A Million Ways To Die In The Wasteland

Decamper · Nov 7, 2015

Tie breaker says option 3.

Lord_Herobrine · Nov 8, 2015

Option 3!

Warriorx1 · Nov 8, 2015

option 3 why not

gay_Aleks · Nov 11, 2015

Break Writer's bloc with friends! Vault-Tec assures you that, with a friend, no bloc will stay there.

-----

Link to video.

Spoiler Ur Stats :

12nd of April. 17:30. Probably.

"This is nonsense. America is still alive. The nukes destroyed the pre-War government, but America lives on in the hearts of peo-"

"Do you really think that? I once went aboveground. The friendly, "civilized" people of Spring tried to kill me, claiming that this is a "no-ghoul zone". So, I went out to...Field? Really? In any case, they tried to eat me. They thought I was a walking steak. Is this America? As a Vault Dweller, you and I know the answer well. It is not...So please, just let me hold into this final last remnant of it?" [Speech challenge:FAILED!]

"Could you at least led the way? We don't want to be lost."

"Yeah, ghoulie! Do you want your bones or not? Just show us the way, and we'll do it!"

"Oh, well, the least I could do..." [Speech challenge: Success! 5 exp!]

You follow him after the long, winding corridors, with plenty of twists and turns that the museum has to offer. At some point, you reached a dead end. There were four bodies, brutally maimed by ghouls. Their weapons were snapped in half and were covered in rust.

What was more important however was the band of ghouls. They were, apparently eating the last pitiful remains of the bodies. Probably not enough grey matter left inside to climb up...or just waiting for the next fool to wander in and devour him to the bone.

"Glowing One!" Elise whispered

"What?"

Sometimes, there's things Vault Dwellers notice right from the start, like huge vats full of green goo. Or angry power armoured people armed with mini-guns. However, ghoulish curators also notice some things first, then others last. In this case, it was doom for him, because he saw a coffin, but not the ghouls. At first, you don't understand why he charged at it. Then you make out "ABR LIN" engraved on the side...but too late!

The glowing one lurched at his chest, just as he's about to try and haul off the coffin. It makes a sweeping motion, which almost gracefully beheads him. His head, alongside his top hat flew right towards you...and you grabbed it. No reason why, but you did. You saw a head in a top hat flying at near-terminal speed, and you took it. [One Top Hat Acquired!]

Unfortunately, this has some curious consequences. The ghouls have a refined taste in meat. And their favourite meat is brain meat. In essence, you're heading out with what is the special on the menu.

"You're an idiot." was all that Elise said.

"Let's leave that for later, shall we?"

You rush for the stair, following the Pipboy map, and hoping that you're going the right way. The ghouls, being relentless, and dead as they are, continue chasing after you. You can feel your breath entering your lungs like burning fire, and your legs are slowly starting to lose strength. You know. It's the moment, where you just can't escape.

"Well, it's time to fiiiiree!" you yell

You both fire your guns. One ghoul falls down [-3 10mm bullets], 3 left to go...but now they're too close. One of them takes a swipe at your head, but you do manage to dodge. Unfortunately, he hits your hand, instead. [-5 HP] You return the favour by swinging at his head with your bat. It flies off. Meanwhile, Elise is doing well for herself, shooting down a ghoul and keeping one at a respectable distance with well-timed kicks. The final one doesn't even realize what happens as you put a baseball bat through his chest with the strength you have left. [+15 EXP! Yay yay yay!]

"Now...could you please...Tell me why the bloody hell did you do that?!"

"Top...hat...top...hat.." you respond, barely breathing

"Is this...the time for fashion?"

"What better? We're re-imaging a legend. Lincoln! Top hat! He could be dressed in Lincoln's actual clothes, but if the top hat isn't there, it'll be all for naught!"

"Okay, but he still needs some sort of appropriate clothing. He can't go out into some random wastelander's clothing, after all!"

"Luckily, we looted the dead corpse of the guy who got sniped down. It's black and official, nobody will see the difference. I hope."

"We still need to find the...Immolation Precaution and the Getty's Burger Address?"

You've just escaped a hellish encounter with ghouls. Oh, and Lincoln's costume is most likely ripped apart. You do have his top hat, however...What should you do?

1) Ditch this place. Find another way to escape

2) We barely did our jobs, how could we leave?

3) Use your fancy Vault education to write the speech from memory, while fleeing away from this mausoleum! You'd like to hear Brad calling History unimportant again!

----

Your Overseer apologizes for sudden loss of productivity. Too many games, not enough work.

SouthernKing · Nov 11, 2015

Option 3

Defacto · Nov 11, 2015

Option 3

Grandkhan · Nov 12, 2015

Option 3!

