Update on the pregnancy situation

[Japanrocks12]

A bit of self-assessment is vital here: do you think that given all of your circumstances, you can devote enough time to your new family? If you're wavering between yes and no, then I would without a question put him/her up for adoption. You don't want to rear a child halfheartedly and you can't assume that your partner will cover for you if your circumstances won't let you.

 

[MobBoss]

Ever heard of financial aid? Ever heard of tuition reimbursement from your employer? These things can help aid in paying for college.

Not everyone qualifies for financial aid do they? And sometimes if they do, it doesnt cover the entire cost of tuition and books.

I know that very well....my wife is going for her Masters right now.

Since we are talking about a situation of a 16 year old (Who has yet to graduate from High School). Do you seriously think that he should be a high school drop out?

Full stop. Where did I advocate this? However, he would hardly be the first kid that had to drop out of school to meet his responsibility in raising a child...which could be the case if he has no family support.

I was not talking about college BTW (But yet, I disagree with you that you can still make a good living w/o a college degree. You make more money with a college degree. But thats another topic).

Yes, another topic which I have proved you wrong in.

At most, he should chose his education and finish his school over family.

Again...my children are far more important to me than me going to college. Providing for them has always been a priority.

I value education because it opens doors to places that can take you.

Whats it done for you? All I hear from you is how you cant seem to get a job despite your degree.....so which is it exactly?

Then again you've gotten married at a very young age where as I gotten into college after High School and still single.

And have you gotten a job since getting your degree?

 

[GenMarshall]

Full stop. Where did I advocate this? However, he would hardly be the first kid that had to drop out of school to meet his responsibility in raising a child...which could be the case if he has no family support.

First off, That "Full Stop" statement is getting quite annoying and irritating. Second, did you not say to him that he should chose family first? Sounds suspiciously like advocating that a person who did an "whops got a girl pregnent/OMG I'm pregnant" at a high school age should drop out. He should stay in school and finish his diploma. If there is no family support, that's what adoption is for!

Yes, another topic which I have proved you wrong in.

Sorry, you have not proved me wrong in anything. Is there something in your personality that you love to prove people wrong? Do I sense some sort of Macho-Sadism in you?

Again...my children are far more important to me than me going to college. Providing for them has always been a priority.

Meh, all children do is weigh a person down from achieving the goals that he or she wants to strive for. To me, College is far more important than caring for children at my stage of life.

If I was in his position, I would place the child up for adoption.

Whats it done for you? All I hear from you is how you cant seem to get a job despite your degree.....so which is it exactly?

It's the economy. High Unemployment and not enough jobs in my area is a factor (And no, I am not talking about the United States, I am talking about the local level. Just wanted to put that there before you get your jollies on proving people wrong ).

And have you gotten a job since getting your degree?

No, as I said in another thread. I am still looking for a job and I am close to the point and becoming a discouraged worker.

 

[MobBoss]

First off, That "Full Stop" statement is getting quite annoying and irritating.

/ignore is your friend.

Second, did you not say to him that he should chose family first? Sounds suspiciously like advocating that a person who did an "whops got a girl pregnent/OMG I'm pregnant" at a high school age should drop out. He should stay in school and finish his diploma. If there is no family support, that's what adoption is for!

A person should always and I mean always put their family first, no matter the circumstance. If more people did, we wouldnt have half the social issues we have in the USA today.

Sorry, you have not proved me wrong in anything.

Denial is more than just a river in Egypt.

Is there something in your personality that you love to prove people wrong? Do I sense some sort of Macho-Sadism in you?

Is there something in your personality which prevents you from just calmly saying you were wrong when the facts against you are overwhelming?

Meh, all children do is weigh a person down from achieving the goals that he or she wants to strive for.

Was that how your parents felt?

To me, College is far more important than caring for children at my stage of life.

Kinda simple to say since you dont have kids.

If I was in his position, I would place the child up for adoption.

What if the mother wished to keep the child? You would still be legally bound to provide financial support for the kid. How do you propose to do that while in school?

 

[GenMarshall]

He's 16. He cannot realistically take care of the consequences by himself, unless his and her parents pick up a lot of the slack. If they are unable or unwilling to do so, abortion or adoption are his only real options.
The mature thing to do, in his case, is to realize that he is in way over his head and seek the best option together with the involved families. I don't think any of us has enough data to pick it for him, and certainly not enough to judge him for his/their decision.

And what if the parents refuse? What about his aunts and uncles, or his older cousins?

 

[GenMarshall]

A person should always and I mean always put their family first, no matter the circumstance. If more people did, we wouldnt have half the social issues we have in the USA today.

It's quite unrealistic to expect more people to put family first.

Is there something in your personality which prevents you from just calmly saying you were wrong when the facts against you are overwhelming?

The so called facts against me are not overwhelming. Also, I dont want to give you the pleasure of you being wright when you "proven" me wrong.

Was that how your parents felt?

I was an unplanned child. My mother went through post-pardom depression for a few years. My father was hardly around and only thought of himself.

What if the mother wished to keep the child? You would still be legally bound to provide financial support for the kid. How do you propose to do that while in school?

I however would not provide financial support for the kid. It's eather abortion or adoption, and I pretty much prefer the child to be put up for adoption. I don't want no snotty nose dipper wearing kid putting me down.

 

[.Shane.]

/shrug. I have seen it done with success. He isnt a statistic, he is a person and deserves his chance.

Not really. He's a persona on an internet gaming forum.

