Large Mafia Game- The Dinner Party

Defense Attorney:
"Your honor, my client is clearly mentally ill. He's not competent to stand trial. I request that the charges against him be dismissed and that he be sent to a minimum security facility which can take care of his special needs."


Judge:
"On what grounds could your client be found mentally incompetent?"


Defense Attorney:
"He's convinced that a fantasy world he's created has become real. He is a long time player and host of a game called 'Mafia'. Basically, there are two sides, one with more participants, and the other...."


Judge:
"I'm familiar with the game. I've played it myself.


Defense Attorney:
"As I was saying, he was hosting one of these games and it seems that when a real serial killer showed up and began murdering his guests, he began to get suspicious, tried to solve the murders on his own without asking anyone for help, and began to lose his mental stability. When it was found out that half of his guests were dead, we think the stress of that traumatic revelation caused him to snap. He was clearly acting in what he thought was his own best interest, and the interest of his party guests, when he took that chainsaw and brutally decapitated Romanichine."


Judge:
"Some witnesses said he was still somewhat capable of telling the difference between the game and the real events."


Defense Attorney:
"Your honor, I'm not a fancy, big city lawyer or anything. But I do know that my client is presumed innocent until proven guilty. This is an innocent man, who cracked under the stress of hosting several games and being ruthlessly beaten in several others, whose long hours of reading threads, posting wild, baseless cases, and performing deep analysis that solves nothing, while living in the lamest, poorest part of the Orlando crack ghetto without even the slightest hint of female contact, eventually led to this debilitating mental breakdown we can clearly see today."





Professor Askvaard Von Pizzaguy:
"I WANNA RIDE THE PONY! Come in Houston, the space shuttle is coming in for a crash landing in the ocean... prepare the buckets of cole slaw to cushion the impact! Send the fire ships to put out the fires! CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWOOOOOP BWWOOOOOOOP! I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there’s no one anywhere that seems to know what to do with us. Now into it. We know the air is unfit to breathe, our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had 15 homicides and 63 violent crimes as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We know things are bad. Worse than bad. They’re crazy. I’m working a single now, which means stretch-shifts, six to six, sometimes six to eight in the a.m., six days a week. It’s a hustle, but it keeps me busy. I can take in three to three-fifty a week, more with skims. I work the whole city, up, down, don’t make no difference to me – does to some. Some won’t take spooks – Hell, don’t make no difference to me. They’re all animals anyway. Don’t talk like one of them, you’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak – like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t… they’ll cast you out. Like a leper. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got 12 extra large pizzas? Look townies, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his sausage on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown! ALL ABOARD THE NIGHT TRAIN!!!!"



Defense Attorney:
"The defense rests its case."


Prosecution Attorney:
"I have nothing to add. He locked his own son alive in a refrigerator filled with flesh-eating insects after beating him within an inch of his life. He needs to be executed immediately, for the good of society and for HIS OWN SAKE, and you're all crazy if you can't see that for yourselves."


Judge:
"Unfortunately, you've just made their point for them. No sane person would do such a thing. I'm afraid I have to award custody of Askvaard Von Pizzaguy, born Herman Alouise Frinkle, alias Sergeant Peppercorn, alias Ragnar H. Dingleberry, to the Beaverhead County Calmness Sanctuary for the Criminally Interesting.


Professor Askvaard Von Pizzaguy:

"Clang ,clang, clang went the trolley
Ding, ding, ding went the bell...."

Standing on the steps outside the courthouse, Mr Fluffums is staring at Lady Weston-Hogues, who looks rather irritated.

Yes, yes, Mr Bloody-Smarty-Pants. You were right and I was wrong. Again. But I could've sworn Francis was the killer this time...

How much do I owe you now?

Mr Fluffums meows several times. Lady W-H looks downcast.

Sixteen million dollars? Where am I supposed to get that kind of money from? You've already had what was left of my trust fund...

Mr Fluffums shrugs, and climbs into a limousine, wherein a trio of glamorous lady-cats are waiting for him. As the stretch pulls away, two large men in dark suits appear either side of Lady Weston-Hogues.

Y-you're working for h-him now?

The suits nod.

And if I don't pay...?

The suits nod again. Lady Weston-Hogues gulps down a handful of pills, and whispers quietly to herself:

Damn you, Mr Fluffums. Damn your furry soul to hell!

I was a bit worried after that first writeup.

Awesome, awesome game.

Most excellent call, Camikaze! Thank you. I got called away from the computer before I could finish my thought process, but wound up in the same place as you. Hooray that it was right!

Thanks for the game Pizzadude, very brave of you to use your own High School graduation photo in the final write up.

This really was the best vanilla game I've played or seen, by far. Congrats to the survivors, and to Joecoolyo.

I survived to the end!

Thanks to ATPG for hosting a good game

So the is why I was really dead.

Beaverhead County Calmness Sanctuary for the Criminally Interesting.

9:00 AM: Von Pizza begins to talk to his cellmate
"I guess I'm going to be here a while........maybe longer than a flapjack to cook on a sidewalk in the moonlight"

Cellmate: deafening silence
Von Pizza: "yes yes, I know that shank wound I gave you hurts a bit, but it was all in good fun! I heard the cafeteria will serve pizza today. ISN'T THAT GRRRRRREEEEAAAAAATTTTT?"

The cellmate's body lay motionless, with blood all over the floor.
Von Pizza: "Yes, yes, I hear you. You've already stated many many times you don't think Joecoolyo should have survived that lynch. Some odd knight fellow insisted the same thing. I was going to give him that knights body armour that all stereotypical rich mansions have in their hallways, but he kept on saying it was just a helmet and the helmet was a chamberpot.

