.

[Flying Pig]

"Your tank was destroyed by a spearman!"

Someone even made a smiley fo that:

 

[ParadigmShifter]

madscientist had "Montezuma wins a Diplomatic Victory!!!" in one of his (losing) games. It was an AP win though for Monty so it wasn't totally nuts.

 

[Ai Shizuka]

The diplo XML is a cache of hidden treasures.


Napoleon refuses to talk:
"Talk to the massed artillery, [CT_NAME]."

Peter:
"Guards! Toss this villain out into the snow before I commit a diplomatic incident!"

Cathy:
"I find you strangely unattractive, [CT_NAME]. Do not return until you are better-looking."

Monty refuses peace:
"No. We have not yet sacrificed enough [CT_CIV_ADJ] warriors to slake the gods' unending thirst for blood. Try back later."

Mao:
"There can never be peace in the unending war between the people and the bloodsucking bourgoise capitalist opressors who seek to enslave them! That would be you, punk."

Hatty:
"Gods do not negitiate with mortals - particularly with ugly little slimeballs such as yourself. Go back to your home to await your doom."

Vicky:
"War is deeply unpleasant, but sometimes necessary. We're told that this is one of those times, so we must refuse your pleas. This interview is concluded."

Good old Genghis:
"Now? While everybody's having so much fun? I don't think so!"

Now this is one of my fav lines. From Cathy, obvously:
"I must refuse, [CT_NAME]; peace is not in our best interests at this time. Besides, I think that men in uniform look totally yummy, don't you?"


Friendly Roosevelt:
"How absolutely marvey to see you again, [CT_NAME]! Do sit down; my man will get you a Martini."

Friendly Montezuma:
"Welcome, friend [CT_NAME]! I will slaughter many slaves in celebration of your visit!"

Mao:
"On behalf of the great and glorious Communist Party of China and of all of her horrible little peasants - I mean, "glorious workers" - greetings!"

Louis:
"Welcome to my palace, [CT_NAME]. Care to watch me shave?"

Bismarck:
"[OUR_CIV_SHORT] salutes you, [CT_NAME]. Come - sit down and admire my huge mustaches!"

Peter:
"Mighty [OUR_CIV_SHORT] greets you in friendship, [CT_NAME]. And in a drunken stupor too."

Cathy:
"Welcome, [CT_NAME]. Is that a treaty in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"



Furious Saladin:
"What a surprise! I did not realize it was locust season once again."

Monte:
"Tell me, [CT_NAME]: what has [CT_CIV_SHORT] done to anger the gods so that they give them you as leader?"

Louis:
"Back again so soon, [CT_NAME]? How glorious. Imagine my excitement."

Huayna:
"It is a source of unending astonishment to me that the gods permit you to live, [CT_NAME]. Why are you here?"

Peter:
"Be brief, [CT_NAME]. I'm trying to give up hacking annoying people to death in a blind rage for Lent."



Peter demanding tribute:
"Give us this or our mighty Cossacks will roam across your ravaged country, burning your cities, stealing your pigs and making lewd gestures at your women!"

Cathy tribute demand:
"A present for me? Why, it's just what I wanted! How ever did you guess?"

Hatty:
"It is customary for puny mortals to show their devotion by giving their goddess a gift. Or if they prefer they can be cut into small pieces and fed to the royal crocodiles."

Alex:
"Do you choose to cravenly lick our boots and give us what we want, or to stand and fight us in a heroic but doomed last stand?"

A classic, Augustus demands tribute:
"Resistance is futile! Comply with our demands or face destruction!"

 

[Turquoiside]

All the ones from the old thread:

"It is far too late for peace you silly (culture) person! Now go away before I taunt you a second time!"
- Loius XIV (You left out the best part! I was at war with him too yesterday!)

"It is unending source of astonishment to me that the gods permit you to live, (your name). Why are you here?"
-Hauyana Capac

" *something....something* let us plot the slow and painful death of our enemies! Care for a smoked hamster?
- Huayna Capac

"What a surprise! I did not realize it was locust season once again!'
-Saladin

"And they call US barbarians?"
- Genghis Khan

"Speak quickly mortal, before I open up a can of divine wrath on you!"
-Who but Gilgamesh?

"*something* greets you with *something. And in a drunken stupor
-Peter
Ceasar also has an "Is it the Ides of March already?" comment, but I can't really recall it.

