How do you do, ma'am, nice to meet you. My name is Continental Op... Bless you! But I didn't quite catch your name, come again? ...Bless you! Well I didn't catch it this time either, but you obviously have catched something, I hope it's not the pig flu everybody is ranting about. ...You mean that IS your name? Hapt... Hats... well I'll just call you Hatty if that's all right by you. Call me a stupid hick, but your name sounds too French for me to ever be able to pronounce it. But what is that furry thing you are trying to hide. I mean behind your back. A fake beard? Why, are you auditioning for a freak show or something? Just a ceremonial thing, you say. But why then are you trying to hide it? Are you sure you're not frequenting the same parties as my friend George W. (not Bush)? All right, have it your way. Don't get mad. I was just busting your balls.
...
Lou! What are you doing there, hiding behind those bushes? No, I haven't seen Marie around, why? Come on, let's go to that restaurant over there, I'll buy you a lunch. So what are you having? Some bacon and eggs, french fries, potatoes, half a dozen pork-chops and pancakes for the dessert. That sure sounds like a meal to me! So what's the problem? You seem exhausted. You're telling me that you have so much problems that you can barely eat or sleap. In fact, you can only get about 14-15 hours of sleep per night and are afraid this sleep deprivation is causing you to age before your time. So what's worrying you that much, if I may ask? Women, you say? Tell me all about it!
Let's see if I got it right. So just yesterday you were caught by your wife Marie in the middle of "diplomatic negotiations" with Cathy and been hiding since that. But that's not your only problem. You've somehow managed to form "friendly relations" with Cathy, Izzy, Bo, Hatty and Lizzy. Even Vicky is mad about you, so you say, although your not that interested in her on account that she's not really your type. That sounds really something, man, I don't know how you do it. Sure would need some advice myself. So the problem is, now all those ladies are on the warpath against each other and are demanding to join them against all the others. And you just don't know what to do, you love all of them in your own way and are now in hiding, hoping it would all just go away. That sounds like a real mess you've got yourself into. Can't say I symphatize from the bottom of my heart. With this mutt and personality I've got different sort of problems. But I can see what you mean when you say you can barely eat anymore. You left three whole pancakes in your plate!
No, I'm not implying anything, damn you! I agree, people can have a keen fashion sense even if they are not gay. Well, I'm glad we had this conversation. Hopefully you can sleep better now that you've proven me that you're straight.
