You Will Not Believe How Proper Grammar May Reveal a Secert Gay Plot in Charm City

[BvBPL]

There's little dispute that Baltimore could use some cheering up these days.

At least that's what Julie Baker thought. So she decided to brighten up her neighborhood by putting out solar lights in colored jars. All the colors of the rainbow.

Apparently, rainbows are now offensive to Christians. You see, the rainbow flag is a symbol of gay rights and by the distributive function of contemporary society now anything that is a rainbow is by default gay and therefore anti-Christian. Which is why Baker received this letter:

"Breaker, breaker, Car 54 we have a Code 83 on Kenwood Avenue."
"A relentlessly gay lawn? We are en route, Control."
"Be aware that there's a report of an invisible rainbow dragon in the building. Fantasy animal control is now on call."

In response to this letter, Baker has doubled down and promised even more gaiety in her lawn. And she needs your help. To this end, she's set up a Go Fund Me campaign to make her lawn, and the afore mentioned invisible rainbow dragon, even more homosexual. She's already raised over thirty thousand dollars (or one hundred twenty one and a quarter bitcoins).

Take a look at the letter.
Then look at the Go Fund Me page.
Notice anything queer about them?

The letter has some incorrect capitalization. As does the Go Fund Me page.

Is this merely a coincidence or is it evidence of a vast, poorly educated homosexual conspiracy to defraud people and discredit crowd funding as a legitimate resource for people who want to make crappy video games that take forever to come out?

At what point do similar errors in grammar cause you to wonder if someone faked the threatening letter they say they received?

And just how can an invisible dragon also be a rainbow dragon?

 

[bhavv]

Such a letter would make me want to troll them by purposefully making my garden gay somehow.

And since when do religions own living areas?

 

[Formaldehyde]

Someone needs to send her a purple teletubby and a Roy G Biv sign to add to the anti-Christian gayfest.

Prisms of the world unite!

 

[illram]

The capitalization errors are unquestionably similar such that if she is not doing that to intentionally make fun of the letter then that is highly suspicious.

The sentences also sound similarly short.

 

[Truthy]

But most people just don't know their capitalization rules.

 

[Atticus]

The letter sounds like a parody too. It's too hilarious to be real.

 

[warpus]

Lol

If I got a letter like that, I would just put up more rainbow stuff in my backyard. I hope that's what she does, too.

 

[illram]

But most people just don't know their capitalization rules.

The letter and her page screw it up the same way, capitalizing seemingly random nouns, pronouns and verbs in specific noun phrases. Not, say, failing to properly capitalize a heading or words in a list or other common errors.

I don't know, stylistically if you read the letter and then immediately read the go fund me page it just "sounds" the same.

 

[Formaldehyde]

Well, if it is a scam the local newspaper fell for it, too.

Gone viral: Baltimore resident wants to make 'relentlessly gay' yard more relentless, gayer

Or at least the editors of the "Gay in Maryland" section did..

 

[BvBPL]

The hard-hitting and deep digging investigatory journos of the Home & Garden section would have never fallen for this.

 

[Formaldehyde]

My advice would be to contact the gay section of the Baltimore Sun, and have them put their best forensics team on it.

$34K and growing. I may try something like this myself.

 

[BvBPL]

I will have to tread carefully. I don't want anyone getting unduly butt hurt over this.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

If this "concerned neighbor" thinks rainbows are gay, (s)he must flip out on a regular basis every time it rains.

 

[Narz]

Such a letter would make me want to troll them by purposefully making my garden gay somehow.

And since when do religions own living areas?

Yeah, I would get life size cut outs of the YMCA guys giving the finger & guarding the rainbow lights.

The sign might be anti-Christian trolling but the only reason it works is because everyone could imagine an actual Christian writing & posting it.

 

[Truthy]

The letter and her page screw it up the same way, capitalizing seemingly random nouns, pronouns and verbs in specific noun phrases. Not, say, failing to properly capitalize a heading or words in a list or other common errors.

I don't know, stylistically if you read the letter and then immediately read the go fund me page it just "sounds" the same.

I agree that they're similar, both in errors and style, but the resemblance doesn't seem so uncanny as to make it highly suspicious. I understand what you mean about them sounding the same, but a lot of comments on facebook, news articles, and even that gofundme page read like that. Most people think all pronouns need to be capitalized and enjoy capitalizing seemingly random words for emphasis. Their writing styles tend to be choppy and unorganized, with periods signaling when they paused to think about what they wanted to say next.

"Your kind" strikes me as evidence of BS, as it's a well known redneck cliche.

 

[Borachio]

This is plainly a double (or maybe triple, I'm not sure) bluff.

I think the Christian community are behind this in an effort to discredit the gay community by making it look like they're faking letters of complaint from the "Christians".

But I could be wrong. It may be a conspiracy by the gay community to discredit the Christian community by making it look like they're pretending that the gays are faking letters of complaint from the "Christians".

Or it could be a conspiracy by the rainbow manufacturing companies to sell more (or less) product to parties who otherwise must remain nameless.

Frankly, I'm baffled.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I'm not seeing a conspiracy here. Lots of people use incorrect grammar and capitalization, and in some cases this is a regional thing.

What I want to know is why the colors in her display are not in the right order. Red should be the leftmost one, but it isn't. If she's trying for a rainbow, it didn't come out right.

 

[Antilogic]

That letter is so laughable I want to believe it is fake, but there is a reasonable chance it is real.

I am interested that every other reddit post leads to a GoFundMe posting for thousands of dollars. How do I get in on this action?

 

[Goodfella]

How can she spend that much money decorating? Remodeling?

 

[Antilogic]

How can she spend that much money decorating? Remodeling?

I think a giant rainbow neon sign would do it.