Why I shouldn't Rule The World.

[Zardnaar]

As the title says. A bit of satire here but this is a who died and made you god situation. Bwa ha ha you have unlimited powah what do you do with it?

1. Bulldoze the USA into the gulf of Mexico/Grand Canyon/Great lakes. Let Canada annex it.

2. Annex England to Scotland. Bulldoze England into the English Channel linking it up with France.

3. Turn Paris into a parking lot for German Panzers. Payback for the Rainbow Warrior. I'm petty so what.

4. Have NZ run the world. Everyone else just seems terrible at it. I might concede this to the new United States of Canada.

5. Stick my face on Mount Rushmore. Just because I can. Throwing eggs at it is legal.

6. Make latin the world's official language. Just because no real reason.

7. No more wars. International disputes are settled with tastiest MRE competition. Judged by the English.

8. Turn Russia into a giant brewery. Put the Czechs in charge.

9. Return Constantinople to the Greeks. Once again just because. But only if they pay attention during Latin class.

10. Have a ruling council made up of CFC members just to watch the resulting cluster f... Erm just because.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

 

[Zardnaar]

Heh I'm not that megalomaniacal.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

As the title says. A bit of satire here but this is a who died and made you god situation. Bwa ha ha you have unlimited powah what do you do with it?

1. Bulldoze the USA into the gulf of Mexico/Grand Canyon/Great lakes. Let Canada annex it.

Leave the Grand Canyon alone! It's pretty much the only place in the U.S. I really want to visit!

2. Annex England to Scotland. Bulldoze England into the English Channel linking it up with France.

It's already linked via the Chunnel.

3. Turn Paris into a parking lot for German Panzers. Payback for the Rainbow Warrior. I'm petty so what.

I'll have to research what unique geographical features there are that should be preserved. They have mountains there, right?

4. Have NZ run the world. Everyone else just seems terrible at it. I might concede this to the new United States of Canada.

New Zealand's cool. We'd finally have native penguins that aren't confined to a zoo.

5. Stick my face on Mount Rushmore. Just because I can. Throwing eggs at it is legal.

Nope. You may not waste eggs. Mary needs them for making those wonderful-looking omelettes.

6. Make latin the world's official language. Just because no real reason.

Good thing I have some books on learning latin, then. At least I already know how the numerals work.

7. No more wars. International disputes are settled with tastiest MRE competition. Judged by the English.

8. Turn Russia into a giant brewery. Put the Czechs in charge.

Um... no opinion.

9. Return Constantinople to the Greeks. Once again just because. But only if they pay attention during Latin class.

Put @Kyriakos in charge of that region, since his avatar is already an emperor.

10. Have a ruling council made up of CFC members just to watch the resulting cluster f... Erm just because.

Now comes the real world war as we fight over which members get to be on it (all current staff should be disqualified from consideration).

 

[Zardnaar]

Leave the Grand Canyon alone! It's pretty much the only place in the U.S. I really want to visit!


It's already linked via the Chunnel.


I'll have to research what unique geographical features there are that should be preserved. They have mountains there, right?




New Zealand's cool. We'd finally have native penguins that aren't confined to a zoo.


Nope. You may not waste eggs. Mary needs them for making those wonderful-looking omelettes.


Good thing I have some books on learning latin, then. At least I already know how the numerals work.





Um... no opinion.


Put @Kyriakos in charge of that region, since his avatar is already an emperor.


Now comes the real world war as we fight over which members get to be on it (all current staff should be disqualified from consideration).

AEveryone gets in that's part of the glory.

You could put everyone into an arena, and film it as a reality bloodsport show.

Calling dibs on being on Commodores team. Adam made me an honary Slav so we'll have to grab Red_Elk as well. Emzee for the post game drinking competition.

Glorious I say. Glorious.

Kyriajos could be scary though he would be the new Byzantine Emperor

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I think I'll just hide.

 

[amadeus]

First of all, I’m bringing back damnatio memoriae. They won’t just be gone, they’ll be gone gone.

Most civilized countries would be allowed to govern themselves, but I’ll intervene when I feel it’s necessary. Basketcase countries may be given stewardship via another self-governing power, or direct personal intervention, or just a total quarantine until they get their act together.

