ZPNES in space...

[Daftpanzer]

Update 4

Space Battle # 1 - War begins between the Highland Cows and the Imperial Army of Catholic Nuns. The Highland Cow’s three spaceships attack La Patria, where the Nuns have now built two warships and an explorer. The Nuns fight fiercely. But the Highland Cows also have superior technology. In the chaotic battle, the Nuns lose both their warships, but the Highland Cows also lose two. The Nun’s explorer ship escapes to deep space.

La Patria is now helpless, but the Highland Cows don’t have any troops to invade with. They can bomb the planet from orbit, however.

Deep space is full of spaceships. Explorers from Penguinska, Xtream Empire, Alliance of Fruits and the Naaru Continuum all find new planets.

However, on Unnamed Red Planet #1, the Alliance of Fruits discovers a population of two billion Killbots! They are currently deactivated and in underground bunkers. Will they activate if the planet is colonised? Who can say…

A rare mineral find contributes +1 minerals to the Naaru Continuum.

Purple Juppie’s population boom causes problems. People get unhappy in the overcrowded cities. Perhaps for this reason, four billion Fruit Troopers are trained and deployed to keep order on the streets.

Tech:
Penguinska’s tech penguins invent some nifty new subspace teleporters. These will help their ships escape from combat if they are losing.

Diplo:
From Space Hamsters, to Alliance of Fruits:
We are interested in trade and we would like to view your ‘romantic’ movies. We will visit your planet once we build another explorer ship to trade with.

From Space Hamsters, to Highland Cows and Penguinska:
We will paint ourselves in black and white if this makes you happy.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

You needn't paint yourselves hamsters. In the interest of variety, we are abandoning the racist policies of our predecessors.

"What predecessors?"

"Why, us yesterday of course."

"Aaah."

 

[alex994]

Oh the agony of being poor

Panda Orders:

Build an explorer ship and send her bravely into where no panda has been before!

Research better ways to use bamboo to produce materials.

 

[#1 Person]

There are some large furry cows, the actual Highland Cows, but those are the lower classes.

 

[#1 Person]

“This is the Rebirth of Venus calling the Pride of Scotland, do you come in!” Cowmunications Cowmander Over said chaotically for the upteenth time, starring at black sensor screen.

He repeated this message again, and again. It was right after the battle against the nuns, and although the Cowian Ships were far superior in numbers and technology, they still took heavy losses, but eventually won the battle. Last they heard in an hour from the Pride of Scotland was that they were banged up pretty bad and venting oxygen. Suddenly, out of the crackling sound that resonating EMP from there weapons made on com frequency, a voice says, “Yeah, yeah, I was in the field a pooping!” Supreme Cowmander Later's Voice crackled. She was, of course, refereeing to the large field that is used as a lavatory found in all ships, including, in this case, the escape pod. Within minutes her small ship docked with the Rebirth of Venus and she was walking into the bridge.

The bridge was a room surrounded by screens and flashing light, but no input controls were anywhere to be seen. “So, what do you know, what do these tell us” she says, pointing at a panel of flashing yellow lights.

“As you can see, they are blinking out of sequence, what should we do?” a technician says.

“Well make them blink in sequence!” S.C. Later says firmly, “How is the ground war coming?”

“Ground war?” Over says questioningly, “... oh, we forgot to bring troops with us!'

“For reals? Dude! MAJOR OVERSIGHT! What is up?!” Later, clearly aggravated, responds.

“So how are we going to take the planet?” Later says after a full diagnostic check of the ships systems.

“Actually, according to the International Astronomical Union, the planet is not a planet for the following reasons;” Over explains, “It does not appear to orbit any sun, nor does it seem to dominate the orbit that it is on.”

“Man, I have no idea what you are talking about, and i don't really think I want to.” she responds

 

[Lord_Iggy]

"Yes, that is rather odd, isn't it?"

"What?" asked Gris.

"Oh, just discussing some things with our bovine friends."

"So what was it?"

"Have you noticed that there are no suns around here?"

"Hmm... I never noticed that until now. Odd."

"Indeed."

The two pondered this discovery for a moment before Trik entered.

"Have you ever noticed that there's a voice narrating us?" asked Trik.

"It's probably all in your head. Get some sleep.

Yes. It is in your head Trik.

"There! It did it again! It's talking to me!"

"What did what-huh?"

Trik made a gurgling sound in his throat, shuddered a little, then sat down.

"Aaanyway, we should plan out our next turn's plans."

"Turn? Huh? What do you mean 'turn'?"

"I mean-"

Trik was suddenly interrupted by a tall Yukonner wearing a blue hoodie and jeans, wielding an anti-meta ray. He blasted the penguin and ran off.