Nobody'll know the difference!

jackelgull · Nov 12, 2015

Option 2

thomas.berubeg · Nov 12, 2015

Option 3!

Lord_Herobrine · Nov 12, 2015

Option 2

Warriorx1 · Nov 12, 2015

Option .... 2

gay_Aleks · Nov 14, 2015

Link to video.

Spoiler Ur Stats :

19:30. Springfield. Literally.

"Screw that. Any minute longer spent in this bloody place full of cement and ghouls and I'll go feral, myself!"

"I can get behind that notion. But still, how will we get out of here?"

"Well, I think that "LAY LOW IN THE MUSEUM" poster will help us."

You look at the poster. It seems tattered, but there is a map.

LAY LOW IN THE MUSEUM...

THERE WON'T BE A NUCLEAR WAR, RIGHT? <tattered>

VAULT-TEC HAS ESTIMATED THE CHANCE FOR NUCLEAR WAR IS <tattered>

BRIGHT FUTURE <tattered>
UNDERGROUND

SO IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF OUTSIDE A VAULT? DO WHAT? <tattered> LINCOLN'S MAUSOLEUM IS A VAST NETWORK CONNECTING <tattered> WITH SPRINGFIELD.

"Never change, Vault-Tec. OK, according to this map, the easiest way to get out of here is..via the stairs. Which just collapsed. Oh, well, so it seems...oh, dear, we'll have to go through the left, then to the right, and then take a turn in the stairs at the left...and then reach City Water, Light & Power of Lake Springfield."

"This sounds like a great idea. How are we going to explain to the friendly people with the assault rifles and combat armours? "Oh, sorry, we just got lost?" I think we'll spend some time in 3x3 cells."

"Well, it's so very simple. We make sure we sneak out. And let no one see us. Absolutely no one."

And so, you headed out. It wasn't easy. You got lost fairly frequently, and as it turns out, relying on 180 year old lights isn't an exactly solid plan. Eventually, you reached a door. It said CITY OF SPRINGFIELD WATER, LIGHT AND POWER. Clearly, where you're supposed to go through...

But then you hear footsteps. Someone's on patrol... You sneak silently. He turns around, but moments before he sees you, you manage to sneak into a room. Some sort of a storage room. A place which will provide you safety. Hopefully.

You also notice an air duct. Of course. There's always air ducts. This kind of places always has some. You crouch and prepare to wade through the dark, and rather uncomfortable to walk through, even crouched, "corridors". And then, it just ends. There's a rusty metal railing that you can push down with relative ease. Then, you hear voices...

"Larry! For the thousandth time, why did you place Chipset 231 on a Protectron? These are meant for Mr. Handy, not for a Protectron. Look, you just get Chipset 113, and insert it in, nice and gentle an- ARRGh"

A sudden electrical surge pulsed through his arms. The Protectron started shaking violently. Larry and his superior ran out, moments before the Protectron explodes and pukes out its metallic components into the room. You thought it was a good moment to break the railing, hide amongst the crates, and continue sneaking through...

Just as you drop down, it seems Larry and the chief engineer (presumably.) entered again.

"Jesus. Another robot down. And whole place's a mess. The only mess bigger than that is when we tried to re-wire the turrets that were left here! We should leave now.."

They exit. You wait for their footsteps to quiet down in the distance. Then you keep on sneaking. As you approach the corridor, a guard comes out. You try to make a jump on him, but he's quicker, and he bats you on the head with the stock. You try to run, but another guard comes around and stuns you. You're falling down to the ground. [-5 HP. Head slightly crippled.]

It's all pitch black. You're dreaming. Or having a flashback.

"I hope to God this isn't when all your life flashes back in front of your eyes, right before you die."

"No. Actually, did you know that in the infinite universe, there's a female version of you?" a female voice suddenly spoke. Also, it appeared. It was you, actually. But in a female shape. Which, to be fair, means that it's you and not-you, at the same time. When genders change, it's all confusing. Probably.

"Uh, what?"

"Oh, and that a portion of that mindset from the woman that is "you" retains into you?"

"Goddamnit, just how hard did that stock hit me? I hope I won't have memory loss. Or I hope. There's several things I'd like to forget."

"Hey, hey, I'm not that strange, just meet the "repressed sexual urges" ghost, hey he.."

You open your eyes. A dark room with no real lightning is in front of you. It's all dark, or is this just your head being fuzzy? In any case, you can't really move...

"Hey, heey?" Elise looks at you, tied down at a chair.

"Ugh, this is only a slight improvement over trying to talk with myself...now.."

"Well, on the bright side, there's no guns pointed at us."

"And the bad side is...my head hurts...?"

