Biggest FAIL ever

[bestbrian]

Why are you bumping this thread if you have nothing to add?

Not to mention that the last post is less than a week old. I guess that's The Biggest Fail.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Not to mention that the last post is less than a week old. I guess that's The Biggest Fail.

And I added something, so I avoid my usual fail of contributing nothing intelligent to a thread.

 

[bestbrian]

And I added something, so I avoid my usual fail of contributing nothing intelligent to a thread.

As the BAT Lady that also has an entire thread dedicated just to her avatars, I'd say that you contribute quite a bit.

 

[TheMulattoMaker]

And I added something, so I avoid my usual fail of contributing nothing intelligent to a thread.

So you just failed at failing?

 

[unscratchedfoot]

I tried playing a Civ4 scenario about the napoleonic era and I was eagerly anticipating wonderful, smokey musketry fights. Instead, the AI pumped out nothing but grenadiers and not a single soldier with a musket because the attack stat was higher on them and the AI never builds variety. It was then that I confirmed that people lose up to a million braincells per session of playing Civ4.

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[nfw]

If we were to judge by the unit graphics, rifleman would be the Napoleonic musket infantry.

 

[Ataxerxes]

I had an epic fail in a game I played OCC. It wasn't my fail, but Boudica's.

She was in the lead on a Standard map with 2 vassals. Pretty dominant. AP vote came up for defensive pact with all members (there was only one Civ without the AP religion) and Boudica votes for it. 2 turns later she declares war on another member and all the horns go off. She wound up being vassalized to Sitting Bull. Biggest facedown I've ever seen where I wasn't involved. (I've learned not to send my army outside my borders in an OCC).

 

[nfw]

Not a super fail, but I didn't realize in LoR, scouts can attack. So while fighting with Ragnar, I sent my settler (unescorted of course, because that's just how I roll) off to backfill some land, totally oblivious of Ragnar's scout in wondering around. 100 hammer well spent

 

[thecaesar]

I just recently played as greece in RFC. I survived until the late medeival period, but I was way past everyone else tech wise. Unfortunately, I had civil war. Fortunately, Saladin gave me my old city in turkey (long story short, I settled there, Ottomans stole it from me when they appearred, Saladin decided he wanted to KEEP his city, to heck with the ottomans, and wiped them off the face of the planet.) on the same turn, so I had 2 cities, then I took back my city on Cyprus. Umfortunatley again, Germany took all my northern cities. So then Germany asks for a defensive pact (They were the only people as advanced as me), and I was suspicious (he was at -8 because "our close borders spark tensions") but, as my glorious civilization was nearly ruined by civil war, I accepted. Sure enough, here come the russians, and Me, Germany, Ragnar, Portugal and spain all get declared war on. Germany and portugal then, after russia took all the cities north of me with massive cuirassier spamming, make peace with russia. Russia hates my guts because I made a defensive pact with their worst enemy, and I have approximately one rifleman per city. CRAP!!!

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I had an epic fail in a game I played OCC. It wasn't my fail, but Boudica's.

She was in the lead on a Standard map with 2 vassals. Pretty dominant. AP vote came up for defensive pact with all members (there was only one Civ without the AP religion) and Boudica votes for it. 2 turns later she declares war on another member and all the horns go off. She wound up being vassalized to Sitting Bull. Biggest facedown I've ever seen where I wasn't involved. (I've learned not to send my army outside my borders in an OCC).

That story is pretty neat. So, was your Civ the one Civ without the AP Religion or did you end up being forced into a war against Boudica based on her own actions?

 

[Turquoiside]

I was Catherine and had a start that begged for a Conquest or Domination victory; Julius, one of the Germans, and Boudica all ten tiles south, west, and east from me. This was on Prince so I Warrior Rush Julius, and use axes+swords to take down the other two. The Aztecs are even easier, and Russia is now 30% of the world's population and land area.
The next order of business is the Inca- they should be easy seeing as they have only 5 mainland cities and only 4 islands ones. Meanwhile, Mansa Musa has vassalized himself to Persia leaving only four independent nations, the other being China. Here I make my first mistake and instead of letting Inca surrender to me, which he was willing to do after I took a single city. Then I see if China, who is on the other side of my frontier is willing to sell me some techs and amazingly, I instead find that they are willing to declare war on Persia! This means they won't help their Incan friends and can wear down Persia until I can finish off the Inca and start attacking them both. Yet......I for some reason decided to wait to bribe him - the next turn he's afraid to declare war on Persia! 5 turns later he's bribed to declare war on me. This stops me from finishing off the Incan colonies and in general evolves into a large waste of time. I can't manage to finish off China before Persia launches its spaceship and then DOWs me for the lulz. This is what happens whenever I try to win a Domination Victory.

