Aussies Gonna Get Spanked

[Alexander's Horse]

The problem with English cricket as it has been explained to me is really at the County level. The County competition doesn't feed talent through to the English national team. Its not a good training ground for up and coming English players. Rather, there are so many foreign players that the competition is rather mercenary and its more like a cricket circus, in the Roman sense. Its no surprise that County cricket is alleged to have sowed the seeds of the bribery scandals that now wrack the game. Young players get inducted into a system which gives them a good living but doesn't necessarily prepare them for the highest level of the game. The strong cricket nations have strong and healthy competitions at the sub national level. In Australia, for example, the state competition is played in a test match format and the state players aspire to get into the national team. Its different in England I believe.

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Fear not, Horse is here
http://forums.delphi.com/prot1/start

[This message has been edited by Alexander's Horse (edited May 24, 2001).]

 

[Simon Darkshade]

A few points in my critique obviously require clarification, as raised by Mongol Horde.
1.) I wrote that Andy Caddick "could be a handfull" I did not say he was not world class, but IMO and that of other learned individuals, he is not on a par with Gough. Gough is the clear "star" bowler. He an Caddick have been among the best opening combinations around recently, but it remains to be seen what they can do to a quality line up.
2.) I do not dispute that Trescothick has got off to a good start, but we will see how he can cope with Australia. They are very good at mind games and breaking the confidence of a new chum (ie Hick 93). In addition, a good start does not always a great player make. Gooch got a pair on debut, Bradman got 18 and 1. He has played a Windies side with only two bowlers, Walsh and Ambrose, on their last legs. He did ok, fair enough. Pakistan are a team in a form slump, and are a very moody bunch. He survived, but didn't set the world on fire.
Sri Lanka - Did well in First test loss, and adequately afterwards. Ho Hum.
We'll see if he can play.

And he is a portly sausage eater.
3.) I never wrote or implied that Thorpe was not talented. He is a good player, but cannot be made to continually carry the side, or rescue it from a bad start. Think to 97, when he was always left not out by regular collapses. He is good, but not to the level of S.Waugh. Someone needs to bat with him. WHO?
4.)Atherton was almost finished by McGrath last series. He has his measure, and if Iron Mike survives him, there is Gillespie and Lee. Stewart has been down since the Windies seiries IMO. Has he got a fifty since then? I know not. Again, he has struggled to consistently play well against Australia. One good innings in a series is not enough to beat us. He will need to churn out around 400 or 500 runs for Mongol Hordes dream to come true.
5.) Hussain is injured currently. Before that, he was in a form slump almost as bad as Tubby Taylor's. Sure he got 100 in SL, but it remains to be seen if that is a real recovery, or an aberration. His injured finger will be tested at every opportunity by Steve's ruthless mob. I do not think he will make the distance.
6.) Yes, Craig White is an allrounder. It speaks volumes for the dearth of allrounders that he is among the worlds best. He is yet to bat and bowl well against quality in the same test. He will be undone by Australia, in both disciplines.
7.) Cork, unfortunately, has not put it together against the Aussies, and can get into a slump. I can't see him being allowed to dictate terms.
That is all for now.
"Five-Nil, Five-Nil, Five-Nil!!!!"

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Mongol Horde]

Yes Tresco is a salad dodger but that doesn't stop Shaney Boy does it? The world of cricket has been littered with great fat players.

The Aussies are coming over here with there heads stuck up their backsides as usual but things are gonna be a little different this year. Watch this space my little sheep shearing, cork hat wearing, fosters drinking, kangaroo shagging, shrimp barbecueing, crocodile wrestling little chums.

Get anymore stereotypes in a sentence if you can.

 

[DrAmazing]

What an insult! WE DO NOT WEAR CORK HATS!

(You've got us pegged on the rest of it though.)

On a serious note, I think the Aussie batting has been suspect recently. With the exceptions of Steve Waugh and Hayden they did not bat well in India, to the point where there are real question marks over Slater, Langer and even the usually brilliant Ponting.

I think it's the Aussies' bowling that will decide the series. McGrath is the best bowler in the world, Lee is the fastest and Gillespie does not suffer in comparison to either of them.

I acknowledge that England have taken some big strides forward under Hassein's leadership in the past year and this may be a more competitive series than in the past. If I know it, you can bet your life that Steve Waugh does too. (He consults me regularly.) I think any chance England had of finding complacency in the Australian side vanished with the series loss in India.

I predict a 3-1 series win to Australia.

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...not that I'm interesting in THAT sort of thing...

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Oh my golly my gosh!! Is that what you truly think of us!! I am going to go away and cry tears of sorrow into my warm beer...
That is VB drinking, sheep eating, roo shooting, Crocodile-wrestler belting to you, my learned friend. If you are going to say something, get it right. Most of the Aussies I have seen on this forum are Vics or in my case South Aussies, so idea that the weather is ever good enought for a shrimp barbie is outrageous...

DrAmazing, there is no cause for alarm over what happened in India. What with the bribes to us and them, the cheating umpires, and that chucking offspinner, it's a wonder we did so well..

Look at last time this happened though: Tubby made 334* next series, and Slats took 3 100s off the poms. Them Coat also got in rare touch, and Langer emerged. Thess Coat was always consistent.

Mongol Horder, that stuff in your bones?
It is your marrow, chilling at the very thought of facing the worlds best team!!!

As a note to everyone, I saw that one of Englands best one day batsmen, G.Hick, is not in the squad for the upcoming tri series!
Have the ECB lost it completely, and dropped their best number 3??