"We're tied down, and most likely, about to be brutally interrogated."

A door opened. A buff man with an armour that has seen better days, probably at the bottom of a radioactive lake, and with weapons that, by the looks of his face, had no fear of using them if you made the mistake of making the wrong move.

"My name's Richard Blotfeld. I'm also responsible for security in Lake Springfield's Water, Power and Electricity. Now, if you could please, please explain me one thing...?" surprisingly, his voice wasn't ruff as you had expected it would be, although it did have warning notes that told you more than all of his words. If you answered with the wrong answers, your body and Elise's would be enjoying their final rest at the bottom of the lake.

"And-and that is..?"

"Just what the hell were YOU doing there? This door was supposedly underwater! We went in and investigated, and it was filled with bloody honest-to-god ghouls! Everywhere! Tell me now, or I'll make your life incredibly short. Trust me. You'll have no idea."

You are in the "special interrogation room" of Lake Springfield Water, Power and Electricity facility. You're about to get a beatdown, unless you respond correctly with...

1) Tell him the truth. Maybe it'll be just a flesh wound.

2) "We're simple scavengers, who were looking for treasure in Lincoln's house. But then the floor fell through and we were in a giant underground tunnel! We were really scared!" (Speech Challenge: ? Difficulty)

3) "A man in Field hired us to look for specific things from Lincoln's house, and told us about the underground museum. We had no idea the tunnels lead that far." (Speech Challenge: ? Difficulty)

4) "We actually lived in the tunnels. For years, we had no idea how far it leads. We fed on ghoul meat, irradiated as it was, but we thrived! Light hurts us! Back to tunnels!" (Speech Challenge: ? Difficulty)

----

Time to play "guess which option is the easiest".

SouthernKing · Nov 14, 2015

Option 3

Decamper · Nov 15, 2015

Option 4

thomas.berubeg · Nov 16, 2015

Option 4!

Omega124 · Nov 17, 2015

option one ofc

Grandkhan · Nov 17, 2015

Option 4 sounds hilarious honestly.

gay_Aleks · Nov 18, 2015

Link to video.
Have you ever felt like life's kickin' you in the 'ead? Well, this song is dedicated to all those people outside Springfield, IL, who are feelin' just like 'hat.

Spoiler Ur Stats :

8:40, PM. 13rd April. Meet the new day!

"Well, uh, mister Blotfed we're j-"

His face turns red. It seems he didn't especially appreciate your slight mistake, which turns his name into something completely different. Which is angering him. Probably won't lead to nothing good.

"What. DID. YOU. CALL ME?!"

After that, he jumps into a rather impressive mid-air kick, made even harder by his size. You'd be impressed, but instead you're far too busy reeling over the hard kick, which places hard, boiled leather against your face into a rather painful combination.

It appears however that this is also rather tiring. He pants, but he still has enough strength to lurch out at you. Oh, well, there goes your pretty face...

But then suddenly the door opens. A tall man, much weaker than Blotfeld, appeared. You thought that this will be the idiot that will accompany you on your long travel to the afterlife, as probably your favourite jack-booted thug probably doesn't enjoy being interrupted, yet...

"Stop."

"You...can't...stopme! This bastard willpay!"

"Please come outside. It seems..you need some further, ha, persuasion."

Clearly, this was who was calling the shots here. While he didn't have the physical strength, it seems a certain kind of authority's stemming from him...

"Big guy like this stopped? Seems like he's got somethin' on him." Elise said

"For sure..Anyway. How good are you at cringing at sunlight and screaming how it blinds you?"

"Wh-what?"

"Well, we're gonna put out a play for our dear friends outside. Perhaps we could make them believe that we're not a danger."

"Did you see that guy? He's like a snake! Probably ice flows through his veins, not blood! We're going to be so dead."

"No, look. This guy's waiting to have a reason to...take care of our favourite buff friend. We have to put on a very convincing spec-"

The door opened. Blotfeld and the tall man entered in. This time, he seemed a bit calmer than the five minutes you had vis-a-vis in four walls, but you had a feeling that this is merely a guise, and that his anger is just waiting for a reason. One reason.

"Let me introduce myself. You probably thought of me as "that tall man", but I do indeed have a name. I'm James Thompson. I...run this little lake and its facilities. And you are?" he said, imperviously

You take a deep breath. And...

"N-n-name? What is "name"?"

"We have never heard of this...what did you call it? Name?"

"Sir, they're bluffing. I'm quite sure both of them have names.."

"Hmph. Most intriguing..I've seen this before. Tribals that live in caves and go only out at night, fearing the "yellow orb". Unfortunately, they were less than receptive to study..." he said that, and rubbed an old scar. "Perhaps I can investigate this. It's thrilling. Tell me! Tell me more!"

