Quasar1011
King of Sylvania
Okay, you'd best spell "peak" correctly as "peek", before someone points out that "peak" can also mean "climax".Rambuchan said:
The Rules of Being a Man
- Thread starter Rambuchan
- Start date
I must disagree with rules 7 and 24.
Rule 7: I will never, ever "moisturize". If my skin feels like sandpaper, tough cookies. It's ivory soap, Barbasol shaving cream (or the Ivory soap if I am out of shaving cream), and Suave shampoo (again, Ivory soap if out of Suave).
Rule 24: Chick flicks are okay. Lambast me for this one if you like, but as long as you don't cry at them, it's all good.
Oh, that crying thing. I want to add that it is okay to cry at cartoon movies (like when the mama dino dies in Land Before Time), at Old Yeller, and the National Anthem.
Rule 7: I will never, ever "moisturize". If my skin feels like sandpaper, tough cookies. It's ivory soap, Barbasol shaving cream (or the Ivory soap if I am out of shaving cream), and Suave shampoo (again, Ivory soap if out of Suave).
Rule 24: Chick flicks are okay. Lambast me for this one if you like, but as long as you don't cry at them, it's all good.
Oh, that crying thing. I want to add that it is okay to cry at cartoon movies (like when the mama dino dies in Land Before Time), at Old Yeller, and the National Anthem.
Dann
Green bug
cartoon movies?VRWCAgent said:
Old Yeller warrants misty eyes and biting of lips that's all.
Real men cry only about major events involving their country's welfare. Like the fall of Paris. Or the Rape of Nanjing. Or the nuking of Hiroshima. Stuff like that.
Veritass
Emperor
The problem with the pads in American Football is that it turns into an arms race. If you put shoulder pads on, then it not only provides defense, it provides offense in that it allows you to hit someone harder. Then the leather helmets aren't sufficient to protect the head, so we go to the hard plastic helmet. Again, this provides better defense to the head, but also better offense in the ability to "spear" someone with a helmet, so we make penalties against that. People keep getting facial/eye injuries, so they add the face mask to protect this, but that can be a problem if someone grabs the face mask: it provides excellent leverage to twist someone's head off of their neck, so we make penalties against that.
This is one of the reasons that American Football has the largest, most complex set of rules of any mass popularity sport.
My problem with soccer is all of the acting. Take trip, fall down, do the obligatory grabbing the shin and rolling back and forth a few times like there should be a bone protuding, then hop up and play on.
American basketball has done the best job of evolving the sport to keep it interesting for the fans. Too many teams were getting ahead and camping out on a lead, so they instituted the 24-second clock, so when you have the ball, you have to make some attempt at offense (soccer take note). Too many teams were collapsing the defense down into the paintend area, so they added a 3-point shot line to force the defense to spread out. Right now there is too much physical pushing in basketball, and there will have to be some rule evolution in this area.
This is one of the reasons that American Football has the largest, most complex set of rules of any mass popularity sport.
My problem with soccer is all of the acting. Take trip, fall down, do the obligatory grabbing the shin and rolling back and forth a few times like there should be a bone protuding, then hop up and play on.
American basketball has done the best job of evolving the sport to keep it interesting for the fans. Too many teams were getting ahead and camping out on a lead, so they instituted the 24-second clock, so when you have the ball, you have to make some attempt at offense (soccer take note). Too many teams were collapsing the defense down into the paintend area, so they added a 3-point shot line to force the defense to spread out. Right now there is too much physical pushing in basketball, and there will have to be some rule evolution in this area.
It depends what you consider interesting. Enforced non-stop action rather devalues the pleasure in real action. I quite enjoy watching tactical battles in rugby: the careful build-up to a big push.
In cricket it's not just tactics, but strategy. There's something far more rewarding, for me at least, in seeing careful play pay off. It doesn't have to be quick; you can be equally brutal in enforcing a lock-down as you can in a non-stop run around, if not more so. It takes hard work and concentration to keep control of an innings in a cricket test match, for example. What's the joy in forcing people to run around every 24 seconds? Why don't you just get a cattle prod and a couple of pet dogs?
In cricket it's not just tactics, but strategy. There's something far more rewarding, for me at least, in seeing careful play pay off. It doesn't have to be quick; you can be equally brutal in enforcing a lock-down as you can in a non-stop run around, if not more so. It takes hard work and concentration to keep control of an innings in a cricket test match, for example. What's the joy in forcing people to run around every 24 seconds? Why don't you just get a cattle prod and a couple of pet dogs?
Xanikk999
History junkie
Dann said:cartoon movies?
Old Yeller warrants misty eyes and biting of lips that's all.
Real men cry only about major events involving their country's welfare. Like the fall of Paris. Or the Rape of Nanjing. Or the nuking of Hiroshima. Stuff like that.
Real men arent afraid to cry about what truly matters during life. But dont get out of hand or whine about nonsense.
