Were the moon landings a waste?

[hobbsyoyo]

What successors of the Saturn V are we still using today?

The space shuttle was the Saturn V successor and it has morphed into the SLS. The SLS still uses a few Apollo components and the Shuttle itself used quite a lot of them. Its entire OMS (orbital maneuvering system) was jacked straight from the Apollo CSM (command and service module). We're also 60 years removed from Apollo so it's weird you're even demanding this evidence but well, there it is.

Most everything we use to launch satellites today is derived from earlier ICBMs

None of the active American launchers are ICBM-derived. There is one launcher (some variants of the Minotaur) which use decommissioned ICBM segments, but that's launched like 5 times in 15 years or something like that and its unclear that the ICBM-derived variants will even continue launching at all. Falcon 9/Heavy, Atlas V and Delta IV/Heavy were all-knew developments with nothing to do with ICBMs. The current Atlas V shares a name with its ICBM forebear but it's unrelated.

The Russians still use old ICBMs but in fairness, the Soyuz was used in the ICBM role for all of ~20 months versus 60 years of satellite launching* and the Proton, while intended to be an ICBM, was never fielded as such.

*This is also true of the original Atlas which continued launching satellites for ~40 years after a brief stint as an ICBM. But the Atlas V is completely different and only shares the name.

Satellites were not a product of the Apollo program but of the program to launch spy satellites. Different programs.

This is not true at all. The very first satellites launched by any nation were in fact scientific and had no military utility. The military did ramp up parallel satellite efforts, but right from the start, satellites were dual-use technology and not repurposed military projects. In the US particularly, the military was actually quite slow to get in the game due to inter-service rivalry, while NASA was hyperactive from its beginning.

Only because the end result turned out to be too big and expensive to use as an ICBM.

Nope, Saturn was an all-civilian effort from the get go. The Air Force did start some paper studies of the F-1 engines that the Saturn V used that they intended to use for building a moon base but it was transferred to NASA before that program got into swing. The rockets themselves were never intended for military use.

For sure the program itself was a dick measuring contest but that's not the only thing it was.

Might explain why it lead to nothing

Prove it.

more military oriented programs like spy satellites and ICBM's lead to the world we have today

The very first geostationary satellites were civilian/commercial. Pretty sure the same is true of weather satellites. GPS was a military project but the civilian use has overshadowed the military application by an impossibly wide margin. Sure, it's weirdly awe-inspiring that the military can use GPS to put a missile through a specific window on the other side of the world, but helping grandma get to McDonald's is a far more common and more important application of the technology.