First, Europe is back to 1989 borders. That includes West and East Germany, but this time without all that crappy communism. Post-Soviet Olympics are boring and we need to fix that.

KMT is back on the mainland, and we’re bringing back the Shah too. Can we also get a wacky colonel for Libya? It’s just not the same without Khaddafi, but his replacement won’t be given power over anything except his wardrobe.

I’ll redo the American healthcare system to be make more sense to the end-user. No more complicated insurance crap. Also, no more drug commercials since they annoy me.

Also a global mandate on Uber Eats people: strict hygiene inspections. I haven’t seen one yet who I think I would trust my food to, so that’s going to get an overhaul.

More to come?

 

[Zardnaar]

I think I'll just hide.

Where though?

Most places are probably fine except Paris, England, USA and maybe Germany.

Haven't figured out what I would do with Germany. Put them in charge of catering or government sponsored propa erm I mean stand up comedy.

 

[Kouvb593kdnuewnd]

Waste of time and boring.

 

[Zardnaar]

First of all, I’m bringing back damnatio memoriae. They won’t just be gone, they’ll be gone gone.

Most civilized countries would be allowed to govern themselves, but I’ll intervene when I feel it’s necessary. Basketcase countries may be given stewardship via another self-governing power, or direct personal intervention, or just a total quarantine until they get their act together.

First, Europe is back to 1989 borders. That includes West and East Germany, but this time without all that crappy communism. Post-Soviet Olympics are boring and we need to fix that.

KMT is back on the mainland, and we’re bringing back the Shah too. Can we also get a wacky colonel for Libya? It’s just not the same without Khaddafi, but his replacement won’t be given power over anything except his wardrobe.

I’ll redo the American healthcare system to be make more sense to the end-user. No more complicated insurance crap. Also, no more drug commercials since they annoy me.

Also a global mandate on Uber Eats people: strict hygiene inspections. I haven’t seen one yet who I think I would trust my food to, so that’s going to get an overhaul.

More to come?

Good points here imho. Libya needs a new Colonel. Maybe female this time with male bodyguards?

Damnatio memoriae is a great one. That will really screw over.......... .

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I think I'll just hide.

Nope. This is an opportunity for you, Synsensa, and I to remake Canada so it makes sense. The U.S., too, since we're annexing it.

 

[AdamCrock]

As the title says. A bit of satire here but this is a who died and made you god situation. Bwa ha ha you have unlimited powah what do you do with it?

1. Bulldoze the USA into the gulf of Mexico/Grand Canyon/Great lakes. Let Canada annex it.

2. Annex England to Scotland. Bulldoze England into the English Channel linking it up with France.

3. Turn Paris into a parking lot for German Panzers. Payback for the Rainbow Warrior. I'm petty so what.

4. Have NZ run the world. Everyone else just seems terrible at it. I might concede this to the new United States of Canada.

5. Stick my face on Mount Rushmore. Just because I can. Throwing eggs at it is legal.

6. Make latin the world's official language. Just because no real reason.

7. No more wars. International disputes are settled with tastiest MRE competition. Judged by the English.

8. Turn Russia into a giant brewery. Put the Czechs in charge.

9. Return Constantinople to the Greeks. Once again just because. But only if they pay attention during Latin class.

10. Have a ruling council made up of CFC members just to watch the resulting cluster f... Erm just because.

It's not really something I'd support but I like Your style !! You've got my vote ! I know it doesn't matter if You have it or not but I vote for You just because !
Oh and please do make Poland just a huge bar ! xD You need a place to drink all the stuff they brew in Russia right ?

 

[Zardnaar]

It's not really something I'd support but I like Your style !! You've got my vote ! I know it doesn't matter if You have it or not but I vote for You just because !
Oh and please do make Poland just a huge bar ! xD You need a place to drink all the stuff they brew in Russia right ?

That's a good point.

Depose Lukashenko, new regime mega bar of the old PLC reborn as a giant bar!!!

 

[amadeus]

I think my interventions would be pretty benign were I the Supreme Leader.

Lots of stuff to do with TV. I would decree that when CNN show’s Anderson Cooper, they cannot refer to him by name and must call him Gloria Vanderbilt’s Son.

Also those awful doctor shows where they spew pseudoscience. You’re all fired! So is Jim Bakker in case he is still on TV; the fact that con artist doesn’t burst into flames when he steps into a real church mystifies me.