"-our plans for the next little while... until we decide to plan again."

"You're getting wierder by the second."

"And stupider. But we're getting sidetracked. First order of business. The new planet."

"Trikland! Let's settle it!"

"Trikland it is. Done."

"Secondly, we could get more use out of Tekkworld."

"Agreed. I'll get my penguins setting up mines immediately."

"Don't forget defenses." interjected Trik.

"Good point. Look at the power of our juggernaut hamster neighbours."

"They have 1 military vessel. And they're our allies."

"Well then... how about the- Pandas!"

"None."

"The Xtreme-"

"No."

"Naaru-"

"Nada."

*some time later*

"...and The Space Zombie Nuclear Apocalypse Empire!"

"That one has some."

"The fruits too. And the Throne of Lies. The threat is too big to ignore!"

"Agreed. We'll build a military ship."

"And..."

"That's all."

"Are you serious? That's all it took? We must have missed something."

"I could have summarized it."

Penguinskan Orders
Settle Unnamed Grey Planet #4. Name it Trikland.
Build a Mine on Tekkworld.
Build a Warship, the Snowpenguin.

Give me the Warship Yeti that I paid for last turn (orders on page 3)

 

[Dreadnought]

Throne orders:

build ships, loads of ships, and attack the imperial army

 

[Daftpanzer]

i really like these stories thanks for posting them, and the orders. I might make an update later tonight, or tommorrow.

@Lord_Iggy, srry for not building that warship. But I checked and i didn't deduct any materials for it, either. So im afriad i have to ask you to wait for enough materials first.

 

[BananaLee]

"Yum, yum"
Lemonhead was chewing on a banana (remember, fruits and veggies are our friends - make sure you eat 5 servings a day) while the hum of the FJE Fagfy.. hummed around him.
"So, once you're done eating I want you to go check out the Space Hamsters." This God of theirs was really persistent. Doesn't he have anything better to do?
"What about them?"
"Well, they'd like to see romantic movies. They are lovely after all. It's my gift to mankind!"
Lemonhead could only blink, but then he got his wits about him, "Just a question if I may, oh Lord."
"Shoot."
"Why the heck do all the soldiers down there look ... well.. like me?"
"Umm.. er... Gotta go, see you around!" And the voice was gone. Lemonhead sighed - he wished the soldiers didn't look like him, after all he felt he was the coolest Fruityman, and now he was.. common!

Meanwhile, on board the FJS Pineapple Lumps...

Captain Peewee Kiwi looked up at the poster he had just placed on the viewscreen of his ship's bridge. He liked it there.

"Nice poster... But you DO know you need to look out right?"
That booming voice? Why does he keep on talking in my head? "Let me guess, BananaLee again."
"It's me."
"My doctor told me your don't exist. You're but a pigment of my imagination."
"Figment"
"Well, I knew that. Anyway, you're not real. Go away."
"How dare you say I'm not real!? I'm your God <echo,echo,echo>. I've spoken with apes more polite than you.."
"Well *God*, I'm glad you attended your family reunion."

Sudden, long and uncomfortable silence.

"ANYWAY, I want you to take the Pineapple Lumps to that new red planet we found. Hopefully take out a couple of killerbots by orbital bombardment."
"Why me?"
You're the only ship the UAF has, you foo. But don't despair, I'll get a politer Captain for the next ship we have. She'll be called the FJS Starburst Sucks."
"What's up with you and naming ships after New Zealand candy?"
"Are you questioning your God?"
"Aren't I?"
"Well, just go kill some killabots."

<fast forward to killabot planet>
"Hey killabots! You make me want to puke!"
"You make me think someone already did."
And so, the insult fight started to determine the fate of Unnamed Planet #1

 

[tossi]

The Illu-Kazhr Orders

-build a mine!

 

[Daftpanzer]

I sense this experiment has died

Heres one more update, anyway. If this is the end, thanks for all the input and the great stories

Update 5

Deep space was full of ships from various planets, blundering around with no orders.

The Highland Cows’ surviving warship lingered menacingly over La Patria, but it too had no orders. No bombardment took place. But then, the armada from the Throne of Lies arrived, and launched it’s own massive bombardment of the planet, for no apparent reason. Vast devastation was caused, though nothing was really destroyed, because the Nuns hadn’t built anything. Several billion people were killed, however.

The Penguinska empire colonised its second new planet, Trikkworld. The penguins now control three planets and their expansion show no signs of slowing down…

FJS Pineapple Lumps bombarded Unnamed Red Planet #1 for months on end, destroying one billion of the sleeping killbots. Another billion remain in their underground bunkers, apparently still inactive.

With no orders, the Xtream Empire’s explorer ship carried on exploring, and did not settle Unnamed Green Planet #1. The Fruit alliance quickly claimed the planet for themselves and brought in two billion extra colonists from their homeworld.