TBH, if he was a real person, meaning your or I could know him personally, in RL, then we could make an assessment. But, we don't have that. We have an extremely subjective internet persona.

In that case, go w/ the best case.

Myself, I got married at 20 years old to a 19 year old bride and both of our families were against it. We beat the odds. So can he.

All rules have exceptions.

Did you get married because you got your (future) wife pregnant? If not, then your situation is already dramatically different. Also, you were 20, and the person(a) in question is 16. That's a massive difference.

I'm on the side of the child here. Adoption's the way to go.

 

[luiz]

I'm on the side of the child here. Adoption's the way to go.

It is if his' and her's parents can't/don't want to help. Otherwise it isn't.

 

[MobBoss]

It's quite unrealistic to expect more people to put family first.

I know of this. Its called 'selfishness'.

The so called facts against me are not overwhelming. Also, I dont want to give you the pleasure of you being wright when you "proven" me wrong.

Too late.

I however would not provide financial support for the kid.

You would rather go to jail? You see...financial support isnt an 'option'. Its the law.

I don't want no snotty nose dipper wearing kid putting me down.

Again, as I stated in the first comment, I recognize this very well...its called 'selfishness'.

 

[IglooDame]

Moderator Action: MB and CG, cease the sniping at each other.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[GenMarshall]

I know of this. Its called 'selfishness'.

Again, as I stated in the first comment, I recognize this very well...its called 'selfishness'.

I will admit thats one of my flaws that I dont know how to fix because I was always been pampered.

Too late.

As I have said in the other thread. I will submit that I was wrong the whole time and that you can have a good life without a College Degree.

I feel like a compleate idiot now. And yes, because of my ego and pride, I am incapable of admiting that I am wrong. I tire of pulling hissy fits and denying things. Now I want to be able to admit that I am wrong without losing face.

You would rather go to jail?

No, I don't want to go to jail.

 

[Narz]

Moderator Action: MB and CG, cease the sniping at each other.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Says the mod with the sniper for an avatar.

Anyway, any further updates? Is your girl going to get a pregnancy test or what??

 

[Whomp]

Taking the OP at face value... given your age and maturity, the best thing for that baby, should your gf be pregnant, is to give it up for adoption.

Mmmh. Honestly it's your choice, but if you decide to keep the baby you better be ready to seriously commit. Statistics aren't in your favor, but I would love it if you proved them wrong

A bit of self-assessment is vital here: do you think that given all of your circumstances, you can devote enough time to your new family? If you're wavering between yes and no, then I would without a question put him/her up for adoption. You don't want to rear a child halfheartedly and you can't assume that your partner will cover for you if your circumstances won't let you.

Read these. It's a lot of big decisions and you'll need to be prepared for the massive devotion, time, love, and expense it takes to raise a child. Get the test and soon so you can start potentially preparing for a significantly different life.

Says the mod with the sniper for an avatar.

Moderator Action: and finally...warned for PDMA. Watch it.

 

[Narz]

I meant no disrespect, just thought that was amusing.

 

[Harbringer]

Well, to further the situation, I offered to buy her a test and she said she just wanted to wait till the beggining of the month to find out or not. My thing is, shes gonna worry herself to death and have her period late and then think shes pregnant, but I think I can convince her to take the test...hopefully.

As for CG, I dont where you come from man but you seem to only think of yurself which although it is efficient, its heartless. But its your choice man.

 

[GenMarshall]

As for CG, I dont where you come from man but you seem to only think of yurself which although it is efficient, its heartless. But its your choice man.

I am rethinking what I have said and dont want to be seen as heartless.

 

[nc-1701]

I am rethinking what I have said and dont want to be seen as heartless.

You aren't being heartless your being realistic.

@Harbinger Get the freakin test! Then you can choose any option, but make sure you weigh everything carefully. This decision is one you will have to face for the rest of your life so make sure you answer it correctly. I know I would leap at abortion, but you aren't me, and it's up to you. Personally I think you'd be better off with adoption, but ultimetly it's your (and the mothers) decision.

 

[Nobody]

When i said "smshmortion, take her to the smshmortion clinc" i was trying to be funny like on the movie knocked up. Really im happy she choosed not to abort, i have to friends who both got there girls friends pregant at the same time. One said "we will keep it" but then aborted it. The other couple right away said "we are going to abort it" but they kept it.

The ones who kept it are still together and happy with a cool little son. the other two broke up, and the girl regrets her decision alot.

Really its all her decision, if you force her to abort, adopt or even keep it you are being a jerk. the only decision you get to make is to support her or not, the rest is up to her.

That decision to support her or not is the decision of your life time, if the reason we are alive is to reproduce, any man who decides to run away from a pregant woman is a waste of life. All the good things you have done in your life will be forfit and you will be a peice of . .. .. .. . for ever, But you plan to stand by her which makes you a nice guy.

 

[Whomp]

Well, to further the situation, I offered to buy her a test and she said she just wanted to wait till the beggining of the month to find out or not. My thing is, shes gonna worry herself to death and have her period late and then think shes pregnant, but I think I can convince her to take the test...hopefully. .

If there's one thing, as a guy, you should demand it's this test. School is upon you two and it will make planning a lot easier learning now than later.

It would be nice to know whether you're going to prom or buying diapers in nine months.

 

[Nobody]

If she isn't late, or pregnant what are you basing this "shes pregnant" on?
Also you might have said earlier but how old is she?