Confederate statues will be sent to Europe and European statues to the USA. They’re all guys on horses, will anyone know the difference?

Justin Trudeau can stay as PM of Canada under the condition he wears a suit and tie every day of his government. That guy just loves to play dress-up.

Maybe just one more post...

 

[Commodore]

Calling dibs on being on Commodores team

Such enthusiasm for the cause will be rewarded. You shall be one of my political officers, meant to enforce discipline and inspire the men to keep pushing forward...and to judge them when their courage fails.

 

[EgonSpengler]

As the title says. A bit of satire here but this is a who died and made you god situation. Bwa ha ha you have unlimited powah what do you do with it?

1. I'll write a 'Constitution' for the whole world, a foundational document outlining the principles by which everyone will have to live, even after I've shuffled off this mortal coil. I would convene a global conference, 'cause I'd want to get a lot of input from different people and do it right, but in the end, I'd write it. Generally speaking, it would feature a lot of the bullet-points of Northeast American progressive idealism. It would leave a lot of room for various cultures - in fact, that'd be one of the aforementioned idealistic bullet points - but, y'know, basic stuff like racism and misogyny are out. My "live and let live" philosophy has limits, hard and soft. If your orthodox religion says you can't send your kids to a secular school... well... let's talk; but if your ambition in life is to be a White supremacist human trafficker who beats up queer people on the weekend, you're just going to feel my authoritarian jackboot on your neck - sorry, not sorry.

2. Green energy. Enough of this ruining the planet [stuff] already. I mean, ffs, we've been talking about this for 30-40 years and haven't done [anything].

2a. Green transportation. Shipping, trucking and rail for commerce; airplanes, rail and short-distance public transportation options for individuals.

I've no idea what to do about 2 and 2a, or even what the barriers are, so I'll fund people who are smarter than I am. How's a trillion dollars a year for the world's Top 20 technical universities sound? Two trillion? Whatever. Get it done. I probably won't be attending the conferences on this one myself, as the technical conversations would necessarily have to be over my head, but if I can clear up any political issues or funding problems, let me know.

3. Clean water and basic healthcare for everybody. Again, I'll throw a few trillion into R&D, as needed, but I think we already know how to do at least some of this, we just need an authoritarian despot to free up the funding.

4. International disputes will be settled with sports competitions instead of shooting wars or trade conflicts that only hurt working people. Soccer/football and MMA, for sure, but I'm open to other possibilities. I like the occasional tennis, rugby, and Olympic sports. My United States will turn approximately one-quarter of its current defense budget to player development; other countries can figure out what they want to do. Both genders, obv.

4a. That reminds me, I don't know how best to include transgender and non-binary athletes in sports, at the pro and student levels, so I'll be convening a global academic conference to discuss it and educate myself.

5. After watching a recent episode of The Boys, it's come to my attention that women's clothing generally lacks pockets. Is this true? I guess I have heard that before. Henceforth, women's clothing shall include pockets. I can't believe this really requires an imperial decree, but if that's what it takes.

6. I hear Jennifer Garner is single again. Coffee?

 

[Zardnaar]

Such enthusiasm for the cause will be rewarded. You shall be one of my political officers, meant to enforce discipline and inspire the men to keep pushing forward...and to judge them when their courage fails.

You've got space marines and guns. Gotta have both to be a despot.

 

[r16]

ah yes , it is 3 posts already . ı actually spent some time to find a suitable imperial poster , through which ı learned that back in 2011 people tried to make an AT-AT replica "for Americans" before stopped cold by the lawyers of Lucasarts and stuff , there are Americans who think you can do a real one for 226 million dollars , which ı would like to see , you know to fail . So , yes , here is a likely thing for traffic cops of the future to come .

 

[Zardnaar]

ah yes , it is 3 posts already . ı actually spent some time to find a suitable imperial poster , through which ı learned that back in 2011 people tried to make an AT-AT replica "for Americans" before stopped cold by the lawyers of Lucasarts and stuff , there are Americans who think you can do a real one for 226 million dollars , which ı would like to see , you know to fail . So , yes , here is a likely thing for traffic cops of the future to come .View attachment 568841

You're getting a like for a Star Wars meme that's good.

 

[AdamCrock]

You're getting a like for a Star Wars meme that's good.