Another Russian one:

"Be brief, (your name). I'm trying to give up hacking annoying people to death in a blind rage for Lent
-Do I really have to say? It wasn't Catherine....


Stalin also has a "Come to submit to the glorious collective society of Russia?" line, but I don't have it pinned.

"Bow before me, (your name)! A godess deserves no less!

"Hello again (your name). How honored you must be to see me once more!
-Hatshepshut

A well-known one:
"Tell me (your name): What has (your nation) done to anger the gods so that they give them you as a leader?
-Montezuma

"Blessings be upon you, oh mighty (your name)! Your glorious personage bestows great honor upon my humble kingdom"
-Saladin

"Greetings mighty, (your name)! What brings you to might Rome today? Let's go over to the Coliseun and watch a bunch of prisoners get eaten by wild animals, shall we?"
-Augustus, possibly Julius, Caesar

"Come to grovel at our feet, eh? Well go ahead!"
-Pacal II

"I find you starangely uattractive, (your name). Do not return until you are better-looking
-Who but Catherine?

Well, most of those were negative, and a lot of the people here would kill anyone with negative relations too quickly to see it, Or they don't pay attention, and our too busy demanding their next technology.

"How's that nice, little, undefended civilization you have going there (player)?

-Shaka

"Talk to the ceremonial blade, (player)
-Montezuma

"How many hanging chads did it take to get YOU into office?"
-Cyrus

"It's people like you who give ruthless dictators a bad name. Why are you here?"

"China will not listen to your bourgoise lies!"

-Mao Zedong

"Greetings, (player name)! Who shall we betray and destroy today?"
-Qin Shi Huang



Darius has one similar to Pacal, only he adds "What is it this time?"

 

[Tecibbar]

Caesar - "Would you like some Salad? I made it myself."
Julius: why are you here, is it the ides of march already?

I don't get those jokes, someone please explain?

 

[CCRunner]

A Caesar Salad is a type of salad.

The ides of march is the fifteenth of march, the date Julius was assassinated.

 

[Tecibbar]

Julius: why are you here, is it the ides of march already?

So, that was said in self pity? don't hear that from AI often

 

[Crime Doesn't Pay]

I was playing final frontier and I got this after agreeing to a deal and I burst out laughing:
"You are the boost beneath my thruster"
or something like that

 

[Bowsling]

"Look what the cat dragged in", made even more funny by the fact that my cat actually walked in to the room the first time that happened to me
anyone annoyed or furious
Feel free to grovel in terror and awe if the mood takes you"
Ramesses, when you first meet him. even funnier when I demolished him with immortals the next turn
"Guards! Toss this villain out in the snow before I commit a diplomatic incident"
on the floor laughing the first time I saw that one

 

[CDC989]

"Whaddup, dog?"
Huayna Capac

 

[AlphaShard]

Julius: why are you here, is it the ides of march already?

So, that was said in self pity? don't hear that from AI often

More like he thinks you are a traitor to him.

 

[globaooba]

Caesar - "Would you like some Salad? I made it myself."

first time i saw that i was drinking and i spewed all over my computer desk

 

[Civman33]

Holy... 3 years.

Hey, who's your friend right above my post? Amenhotep?

 

[ParadigmShifter]

I think the funniest I have seen was

"Gandhi has declared war on Shaka!".

Gandhi only had about 4 cities as well and needless to say he capitulated soon after.

 

[AlphaShard]

Joao: "Nobody ever listens to me."

Right after I told him no he can't have one of my Techs. It just amused me, he also handed me over a city as well that my culture was begining to take over, he's not a very agressive Ruler is he?

 

[CDC989]

"Catherine? I like him."

 

[Randomrandy]

"1601 Ad Barbarian has completed The Hanging Gardens!"

These are funny.

 

[lermfish]

(Playing as the Japanese)
"You have founded Confucianism!"

I just love founding every single religion, even Judaism+Christianity, etc.

It's even better when playing as a completely unrelated civ.

 

[Turquoiside]

Double Post.

 

[Turquoiside]

De Gaulle has funny tribute lines....


(De Gaulle has) Lower Power Rate: The honor of France demands that you provide us with the following. If it isn't too much trouble, that is.
Equal Power Rate: The honor of France demands that you provide us with the following. We really mean it this time.
Higher Power Rate: The honor of France demands that you provide us with the following. Or we'll destroy you.


Also Pericles has a unigue spin on the Illiad line:
Pericles: Beware of Greeks demanding gifts, [CT_NAME].</