The guards came in, and asked ATPG what happened and if he shanked his cellmate. Von Pizza just whistled "the pizza man caaannn, the pizza man cannn". With a handsome bribe, the guards ruled it a suicide.


So, summed up my thoughts on dead QT but:

1) hilarious game. fantastic updates
2) winston deserves a medal. very funny
3) a pretty solid innocent win, and the townies used logic and reasoning skills to do so! The scum didn't play bad so it ended up as a quite fair and fun game.
4) I already have complained about joecoolyo surviving that lynch incessantly, so no reason to repeat it here. But he should not have survived that lynch .
5) still not a fan of large vanilla games, but it definitely was fun. Probably because I was able to live for a while. sucksorz for the people who died early on.

Kennigit, why did you lie about being a limited vigilante to me? What possible reason could you have for doing such a thing?

oh yeah, forgot about that.

Well I thought at that point you were a scum. Not for silly night 2 shenanigans that I joked about in-thread, but because I thought the mafia would encourage vigilantes to go out and kill/would be distracting about the game. In fact, my case against jarrema was because he was name dropping you saying "as zack pointed out, there could be a lot of explanations for what is going on" and jarrema had talked about the existence of cult/vigilantes/whatever. To be fair he didn't know what was going on and as the mafia recognised very early they weren't the only two scum (they were under some mistaken impression on what joe was though).

Since I was under the assumption dead players could always still be talking after they died, I wanted to get killed and accuse you. Or also, as was in our PM conversations, I wanted you to go around acting like a vigilante and get yourself killed. Doesn't really matter who died, I wanted a mafia to get WIFOM'd. However you died like right after that and you didn't come in the thread talking about it, so I assumed it was a coincidence kill and that strategy fell apart.

edit- also, acting like a vigilante I wanted to "test" names with you if you were scum. I'd say "i'm thinking of killing BSmith tonight" and if you objected oddly, it'd indicate you and BSmith were mafia partners. Even after you died, I wanted to try making a fake bandwagon for the mafia to join in lynching myself, where I told 3 other innocents that "I had lied to zack" and to use that to lynch me.

After those 3 votes on my "bandwagon" I wanted to see people's reactions, and even though you were dead I was assuming you'd comment that I lied to you as well. Jarrema was certainly also caught for trying to mask his votes too much with namedropping "I'd like to hear from choxorn" or stuff like that. I anticipated a scum would say "I'd like to hear what zack says about Kennigit lying to him"

It would be foolish as a scum to draw so much attention to myself, especially for something that could very well mean the death of my partner or I (a vigilante killing every night).

yeah, but I was under the impression the game was more like 4 "Scum" and maybe a couple "power townies" with weird mechanics. Scum can be incompetent so thought I could try to get one of them to be stupid (this is in regards to the edit in my last post, where I thought I could make a fake bandwagon where I actually did legitimately lie to you). I was perfectly willing to even get myself lynched since the mafia would be rope-happy on a townie who actually did make a lie to another townie. I mean, joecoolyo was kind of suspicious for sweeping in at the end of every phase for a vote; I think he or a scum like that would definitely be happy to try to lynch me.

And I didn't expect you to fall for anything, but eh, who knows. Private communication wasn't allowed with the "dead" so I thought may as well PM some people while I'm alive.

It was also just fun; it was a vanilla game and there wasn't a ton to "do" as a vanilla.

Woohoo, a great game for a great victory!

Comments: I'm really surprised I lived this long, especially long enough to nab a great victory, I was sure I was going to be picked off for not really doing anything about halfway through. So basically once I neared my victory, I went into "screw you" mode and just started messing with the town with weird votes, making fun of their arguments, etc., just for the fun of it. I had already pretty much won, and the town started to get kinda wise nearing the end, so I wasn't going to get an outstanding victory, I decided to have a bit of fun instead. Which is why I found it hilarious when they started analyzing my voting patterns to see if I was scum

Great game to all, I had a lot of fun murdering a good lot of you

Very good game!
I especially appreciate Kennigit's analysis against me: it was brilliant! It was like you was inside my head! Kennigit, you have just guessed my whole thought process. It was not luck that you got me.
I also think that Roman's play was really good. I feel he was very good mafia.

And, of course, it is best mafia game I ever play! And the writeups... worth Nobel prize!

Really. Good. Game. Oh, and after a while (when I was really dead), I had a feeling that Romanichine was a mafia (which I got right ).

*rofl*

You're so lucky, Town, that I was confused by the setup, thinking that there was more than one real mafia, and that the real game was finding them, not me. I would never have killed BSmith and Arakhor otherwise. As I said in the QT, I was sparing Renata to have someone make the right vote on the next day.

Somehow I thought that I was Town, like most of us, and we were really fighting against Joe and his team, and that after the Askvaard game, I would turn Town, and help you all. Meh.

I gave you Joe on a platter, and bloody hell, he had enough kills to complete his wincon. Sucks to be me.

Congrats anyways,

Thanks to my partner Jarrema, was fun teaming with you and sorry about blowing the ending. Wish you were around to explain some stuff that I misunderstood.

Thanks for the game ATPG. Nice setup.

re romanichine: it was nice you got a free night/2 kills due to joecoolyo surviving a lynch

I'm never gonna stop complaining about that

Romanichine said:

I would never have killed BSmith and Arakhor otherwise.

Click to expand...

I’m glad my constant suspicion did something other than just prolong my life for a while!