Behold! Lame Super Powers

[Chazumi]

So we all know about "Super Powers", flying, X-Ray vision, Super strength, super speed etc.,

But what about lame super powers? If you could have one, what would it be? I won't set up a definition of what "lame" is, but obviously real super powers shouldn't be listed here.

I think if I could have a lame super power it would be that I could change whatever is on TV to whatever I wanted to watch with my mind. Like 3am on a Tuesday:

"Awww...infomercials.... although.. .. *POOF!*. That's better!" (Seinfeld music starts playing).

Whats yours? Pencils that never break? Ability to have constant access to the internet in your mind? Ability to talk to ants?

Discuss!

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Heart.

/thread

 

[Arwon]

Anthrokinesis.

 

[scherbchen]

I'd have half-way x-ray vision. I could see through clothes, envelopes, walls, lead, you name it... but... only half the way.

 

[Chazumi]

I'd have half-way x-ray vision. I could see through clothes, envelopes, walls, lead, you name it... but... only half the way.

Wait so like, you could see the back side of the OTHER walls sheet rock half way?

 

[GoodSarmatian]

I'd be a supervillian who can turn one enantiomer into the other through sheer willpower.
"One step closer and your chewing gum will taste like caraway."

 

[Catharsis]

I can turn into any animal, but I can't turn back, so I have to sit on a nuclear reactor and wait for chance genetic mutations to return me to a roughly-human shape.

 

[warpus]

Back in highschool I started a lesbian religion. There was a bible, prophets, and even an afterlife.

We ended up having 4 prophets.. One of them was moses (the first ever lesbian), me, my friend ned.. and somebody else.

Each one of us had a special power.

The power assigned to Ned was "He could wear sweaters". I don't think that superpower can be beaten for its lameness.

 

[scherbchen]

Wait so like, you could see the back side of the OTHER walls sheet rock half way?

precisely!

 

[nonconformist]

Behold it is I, doobie grinding man!

 

[Veritass]

After being bitten by a radioactive bear cub, I, HibernoMan, have developed the ability to quiesce my bodily functions and sleep for nearly three months straight.

 

[Perfection]

NO NEED TO FEAR:
CAPTAIN POSTCOUNT IS HERE!
THE THREAD IS NOW SAFE!​

 

[philippe]

I have the power to make penises 1 cm shorter. Out of fear, the Chinese, Korean and Japanese secret services have combined forces and are chasing me.

 

[gangleri2001]

NO NEED TO FEAR:
CAPTAIN POSTCOUNT IS HERE!
THE THREAD IS NOW SAFE!​

Captain Troll is here to help Captain Postcount!!

 

[Brighteye]

Causing an instinctive reaction of dislike with a mere glance.

Oh wait. That's a real power.

 

[Rambuchan]

I have the power to sense when someone in the room has a hole in their sock. But only if it's the sock on their left foot.

 

[holy king]

i can make football teams score goals by going to the toilet.

 

[Bartleby]

I have the power to become invisible when standing at a bar.

 

[Perfection]

Captain Troll is here to help Captain Postcount!!

You're Stratego?!

 

[Aemilius]

I can sense pugs from a range of a 100 meters. Sometimes. If it's not a bad day.