Welcome to RandomLand!

[MaxWar]

That was just annoying me.

Great story, though. You don't need perfect grammar or spelling to be a good storywriter.

Still, this one was rather obvious , I can see why it bothered you, fixed.

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Read! through! this! whole! story!,! and! it! sure! is! GRRRREATT!
!

 

[Killroyan]

Keep up the good work. This is very GOOD stuff!!!!!

 

[thecaesar]

Maxwar, y u no update?

 

[MaxWar]

Hurray new posters!!
And no worries guys, my next update will be a RandomLand one!

 

[MaxWar]

Ok i officially announce that tomorrow i will begin to write the next RandomLand episode. Sorry for the longer than usual delay, i am also doing some beta testing these days.

 

[Akbarthegreat]

 

[MaxWar]

Episode 16: The Island of Win!​

Once upon a time in a Random place, there was a guy with long hair who looked to his people and said "Yarrr!" Then everyone cheered and got drunk. This historic event is said to have been at the root of a world changing transformation, where the amount archeological materiel being found at the bottom of the sea multiplied by at least a thousand folds. This man did not do it for the archeologists though, he did it for the Booty!! You guessed right, this man was...

Spoiler :

Captain Asoka!! "Aaarrr!"

Welcome back to RandomLand!!! Its been a while since the last time right? But don't worry, the level of booty and win will be rather high in this new iteration of RandomLand! More specifically, we discover that crime pays! We also learn that being a learned person allows your enemies to be killed by educated people! This is a big change from your enemies being killed by not so educated people! Amounts pretty much to the same thing some would argue but hey, the change is welcome back to RandomLand! And more importantly, in this episode we have Muttons!

Here's what happened:

We concluded the last episode of RandomLand with, Barbarian Galley?

But wait... that was the last episode right? Now we will talk about one of the many things that we do in RandomLand when we are bored. Of course Im talking about doing human sacrifices!
In this case, we are sacrificing 3 Great people for the glory of India!

Shortly after the deed, it was reported by various citizens that a very strong odour of Win could be scented in the vicinity of the mausoleum of Maussollos.

That's it for +15 golden age turns! Bringing back the counter to 26, for what will be a total of 45 uninterrupted turns of Golden Age ftw!

Spoiler :

Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my BOOMstick!

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Now I seem to recall we had a special mission about colonizing 10 landmasses... Here it begins!

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Settler + Galleon is a good combo... For underwater colonies!

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It seemed to me that we had a military tradition since the very stone age of Randomland... But no! We just discovered it! Actually.

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And at last we can enjoy the company of the soft cuddly muttons!
The mutton island is quite crowded by now, Gilgy has one city and Mansa has two. Its almost like a micro version of Randonland. A mini RandomLand!

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Talking about Mansa, that scurvy cat, he keeps trying to offer us totally ridiculous trades... Sorry Mansa, try the "looking miserable" approach next time and maybe I will have some pity.

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Nope, I dont remember why I took this screenie... Wait... Barbarian Galley?

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And we must not forget to provide protection to our new offshore cities! Here, to protect the muttons! Good'ol faithful warriors! Wait...

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Now Isabella comes over and urges the Indians to adopts Theocracy! Wonderful Idea!! Now all the troops we are training will be even more mean, it is heartily agreed pretty one

Spoiler :

And the very latest in the awesomeness department, behold the statue of Liberty!
Incredible boosting effect to the empire!

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To celebrate, this one will be called... The island of Win!

Spoiler :

Now let's take a look at the piracy campaign.
<Captain Asoka> Yaaarrrr!!!
<Captain Asoka> Them pesky sprogs driven crates keep going down Thar!

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And I have the pleasure to announce you that at this point, every single city belonging to the enemies is blockaded!

Because they suck and can't defend themselves in the seas, it only took the very modest and reasonable amount of 34 privateers to achieve!

Spoiler :

And now lets see what kind of profit we are talking about.
<Captain Asoka> Yarrr!! The booty!! A bottle of rum and a hearty wench for all me matey!