"Please, sir, can't you see it?! They're fooling you!"

James Thompson was a smart man. He was the one controlling Lake Springfield and used it for power, water and lighting at night. But he was also a scientist. He had curiosity, which before, helped him; he managed to increase the efficiency of the old facilities to much greater levels. Unfortunately, he also suffered from a very specific kind of foolishness that people like Blotfeld didn't; he couldn't see when he was being played, even when it was patently obvious.

And you were imaginative. And a good liar. Especially when there's a grunt whose only desire is to punch you to death.

"We were born underneath. Thousands of lengths...Our parents were here, but then they died! Died!" you put all the lessons that the Vault 117 Amateur Filming Association. Which wasn't actually that much.

"For years, we ran away from ghouls, scavenged weapons and an outfit! Please, have mercy! Mercy!" Elise joined in.

"How intriguing. We must investigate their reaction to the sun.."

"Oh, for fu-"

"Please, leave. Now."

Blotfeld stormed off, ramming the door so hard it fell off its hinges. Explosive entrance, explosive exit. What can you say... You exit the building. The sun glares at you. How much you truly felt pain from the sun, and how much of it is part of the ruse, you don't know, but in any case, the scientist is very perplexed by your behaviour. For some reason, he also has taken your gear; perhaps to...investigate it?

You prepare to lurch at his throat...when someone suddenly...

"Well, well! I thought there were no slaves in Spring! And here we are, two test rats cringing!" a raider and his band yells at him. He is in a metal armour, bearing the marks of a great many battles, one of which was with something massive and with very sharp nails...He's followed by several other friendly, and rather scary raiders.

You feel awful. The more you spend in the sunlight, the more you get dizzy. The hit on your head, both by Blotfeld and the other soldiers have an effect on you. The world becomes a fuzzy mess of colours and voices.

"What are..."

"...Get them!"

"Why are you..."

"They will come..."

"...stay with..."

You hear voices like this. Who they belong to, you don't know. You regain your sight, and you see a rather concerning view. You're surrounded by a band of raiders. Their leader is looking at you. He's smiling. It's not a smile you'd like to see after laying down on the ground, nearly unconscious.

"Hey, hey, you're awake! And alive! Ya went out like a moth near a laser rifle, man!"

"Ugh...I...what?"

"Breathe, mate. Breathe. You have a really nice girlfriend right there, too! Real pretty face!" he winks at Elise, in a way he probably thinks is seductive, but even in your current stunned condition, you find it rather uncouth. "She's why we didn't beat you up 'til you wake up. We don't like shooting women." however his tone spoke that he probably did that. A lot.

"What do you want from us, ya freak?" Elise shouts at him.

"Wow, baby-girl, we just want some info!"

"Goddamnit, can't I have a rest? For one time, not to wake up with people wanting to kill me if I don't tell them the information they want?"

"Ha, real cutie! Joins up with the Unionists, expects everything to go smoothly...But we're humane. We'll give you a room at President's Armour, some time to think over...The question is..You found a way into Lake Springfield, and ya din't drown. Tell me how, and your life will be smoother than sailing in a radioactive puddle!"

"Er, boss, I think it's a wa-"

"Shut up. Lead him to his room."

Two friendly raiders with attitude escort you to your room. Clearly, you're not a prisoner of theirs so long as you don't think you're one.

In any case, the time after you rest is the time to discuss how to proceed next. Elise and you decide to...

1) ...It's evening now. Their senses are dulled. We could sneak out. [Sneak Challenge: Moderate. Probably.]

2) ...We could fool them. Tell them a false tale. Like before. This will work twice, right? [Speech Challenge: Hard]

3) ...In their faces, baby! They left our weapons, the fools! Bang-bangity-bang!

4) ...Tell them what you experienced.

5) ...Try to convince them to help the Unionists and use the passage only for the cause. [Speech Challenge: Don't Even Think About It.]

----

Phew! We're done. Now...Time for a different survey. Do you think I'm slowing down the Springfield "arc" too much and that I should have more haste so that you can see what terrifying things are out there in the wasteland?

Omega124 · Nov 18, 2015

4 seems most coridal so that

SouthernKing · Nov 18, 2015

Option 2

A Million Ways To Die In The Wasteland

..!

Back in the Saddle

Warlord

from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!

crickety cricket

Stay safe

Telvanni Master Wizard

An aberration of nature

Wandering the World

Back in the Saddle

Warlord

from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!

crickety cricket

..!

Wandering the World

Challenging Fate

Telvanni Master Wizard

from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!

Challenging Fate

crickety cricket

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