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[stormerne]

A note of correction here. Hick is not one of England's best one day batsmen. He is one of the <u>world's</u> best one day batsmen. Test cricket is, however, an entirely different game, and his Test credentials are not as good as many others. He is not "another Ian Botham" - good at many different sorts of game with both bat and ball. It is right that he step aside... for now.

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<IMG SRC="http://www.anglo-saxon.demon.co.uk/stormerne/stormerne.gif" border=0>

 

[andycapp]

I see that Mr Darkshade (5 nil to the Aussies) and DrAmazin (3-1 to the Aussies) have been brave enough to forecast the Test Series result, so I will also make a prediction - 2-1 result to Australia. I think the English are a much improved side and on their own dunghill will push the Aussies, which should make for a good contest.

Time for our English friends to make their predictions - I'm especially interested in Mr Horde's and perhaps we can think of a modest wager on the outcome.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

I propose that the loser has to leave Test cricket.

On an individual basis, perhaps a change of signature to one glorifying the winning nation, as well as the offering of many symbolic

.
A thread acknowledging the winner as right and all powerful is in order.
Or just enforce the tradtional gentlemans penalty for losing a bet, and make em run around a table with their pants down in front of a derisive and drunken audience (UN Security Council, or equivalent..)

BTW, its DR Darkshade!!!!
"I did not spend five fricken years at Evil Medical School to be called 'Mr' Darkshade!!"

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[andycapp]

Simon, my use of "Mr" was merely acknowledging that you are a 'Specialist' - in the dark arts.

I like your ideas for the wager, except ( being technologically illiterate) I don't know how to make a signature. Anyway plenty of time and incentive to learn - I'm envisaging one with a Brit lion poking his head out of a load of Kangaroo poo saying "Hmmm, smells the same! Tastes the same! Yep! Crapped on again!"

And still not a word from our English friends - perhaps the idea of a wager is not to their liking - maybe we just all agree that an Aussie win is inevitable and we try to pick the winning margin!

Btw, I don't suppose you evil medical types have come up with a cure for the common cold? I'm feeling like a misery guts.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Signatures as far as I mean is like my Khrushchev quote; just some happy words.
As for a cure for the cold, I consulted my olde booke of Medieval Medicine, and came up with three possible remidies:
1.)Herbs
2.) Leeches
3.) Saw it off.

Some combination or permuatation of the above should serve quite nicely. Here are some sample cures:
Appendicitis: Leeches applied to flesh over the affected part and allowed to gorge themselves until the appendix is exposed. This is then sawn off.

Toothache: Leach applied to scrotum to take patient's mind off pain in jaw.

and
Syphilis: Apply leeches indiscriminately.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Mongol Horde]

God knows how we will get three tests off you but I will stick to my guns and say 3-2 England. Here is my signature.

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<IMG SRC="http://www.mongols.com/mongol-yurt/images/unknown1_small.jpg" border=0>

The Mongols are coming.........

 

[andycapp]

Very brave of you Mongol Horde! Lets make the wager simple and in the spirit of Cricket - first off who knows an Indian bookmaker? <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/lol.gif" border=0> Just joking! How about Simon's idea - if the Aussies win, Mongol and other Brits party to this wager, have to run a signature for two weeks acknowledging the Australian victory and the final score line. And if the English win we'll do the same - do we have a deal? <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/goodwork.gif" border=0>

Btw 'Dr' Darkshade thanks for the suggestions for curing the Common Cold but I had something less medieval in mind - I'll just go for the Sudafeds!

[This message has been edited by andycapp (edited May 29, 2001).]

 

[Mongol Horde]

And in the occurrence of a draw?

 

[andycapp]

I suppose all five tests could be washed out. In the event of a drawn series we retire to our favorite Pubs and reflect on how 'we was wobbed'! So Mongol, now that the legalities are sorted, do we have a deal?

 

[DrAmazing]

I still think there should be nudity and humiliation involved--two things the poms truly understand.

(With photographic evidence of said things.)

How's the cold andycapp? Plenty of fluids and plenty of rest and much playing of the sick role. Men are especially good at this.

"Honey, I know I'm getting better, but I still feel weak. Could you put the remote control here by my hand? That's a dear."



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...not that I'm interesting in THAT sort of thing...

 

[Mongol Horde]

Its a deal. The losers signature will read like this:

I <name here> concede that Australia/England are the best cricket team in the world and Australia/England are a pile of pants that are a disgrace to the Ashes.

You boys are gonna be so humiliated when this comes around.

 

[andycapp]

Mongol I notice that the English tabloids (the war has started

)have portrayed some of the Aussies as prawns to throw on the barbcue (a bit of humor I'm sure) but as Steve Waugh said they're obviously not Aussie prawns - they're not big enough.

Btw I notice that the tour opener is against Worchestershire, are you going to have a look?

And DrAmazin I am feeling much better, thankyou. I did have lots of fluids - but they were not the sort I usually like to drink - amber colour with a good head.

 

[Mongol Horde]

Originally posted by andycapp:

Btw I notice that the tour opener is against Worchestershire, are you going to have a look?

Any idea what date, I would love to go but New Street is a tiny ground and hard to get tickets for. I wanted to go and see the Windies when they went there but couldn't get a ticket. I used to live about a quarter of a mile away from the ground but I have moved house now.

 

[andycapp]

Just checked Cricketinfo site and I think it starts tomorrow Friday 1 June.

 

[andycapp]

Arrhhh! First blood to the Aussies - in what was a very close match. If this match is any indication of what is to come, we should see a very close and entertaining series. But for now I dips me cap to Ricky and the boys.