Three billion Fruit Troopers then descended on the undefended Planet of the Rock Gods. The planet was raided. The Fruit Troopers carried off this turn’s materials income from the planet, and kidnapped two billion people to be used as slave labour on Purple Juppie. One billion Fruit Troopers were lost due to accidents and local resistance fighters - a volunteer force of one billion Xtream Troopers has been created by the Xtream people, to help guard their planet in future.

The pandas built an explorer ship and found another green world. However, this planet is already home to an early-industrial civilisation. They could probably be conquered and enslaved quite easily, this would require some troopers being sent to the planet.

The Space Zombies launch their fourth warship…

Meanwhile, a Space Hydra suddenly appeared in deep space! According to our scans, it is a match for two or three warships. It seems that it will randomly attack ships in deep space, until it is destroyed...

No random tech discoveries this turn.

Notes:
@Dreadnaught, you couldn’t build any more warships yet, because you haven’t got any infrastructure and have low income at the moment.

@alex994, Pandas already had a random invention boosting production. Research into the use of Bamboo for building spaceships was unsuccessful

@tossi, Ilu-Kazhr’s home planet was full of buildings, its population couldn’t support any more. So the bio-dome was dismantled and replaced with a mine, for free.

@Lord Iggy, I built a factory on that planet instead of the mine, since I changed the rules for mines (see below).

@BananaLee, I used up your explorer ship to colonise the green world. So it couldn’t trade with the hamsters. Also, I didn’t build the next warship yet since you didn’t have enough.

The ‘rules’ for mines/ore didn’t really make much sense. So its now this:
Mines give +1 materials per factory on most planets. On red planets, mines also make 1 materials by themselves. On other planets, mines don’t make any materials by themselves, and are pretty much useless without factories there. Only one mine can be built per planet.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

No, this isn't dead Daft! I'm just working on my update and other things right now.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Penguinskan Orders
Build a factory on Trikland. (shouldn't the new factories improve my income?)

Build a scoutship and colonize Unnamed Green Planet 2. Name it Grisplanet. If the Pandas beat me to it, set up a rival colony.

If there's some leftover stuff, build the IPS Icetitan (specifically, this money goes into building a warp portal to summon the ship from the past of ZPNES).

Investigate the presence of a red Triplane on unnamed Green Planet 2 with the IPS (Imperial Penguinskan Ship) Snowpenguin.

Get Gris to slap Daftpanzer if he closes this NES.

 

[#1 Person]

Highland Cow Orders:

Use all moneys to build mines and factories.

Set up trade networks.

Have the Rebirth of Venus return to home planet.

 

[Dreadnought]

THRONE

Build more things for economic advancement.

Note for our ships:

ATTACK, ADVANCE, DESTROY

 

[BananaLee]

To the Space Hamsters
We're looking forward to your trade ship to come along *big grin*

 

[Silver Steak]

Just lurking...

 

[Daftpanzer]

thanks for the new orders! Ill make at least one more update, soon... Ive got DNES2 to be update right now.

edit: BTW, @ Dreadnaught - your ships cant really do anything more to La Patria (Nun's planet) - would need some ground troops to conquer it. Unless you just want to bomb it to pieces.

 

[Xtream_Rockstar]

wow ive been on vaction so here are me orders

build a Warship

 

[carmen510]

Name: The Confederacy of Zarifa
Leader: President Ku Wan Do
Government: Democracy, like the United States
Red Planet: Sarsdan

Story

President Ku Wan Do looked outside of the cold window. He saw his fellow men, toiling for food, water, hope. The apocalyptic nuclear fallout of our old Doridan planet, green pastures, civilized men, computers with no games (kidding), what was not to love? However, a single civilization changed that world, the old Martian Confederacy of Man. Eager to exploit our resources, they detonated 100 nukes on the surface. Only 100 of us survived.

Ku Wan Do straightened up. He reminded himself of the task at hand, to help arm the masses, and protect them. In the old remains of the Zantayamato, the old warship that transported us here, people still lived there, within rackety-shack shelters. Ku Wan Do was reminded, to begin harvesting the rich mineral deposits, here on Dasqat. Zarifa, our old leader, had given us the strength to survive, and the hope to endure. However, seeds of despair were sown, yet no food was. (sown) He had scientists working on the bare red ground of this planet. The city named Zafria, had been formed. Yet, was it a city? Or was it a village? Or perhaps, was it the work of ordinary peoples, who would dominate the planets?

Orders:

Ku Wan Do wants Mine, Factory, and Habitat. The Mine shall be henceforth known as the Great Mammoth Mouth Mine. The Habitat is Zafria.