Spearthrower
Thrower of spears
While I personally hate football, I'm a rugby player myself (notice how you don't need expensive equipment for that either, but its a damn sight more manly than wearing armour so you don't scratch your nails, spoil your good looks, or lose your perm, ducky! 
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OH YES!....let's equate sporting quality to monetary expense!!
Let's scratch all the Olympic sports (utter freebies!!) and swimming (one can do it in the buff!)... oh and all those other sports that have been played consecutively for thousands of years in favour of a bunch of jocks wearing WAY too much protection.... just what do they think's going to happen to them.... a mid-play terrorist attack?
Basketball requires expensive equipment?
BASEBALL?? A stick and a rock.....
The real reason why these American sports are not played round the world is because they're utter poop.... even on the poopiest day of all poop, with scoops of poop laying around knee-deep everywhere, you can still detect American sports a mile away by their utter poopiness!
Please note that the real reason for the evolution of American sports has been clearly researched and examined and it has been discovered that the rest of the world has more than a 12 second attention span - that's the real reason why real football has never been popular for you guys!
Ice Hockey is different - that's a real game.... not like these sports with 5 second plays with repeated 25 minute breaks re-explaining all the rules again to the knuckledraggers between each one.
"Whaddya mean boss... I gotta pick up dis here brown lemon and den what? You want me to carry it AND run.... hur hur hur, very funny boss... dis smart guy.... hur hur hur, funny guy!!"
Let's redefine that "third world" as... "the rest of the world" - you know? That big lump of land and populace that exists outside of the USA.... it might be a surprise to you that not everyone's trying to illegally immigrate there! So, that vast majority of the world ubiquitously play a sport where you kick a ball with your foot.... thus we call it in our rustic, quaint manner... FOOTBALL. While you send out testosterone-filled, metal welded lumps of meat to run up a pitch carrying a lemon shaped object....
The reason why Carry Lemon (a.k.a. American Football) is a collision sport is that you can't find an intelligent enough player to understand the concept of dodging while also remembering to move his feet.
To understand football, you need to put Swan Lake on in the background, as the twirls and pirhouettes rise and fall, you will notice they do it in time with the music.... it's actually a carefully orchestrated and choreographed fusion between ballet and rugby. You guys just don't know culture when you see it!
And then the Lord did see men wearing equipment equal to the GNP of a small country, with half the intelligence of a small wad of palm husks... and unhappy was he! "What utter cack" he boomed "this is worse than Cricket!", and flipped the channel to watch Ping Pong instead.
There are always evolutionary dead-ends.... backwaters where organisms have over-evolved following strange and unusual environmental pressures and are just waiting for someone to come along to lay some extinction down on them and put them out of their misery.... Cricket and Carry Lemon are both such examples!
)OH YES!....let's equate sporting quality to monetary expense!!
Let's scratch all the Olympic sports (utter freebies!!) and swimming (one can do it in the buff!)... oh and all those other sports that have been played consecutively for thousands of years in favour of a bunch of jocks wearing WAY too much protection.... just what do they think's going to happen to them.... a mid-play terrorist attack? Basketball requires expensive equipment?
BASEBALL?? A stick and a rock.....The real reason why these American sports are not played round the world is because they're utter poop.... even on the poopiest day of all poop, with scoops of poop laying around knee-deep everywhere, you can still detect American sports a mile away by their utter poopiness!
Please note that the real reason for the evolution of American sports has been clearly researched and examined and it has been discovered that the rest of the world has more than a 12 second attention span - that's the real reason why real football has never been popular for you guys!
Ice Hockey is different - that's a real game.... not like these sports with 5 second plays with repeated 25 minute breaks re-explaining all the rules again to the knuckledraggers between each one.
"Whaddya mean boss... I gotta pick up dis here brown lemon and den what? You want me to carry it AND run.... hur hur hur, very funny boss... dis smart guy.... hur hur hur, funny guy!!"
Let's redefine that "third world" as... "the rest of the world" - you know? That big lump of land and populace that exists outside of the USA.... it might be a surprise to you that not everyone's trying to illegally immigrate there!
So, that vast majority of the world ubiquitously play a sport where you kick a ball with your foot.... thus we call it in our rustic, quaint manner... FOOTBALL. While you send out testosterone-filled, metal welded lumps of meat to run up a pitch carrying a lemon shaped object.... The reason why Carry Lemon (a.k.a. American Football) is a collision sport is that you can't find an intelligent enough player to understand the concept of dodging while also remembering to move his feet.
To understand football, you need to put Swan Lake on in the background, as the twirls and pirhouettes rise and fall, you will notice they do it in time with the music.... it's actually a carefully orchestrated and choreographed fusion between ballet and rugby. You guys just don't know culture when you see it!
And then the Lord did see men wearing equipment equal to the GNP of a small country, with half the intelligence of a small wad of palm husks... and unhappy was he! "What utter cack" he boomed "this is worse than Cricket!", and flipped the channel to watch Ping Pong instead.
There are always evolutionary dead-ends.... backwaters where organisms have over-evolved following strange and unusual environmental pressures and are just waiting for someone to come along to lay some extinction down on them and put them out of their misery.... Cricket and Carry Lemon are both such examples!
He is more a metrossexual dude that dyes his hair of blond, that has a ex-pop star wife and that used soccer to get seen ..... I know personally some far better soccer players than him ( from the Portuguese national team ). If soccer allowed unlimited substitutions, Beckham would only enter to shoot corners of faults ( the only thing that he can do well in soccer ) and would run ASAP to to the bench 