Spoiler :

The booty used to be a bit better but they are getting rather poor by now!

And! ... wait... no free tech? AAAaaaRgHHH! Curse you Izzy!

Spoiler :

Anyway, this one is called the Island of GTFO my island b!tch.

Spoiler :

The Island of My tundra is more awesome than yours.

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The island of My snowbank is worth more than your snowbank b!tch.

Spoiler :

Now for more "serious" stuff.
We used to have people slaughtering each other in war,
Now we have EDUCATED people slaughtering each other in war!
Because gentlemen don't just make War. They study it first!

Spoiler :

Now that we are learned in the ways of war, lets take a look at some numbers to study the impact of piracy on both the pirated and the piratist.
*Puts on spectacles*

Hmmm, as you can see the socio-econo-awesomish indicator called "score" is already giving us good indications of the impact of piracy. From the red line, being the approximate start of the piracy campaign 200 years ago, we can see a decline of the progression of score for the pirated countries. This phenomenon is likely attributable to a combination of reduced food harvest and the slowing of technological advancement.

Of course we see no such thing on the piratist country, which seems to be enjoying a steady increase of score.
<Captain Asoka> Aye! And scoring with the wenches too, yarr!

Spoiler :

Now lets take a look at the power graph. Interesting fact is that the pirate ships, although not officially belonging to a country, are being counted in the power rating of the piratist country. The pirated country on the other hand are suffering losses from countless sunk caravels as well as general economic sluggishness.
<Captain Asoka> And that's despite the sharp increase of touristic activity in Davie Jone's locker!

Spoiler :

And finally lets take a look at the food graphs. Here, a notable decline of food production can be observed for the pirated countries. The piratist country is of course suffering no such thing.
<Captain Asoka> Me would even dare say we be stuffed to the brim! *burp*

Spoiler :

Therefore, this study can obviously not conclude with anything else than : Piracy = Win.
<Captain Asoka> By the powers! Who would have though?!

To illustrate the concept look at this picture of Gilgy trying to look tough while he's actually admitting being totally ignorant about the world.

Spoiler :

To conclude the chapter and put some more emphasis on the Piracy = win equation, lets look at some more Heroic feats from the pink pirates.

Spoiler :

...To be continued...

 

[Jwitti]

I should build more Privateers.

 

[Akbarthegreat]

And I'm certainly going to try those privateers. The bucks you are earning are awesome!
$$$$$$$$$$
And, of course, great update!

 

[MaxWar]

The thing with privateers is that as soon as the frigates are out, its pretty much finished.

But in this particular game the idiotic AIs are just not researching in this direction, they all try to trade me chemistry though, of course i wont. Im making about 80 GPT from city blockades while their population is going down, and thats not counting the destruction of every single fishing boat not belonging to me lol.

 

[Lelouch]

trololo

 

[Akbarthegreat]

Talking about Mansa, that scurvy cat, he keeps trying to offer us totally ridiculous trades... Sorry Mansa, try the "looking miserable" approach next time and maybe I will have some pitty.

Pity.
Can't resist the urge to point out a spelling mistake

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I should build more Privateers.

That pretty much sums up the entire chapter. Great update!

 

[Toxicman007]

May as well migrate over here from the Civ3 S&T to subscribe! Good story, it actually changed my general Civ4 strategies (privateers FTW).

 

[thecaesar]

trololo

Quite.

 

[Ciao]

Is is very great xD I am amused at your story thus far. Continue!

 

[Dumanios]

WELCOME TO CIVFANATICS!

Armenia is the greatest nation, no matter what anyone else says, be they Roman, Greek, Britannian, or Sealander!

We won't eat you however.

Say hi to MoreEpicThanYou when he copypastes his greeting message.

 

[Ciao]

I shall ;3

However, nay, Germany is better, though Cae would say differently xD

 

[Jwitti]

Well America definitely isn't #1. Welcome!