Veritass
Emperor
In basketball, they are running around anyway. Within 24 seconds of taking possession of the ball, the team on offense must make an offensive play, established by taking a shot at the basket that hits the rim. The 24 seconds was measured as the high side of how long this normally took anyway. The alternative was to watch the team that was ahead play keep-away and just try to pass the ball around without ever taking a shot.Brighteye said:
Haven't you ever seen a soccer/football game where one team scores a goal in the 50th minute, and the remaining 40 minutes they barely cross midfield on an attack? Whenever they get the ball, they just kick it back and forth and play a similar keep-away with the other team. This makes for 40 minutes of very dull watching.
But limiting viable tactics solely for the sake of higher scores seems silly to me. It's good to have teams that can change tactics and play differently as the game requires.
That's admirable, and a gritty battle like that can be fun to watch. The point of games is to win, not entertain the spectators.
That's admirable, and a gritty battle like that can be fun to watch. The point of games is to win, not entertain the spectators.
Irish Caesar
Yellow Jacket
Brighteye said:
If you don't entertain the spectators, they'll go away. Then who will pay your salary?
JoeM
Imperator
Brighteye said:
Arms that are too short to reach into your jacket pocket and pull out your wallet.
Winston Khan
Fact = Reason
Whomp said:To question their manlinhood smacks of anti-realmanamericanism. Woo hits ,as Ronnie Lott would say, is when you separate a man from his soul. This is the norm.
I've never questioned the toughness of rugby player or Aussie rules football. Both are tough, our football players are simply bigger, faster and as violent. This equals more pain. It's what we do. We're a violent people. But hey, they're all crazy when you think about it. So here's to rugby AND association football!
Pain train...
This does not show that American Football players are harder, more manly or less bald! I will not preach anti-americanism (in this thread), you guys can do it for yourselves!! Thinking that these guys need protection is an anti-realmanism, a real
in this thread, shirley?The NFL is a good league and I actually
enjoy Amercian Football, however it is not a Real Man Sport. The Level of Girly-type Protection shown by American Footballers is for wimps (or should that be Whomps?) A real man laughs in the face of Pain and then rips out Pains' heart; stamping on it a few times, before seeking medical advice!Rambuchan, if you are to include a list of man sports in the 'Rules', for the sake of Manliness; I urge you, do not include American Football!!
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
So a 2nd Draft of RULE 26 regarding Sporting Participation is below for any further comments.
Section 1. A real man should either participate in or be able to make reference to at least one story of sporting glory back in the day
(a)Participation is defined as:
1.actively taking part in; and/or
2.being a spectator of; and/or
3.having a concerned interest in a sport defined in s.2.
(b)make reference to shall relate to a real man having participated in a sport at any time previously.
Section 2. A sport is defined as any such activity which relates vaguely to the natural pastime of the real man ie hunting and war.
(a) Activities not defined as sports under s.2 will not preclude participation by a real man provided that this is in addition to participation in a sport
Section 3. A real man should take great interest in any sport, including those not defined under s.2 if the same sport is being shown on TV and the alternative is watching a channel of his partners choosing.
(a) This is particularily true if,
(i) There is a Major Tournament being played
(ii) Your club, city, state or national team is participating in any competition
Section 4 Poker is not defined as a Sport under this Rule and the Real Man participation in Poker shall be subject to a further rule which therein will detail the obligations of the Real Man.
I think the later is more practible. To me it is unfair to say that just because a person is considered to be a Real Man by virtue of participation in a sport such as kickboxing, another person participating in another worthy sport such as Archery is not a Real Man.
I think some kind of ruling is required.
Section 1. A real man should either participate in or be able to make reference to at least one story of sporting glory back in the day
(a)Participation is defined as:
1.actively taking part in; and/or
2.being a spectator of; and/or
3.having a concerned interest in a sport defined in s.2.
(b)make reference to shall relate to a real man having participated in a sport at any time previously.
Section 2. A sport is defined as any such activity which relates vaguely to the natural pastime of the real man ie hunting and war.
(a) Activities not defined as sports under s.2 will not preclude participation by a real man provided that this is in addition to participation in a sport
Section 3. A real man should take great interest in any sport, including those not defined under s.2 if the same sport is being shown on TV and the alternative is watching a channel of his partners choosing.
(a) This is particularily true if,
(i) There is a Major Tournament being played
(ii) Your club, city, state or national team is participating in any competition
Section 4 Poker is not defined as a Sport under this Rule and the Real Man participation in Poker shall be subject to a further rule which therein will detail the obligations of the Real Man.
I think that the issue here is whether it is considered that there are Real Men and non-Real Men, known hereafter as 'whooftas', or if there are varying levels of Real Man status.Winston Khan said:
I think the later is more practible. To me it is unfair to say that just because a person is considered to be a Real Man by virtue of participation in a sport such as kickboxing, another person participating in another worthy sport such as Archery is not a Real Man.
