As an Evil Dictator, how would you execute the hero?

[amadeus]

Shooting them isn't any fun. You have to have fun to do it...

Take Mr. Bond (or whomever it may be), put them in to a pressure testing unit that they would use for astronauts, and slowly increase the speed until he...well, dies.

Have a octagon shaped room with eight doors. Out of each of the doors comes a ferocious (yes, ferocious!) tiger to come out and tear apart the enemy spy.

I love exotic ways of killing enemy spies

 

[Apollo]

Originally posted by rmsharpe
I love erotic ways of killing enemy spies

Wow Well, to each his own I guess.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Looks like he wrote 'exotic' rather than 'erotic', although the two can often intersect.
The tigers in the octagon can hardly be seen as exotic, however; it is so 16th century Istanbul (or Pasha Pook's lair in Calimport for that matter)
These days we use starving ferrets, and cunningly placed bait It is VERY effective and painful...

 

[CurtSibling]

Simon, you always were a softie!

In my regime, the Amazons are sent to the jungles to fish for a
lethal little pirana that has a barbed hook on it's nose.

We know this fish uses the barb to cling onto shaded rock
areas in a flowing river.

When we dump a prisoner into the tank filled with these little
buggers they automatically head for any orifice the can find!

Removing these fish from various...em, "parts" of the anatomy
causes death for the prisoner and fish!

No-one is safe in MY dictatorship!

The Amazons place bets on who will die first, fish or man!

Of course in my empire betting is illegal so I dump some amazons in the barb-fish tank too...

Just to be PURE EVIL...

 

[polymath]

Ooooh, wait. I just remembered a great one, my very own patented torture.

My Human Spaghetti Recipe.

Take one prisoner and remove clothes.
Wrap up tightly in chicken wire.
Force-feed for a several months.

Voila! Human spaghetti!

 

[Knight-Dragon]

Just pump the freak full of lead and watch (to make sure) he dies. No need for imaginative or creative ways to kill him. Simple, effective and efficient. The idea is to remove the hero as a threat to your own power, not to win the top prize in The Most Creative Way To Kill A Hero Annual Contest. :crazyeyes

 

[Sixchan]

(or Pasha Pook's lair in Calimport for that matter)

Didn't he die? You shouldn't take the methods of someone who lets his followers keep dimension doors into Tarterus, or ANY plane beyond the Prime, for that matter.

 

[polymath]

"Simple, effective and efficient" - Knight-Dragon
But that would make you a simple, effective and efficient Dictator, not an evil dictator. You have a point though. Simple, effective and efficient dictators probably live a lot longer.

 

[King of England]

I think I'll just shoot whomever stands in my way. Elaborate torture is too expensive and I don't like the dark.

But I'm supposed to be the hero.

Wait, that makes me the lazy dictator. But beware, my laziness is not a weakness, cuz if one tries to kill me I'll blow their heads off so fast and then I'd just return to providing quality TV programming for my people.

 

[Knight-Dragon]

Originally posted by polymath
"Simple, effective and efficient" - Knight-Dragon
But that would make you a simple, effective and efficient Dictator, not an evil dictator. You have a point though. Simple, effective and efficient dictators probably live a lot longer.

Not just longer. That's for novice evil overlord-cum-dictators. I, on the other hand, plan to live forever. Mwahahahaha!

 

[Blackadder]

Crucifixion, breaking of legs while in the process of the Chinese death of a thousand cuts, with bamboo shoots grow out of Hero's stomach (just give him them to eat and add a lot of water).

Attach two smelly socks to Hero's nose while laughing wickedly and playing the Hero's most hated music (it pays to do research)

Or if it costs too much, just give the Hero school dinners. To those without immunity to it, it is TORTURE! HA,HA,HA!

 

[bvd]

Interesting - albeit pretty tastless- quandry. Thus far, you've suggested:

ninja mercenaries,
"probing" (orifices?),
brainwashing,
recurring poking,
lasers,
the placebo effect,
sexual intrigue,
drenching in lard,
dueling banjos,
amputation,
mutilation with chicken-wire and, needless to say,
crucifixion.

Though I'd personally want this protagonist euthanized quickly, the most heinous way to die is to be cannibalized - alive. So, as "evil dictator", you can order your Chief of Security to have him flayed alive - while, of course, having his nonessential organs disembowled to be punctually fed to trained dogs.

That, too, would be pretty wicked, even for a ruler who shows no compunction.

As an alternative, you could use some sort of psychic probe to wrest any information out of the "hero" and afterwards sending him home to his parents (after a thorough lobotomy).

 

[chainsawkiller]

Strip him naked, tattoo "I Love KKK" on his chest and drop him in harlem.

 

[Apollo]

Originally posted by bvd
dueling banjos

I think the dueling banjos were mentioned not because they would be the form of death, but rather because the execution would be done with methods from the famous movie "Deliverence" that made the dueling banjos known. Of course this only makes sense if you've seen the movie, which I would not recommend for those faint of heart.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

I said DROWN them in lard, not just drench them

And Apollo, you are quite correct. There are, IMO, no more chilling sound in motion pictures, than the openinig strum of the banjo. It makes "Bring out the gimp" seem pedestrian in comparison.