@ fe333: I'm sorry but I don't make much of this at all:
Rules of Manliness- (this explains a lot) ~
Clearly pretending to be in the know, I wonder when they executed this little bit of plagiarism?
01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at the footy, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only is it permissible.
Wrong. You NEVER share umbrellas.
02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
I'll accept the last one.
03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.
Wrong again. You do bring them in so you can mortify your mate later in life.
04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Not bad. I can see this getting 'assimilated'.
05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
I agree (but 24 hours is a bit soon isn't it?!)
06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
Complete trash. You must always display your greater knowledge of the finer things in life. Whether your mate's taste or finances allow for what you think is suitable is immaterial. You shoud always give him a hard time. (Gets me thinking about a rule for manly affection - sorry to use such a scary phrase).
07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
Dealt with already. These gals are lagging.
08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
Granted. I think a new road trip category needs to be opened up.
09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event,you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
This is actually quite good.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
That's IN. How shall we credit these ladies?
11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
This is a tough one. What do you guys think? I'm inclined not to agree with the consuming of alcopops, but it's a pursuasive scenario I must admit.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
No way Jose. Off limits at all times.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
See above. I mean really!!!!
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
So obvious I didn't bother mentioning it.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
See directly above.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
There is no mention of sex in here, at least I couldn't spot one... How is this person distinguishable from your mates?
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
WTH? It seems to make sense but it's a bit bizarre. It would get a triple figure rule number in my book.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
Utter trash. It's all open game.
19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Too obvious. Waste of pixels that one.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.
These are scraping the barrel a bit aren't they? This one seems very shakey.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a Yeah, Baby, Push it! > b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder! > c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
The motivation behind including this rule makes me shudder. And the images are quite disturbing.
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equalfooting: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Like I said before, lagging. In fact, they are misconstruing the situation quite dangerously IMO.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
I don't buy this for one minute, plenty of reasons to talk to a woman for ages on the phone. It's phones that are the problem here anyway, not women.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have had drunken s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
This has saved them some dignity. Excellent rule and quite quite true!!!
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
Yes. Road trip category...?
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
See 25.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
At least they go out on a bang!
That was all very interesting. I see I've now got a lot of work to do. And to think I posted the opening post on a whim after watching Bush and Obasanjo holding hands.

What have I got myself into?
