by some crazy chance Real Man(TM) has ended up taking a psycho chick* to dinner he should follow this procedure:

1) Pretend to engage her in conversation, then as soon as possible (before she moves on to the subject of your future mother in law) excuse yourself
2) 'Bump into' the maitre d'** and slip him the covering money for the meal, plus tip
3) Escape via the kitchen, conveniently located next to the Mens and head for the casino

Caddish behaviour? Perhaps, but in emergencies everyone needs an escape route.

Regarding step 2. How are the restauranteurs going to maintain respect for you if you leave the lady to pay for herself? We all encounter these scenarios, but there has to be some measure of decorum, or where would we be? Think of your standing if they watch you suffer her the entire evening!



*Any female not understanding that we adhere to the aforementioned rules

**If you happen to belong to the Jack Palance School of Real Men(TM) this is probably a bar, in which case it's okay to put it on your tab with a wink to the barman, or maybe even a campfire in which case you have to grin and bear it.

***If you are in the same league as Don Corleone, you will have realised before making the offer of dinner or taken her somewhere that you don't usually frequent. Either way, they won't charge you anyway, solving the original problem in this sub-thread.

 

[JoeM]

Always paying for a woman actually tells a woman, I pay money to be with you.

It sends another message too. In exchange for this money I expect something back....sex for instance.

Ah, all becomes clear - you were raised by feminists.

 

[JoeM]

Perhaps a whole new rule regarding the 'Real Man' participation of Poker and his behaviour whilst so doing?

Rule for Gambling on the whole I would suggest;
1) Never, ever celebrate your successes
2) Never, ever display disappointment. The merest hint of teeth grinding is allowed if a truly monumental loss has occured, e.g. member of family, the entire planet, or, heaven forbid, your pride.
3) Never cheat
4) Only shoot first if your oponent is a bounty-hunter

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

Rule for Gambling on the whole I would suggest;
1) Never, ever celebrate your successes
2) Never, ever display disappointment. The merest hint of teeth grinding is allowed if a truly monumental loss has occured, e.g. member of family, the entire planet, or, heaven forbid, your pride.
3) Never cheat
4) Only shoot first if your oponent is a bounty-hunter

I agree with your suggestions. Is there a minimum level of stakes at which a Real Man would play? I would have thought that a Real Man wouldn't waste his time playing for 'chump change'.

 

[Bartleby]

I agree with your suggestions. Is there a minimum level of stakes at which a Real Man would play? I would have thought that a Real Man wouldn't waste his time playing for 'chump change'.

If you have to ask, I'm afraid the minimum is too high for you.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

If you have to ask, I'm afraid the minimum is too high for you.

So a 'Real Man' would participate in a game of Poker playing with Coppers*?

*As we did in our uni days