Episode 13: The fall of the Cow!
OMG What day is it exactly?
It's Sunday!
It'S Christmas!!
It'S RandomLand update day!!!
It'S
Holiday Update Day!
Yes this is all true!! Another impossibly captivating RandomLand update for Christmas, as part of today's special program, Holiday update day!! Presented by your hosts : Brandom Herren And MaxWar!
In this new episode, warfare and rivalry hits an apex of savagery as all nations of RandomLand are engulfed in a merciless contest for conquered lands! But more importantly ... ITS CHRISTMAS!!!
We closed the last episode with a screeny of our brave conquering army besieging London, the capital of the vicious Victoria! We were not alone however to covet the city, the Devious Isabella was also there, attacking the city from the other side... Are you ready to discover what happened? To learn who finally conquered the city?
Here's what happened:
Isabella recklessly suicides her stack on the City of London! Turns out two thirds of her stack were trebuchets so she effectively softened the defense of the city for us!
We soften the city some more with our catapults then our brave general, Abdul, leads the charge once again. ThemEnglish also had a great general defending the city but he was no match for the battle hardened Abdul and got trampled under unforgiving Helliphants! Feet.
Then it was just a matter of sending some regular troops in the virtually defenseless city of london, easy win, no casualties
IN YOUR FACE IZZY!
Now lets see what's in there... W00T!! The Kashi Vishwanath! + 30 GPT!!!
Just what we wanted for Christmas!!! And also, Stonehenge!
In the meantime, other noteworthy things happened. One of our ocean faring caravel has finally spotted some unknown land!
Izzy knows we are mapping the ocean and tries to trick us by trading us a map we already know... Sorry my pretty, you will have to do better than this.
Next destination: RottingHam! Or was it spelled like that?
CHARGE HELLIPHANTS!!! Another easy win!
Victoria is ready to capitulate but then what would we do with our army?? DENIED!!!
Then Mansa comes over:
<Mansa> Its a tragedy!
<Asoka> What's happening again Mansa?
<Mansa> Give us your worldmap!!
<Asoka> No way! But nice try buddy, Bye!
AAArgh!! Will they let me finish a wonder already! This one belonged to the Indians!!
![[pissed]](/images/smilies/pissed.gif "Pissed [pissed]")
Now all troops to the city of Canterberry!!! The new english capital! One of the last bastions of Victoria! The city is nearly defenseless and contains a zillion free workers its Awesome!!
...
But wait... What!!?? Gilgy is already there!! THE BASTARD!!
*Asoka summons Gilgy.*
<Asoka> Gilgy!! GTFO NOW!! This city belongs to us!
<Gilgy> I don't think so...
<Asoka>AAArrrGGHH!!!
<Gilgy> Btw , we are also conquering the neutral cities near you territory, guess you wanted them too, no?
Sucker...
<Asoka> AAArrrGGHH!!!
<Asoka> Allright Gilgy, this is not going to be happening often.. Leave Victoria alone, she was ours to begin with... and i shall cover you with riches...
<Gilgy> WTH are you talking about?
<Gilgy> Ohh!!
<Gilgy> Cha-CHING!!! (^‿^)
<Asoka> Yeah... enjoy... merry christmas...
With that bastard Gilgy out of the way we can finally reap the fruit of our hard work!
Wohoo! Victoria is utterly defeated at this point and we inherited +7 Fast workers!!
HopliteJoe should be real happy as we accomplished both his requests at the same time!!! FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Needs more workers. Also kill vicky
But this is providing he is still reading this as he totally stopped commenting on my stories since I accidentally insulted his childhood...
That's right! Im sorry Joe!
Then, soon after, our Great general Abdul is utterly destroying the last remnants of the English empire. The city of New
cattle is belonging to us!! Vicky is captured!!! We shall have a big beef roast for Xmas!!!
Now we had to make a new bigger Cow! of Death for Victoria because she didn't fit in the old one. But then, it really smelled good when that roast was cooking! It would be quite the feast!
Even Mansa came over and pleaded to be allowed at the feast!
And so all was Good! Peace was once more ( for a while... ) restored to Randomland as the Vicious Cow!, Victoria was defeated by the glorious Indians and was eaten as Christmas Roast. Everybody was happy! The festivities lasted for the whole night and everyone was well fed, including Mansa! At this point the Indian empire is Bigger, stronger, richer, mightier than ever! What could stop them now?
Will the war continue again? India has good relation with the remaining guys, and the two remaining guys (not counting Mansa...) are also up there in military strength! So... Whats gonna happen? ....
You will find out in... TEH NEXT EPISODE!!!
...to be continued...
Ohh, before we close this lets just watch my last interview with Gilgy:
<Gilgy> Now give us that map...
<Asoka> Uh ...?
<Gilgy> I said give us that Map!
<Asoka> Aww, cmon Gilgy... You had you xmas present already, now cya!
<Gilgy> AAArrrGGHH!!!
BEAT IZZY!!!!!! That feels weird saying, since I'm used to them having only one city 