I think some kind of ruling is required.
soul_warrior
Termite!
regarding the sports rules...
maybe we should add a grade system?
easier to quantify, and, as in real life, will give status to all RealMen.
not all men are born equal!
not even REAL MEN.
some are even SURREAL (Jhonny Weissmiller, C. Heston, and Attilla are a few examples of Chieftains of Real Men)
could we make it a 70% fullfilment minimum? (to getting Real Man status)
each sport or other section gets a certain rate (several percentage points)
to qualify as a REAL MAN, you would need atleast 70%.
if you get 90+ you get Chieftain Of Real Men status, and a nice belt you can show of to your friends!
maybe we should add a grade system?
easier to quantify, and, as in real life, will give status to all RealMen.
not all men are born equal!
not even REAL MEN.
some are even SURREAL (Jhonny Weissmiller, C. Heston, and Attilla are a few examples of Chieftains of Real Men)
could we make it a 70% fullfilment minimum? (to getting Real Man status)
each sport or other section gets a certain rate (several percentage points)
to qualify as a REAL MAN, you would need atleast 70%.
if you get 90+ you get Chieftain Of Real Men status, and a nice belt you can show of to your friends!
Winston Khan
Fact = Reason
Nice one Prince! Gotta have some ruling, for sure! Although I understand Ram has been banned by the Facists for trying to cuss them!
Talking of...
The Rules of Man-Cussing and Delivering Slander.
It is ok to use any language and vocabulary in order to offend. The more offensive the better, the most effective builds to a huge one-liner that silences everyone in the room/bar/restuarant, causing a 'turn-and-stare'!
Remember that the heavier you start the harder the finish, save that beautiful killer, sucker-punch for the end when your opponent has run out of steam and is trying to gloat over the previously directed at you!
Also, Real Men are never lost for words, find em - quick. If started upon by a lesser (or in rare cases, greater intellectual) individual Think of the biggest, most offensive thing to say straight off, deliver it and then neck your pint, in one, whilst laughing at him - declaring "Beat that MF"! After slamming you empty pint jar on the table.
A key part of this strategy is keeping your cool no matter how much 'Yo Momma' can take!!
Talking of...
The Rules of Man-Cussing and Delivering Slander.
It is ok to use any language and vocabulary in order to offend. The more offensive the better, the most effective builds to a huge one-liner that silences everyone in the room/bar/restuarant, causing a 'turn-and-stare'!
Remember that the heavier you start the harder the finish, save that beautiful killer, sucker-punch for the end when your opponent has run out of steam and is trying to gloat over the previously directed at you!
Also, Real Men are never lost for words, find em - quick. If started upon by a lesser (or in rare cases, greater intellectual) individual Think of the biggest, most offensive thing to say straight off, deliver it and then neck your pint, in one, whilst laughing at him - declaring "Beat that MF"! After slamming you empty pint jar on the table.
A key part of this strategy is keeping your cool no matter how much 'Yo Momma' can take!!
I will concede the point that not all NFL football players are considered "real men" (kickers and punters especially) however I would suggest any player that uses his equipment as a weapon(linemen, linebackers, safeties in particular) be considered a "real man".
I'm fully on board with PrinceofLeigh's sporting point and like Winston Khan's cussing and slandering. I would suggest an amendment to that which states that real men chose their words carefully. It's a known fact that men use 7,000 words a day and women 20,000. Anything approaching 20,000 words should be viewed with disdain.
I'm fully on board with PrinceofLeigh's sporting point and like Winston Khan's cussing and slandering. I would suggest an amendment to that which states that real men chose their words carefully. It's a known fact that men use 7,000 words a day and women 20,000. Anything approaching 20,000 words should be viewed with disdain.
Winston Khan said:Nice one Prince! Gotta have some ruling, for sure! Although I understand Ram has been banned by the Facists for trying to cuss them!
Talking of...
The Rules of Man-Cussing and Delivering Slander.
It is ok to use any language and vocabulary in order to offend. The more offensive the better, the most effective builds to a huge one-liner that silences everyone in the room/bar/restuarant, causing a 'turn-and-stare'!
A key part of this strategy is keeping your cool no matter how much 'Yo Momma' can take!!
Surely real men are not the sort of scumbags who wander around swearing all day long? Those are mere vagabonds and wastrels. A real man chooses his words carefully. As Whomp says.
So that cursing and swearing are actually something a real man does relatively little, because it shows that something has got to him. A real man might swear deliberately in a slanging match, but never in normal conversation (excess verbeage) or as an exclamation (no self-control).
I think that keeping your cool is a more important part of being a real man than silencing bars with your one-liners. Is the real man the chap who has just flown off the handle and let fly a barrage of verbal diarrhea, or the one man in the crowd who carries on talking while the rest are silent, and ignores the silly tirade?
PrinceOfLeigh
Wigan, England
I like the cussing rule. Real Men do not take offence at the slightest remark. In fact, barring some exceptions, taking offence is a sign of weakness and is not the trait of a Real Man.
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