 

[cain3456]

I know Montezuma is supposed to be a loony psycho, but this is stupid even for him.

He launches an invasion over the ocean to attack Alex. Alex is my peace vassal (I'm playing Sillyman). Cathy is another vassal. I also have MPPs with Mansa Musa on the continent, and Darius on another continent. Mansa Musa has Surya for a vassal.

I saw him with his frigates and galleons heading toward Alex, thinking "Naaaah, he can't be that stupid, can he"?

 

[MCan]

On my very first game-

Send 30 machine guns to attack Isabella's capital which was defended by 9 marines.

FACEPALM

Felt like a champion didnt you?

Reminds me of my machine gun fail. Figured what unit is better served having CG? Wait, they cant get it. I know. I'll just upgrade ALL my CG xbows to machine guns, and have the best defense EV ER. Man my land got pillaged so fast...And me with me best D just watching.

I had read that a defensive war uses offensive units. Now I know its true.

 

[ywhtptgtfo]

Felt like a champion didnt you?

Reminds me of my machine gun fail. Figured what unit is better served having CG? Wait, they cant get it. I know. I'll just upgrade ALL my CG xbows to machine guns, and have the best defense EV ER. Man my land got pillaged so fast...And me with me best D just watching.

I had read that a defensive war uses offensive units. Now I know its true.

Against the A.I., machine guns can be useful, especially when you want to wipe out a SoD. I once had Isabella (the leader in army) DoW on me. She sent a HUGE stack of rifles, knights, and catapults to my capital. I was spammed machine guns and lured her SoD to a forested hill with 10 machine guns stacked. Next turn - she suicided her entire SoD on my forested hill fortified machine guns. This trick will not work against human players.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I had read that a defensive war uses offensive units. Now I know its true.

Ironically, I find that in an offensive war (i.e. when your units are in enemy territory), defensive units like the Machine Gun are quite useful. In that situation, you've got potentially vulnerable siege and City Raider units and you can EXPECT your stack to be under pressure of a potential counter-attack from your enemy.

So, yes, the Machine Gun is a great OFFENSIVE unit, at least in support of other attacking units (but not all by its lonesome ).

 

[jaxy15]

I once loaded several machine guns on a transport so I can attack.
Then I realized they were defensive units and can't attack offensively.

 

[Ataxerxes]

That story is pretty neat. So, was your Civ the one Civ without the AP Religion or did you end up being forced into a war against Boudica based on her own actions?

No, I had the AP religion and ran it as my state religion. If I had been the heathen I would have been dead before that. I was forced into war but it was mostly a phony war. I saw a few of Boudica's troops in my land which I destroyed, but she had other concerns. I've learned not to go outside my land looking for GG points in an OCC because I have limited troops and can be backstabbed and killed. I've gotten to the point where I won't even go over the border if I'm at war with a neighbor for fear of being outflanked.

I actually find more odd situations in an OCC because I'm not the prime mover.

@cain3456. I've seen Monty do worse. I was getting circumnavation so my Caravel met him. He was backward, of course, and my power was roughly 3x his. He declared war on me despite the fact he couldn't reach me and I could destroy him.

 

[theskibum]

Since we have fed this thread some brains, I will post my most epic fail.

I was playing as Catherine once on a large pangaea, monarch, epic speed. I was DoW'd by Shaka (my neighbor) and was able to beat him back and capitulate him. I didn't have the troops to really trounce him, so as soon as he was willing to capitulate, I accepted so I wouldn't have to fight him again. I left him 5 decent cities, and Shaka, being Shaka kept his army up and kept up fairly well in tech despite my neglected relations with him for most of the game.

Later I go to war against the powerhouse Genghis with Sury, Toku and Willem as vassals. Shaka is a great help, attacking where I tell him. He took 6 cities in the space I took 2. I had directed him to attack our flank (Sury) while I was busy with Genghis who had 1.3x my power. Guess what...Shaka broke away from me and declared on me.

I was able to quickly get peace with Genghis, but unfortunately I wasn't ready for Shaka's hordes to my east and he quickly took 4 cities from me. I rerouted my SoD from Genghis's territory to go after Shaka as he headed toward my capital. My units were quite wounded and I didn't have enough seige to beat his 50 unit strong SoD. He annihilated my force in the field. Took my capital and then took the remainder of my cities. I tried repeatedly to sue for peace, but he wouldn't take the deal....apparently my vassalizing him pissed him off.

 

[uat2d]

That's why you always have to finish them off.

 

[theskibum]

That's why you always have to finish them off.

Yes, lessons learned and all that....thats why this is a fail thread