President Langdonstill landed at Anchorage early this morning to deliver a speech and head up a rescue and decontamination effort.
Citizens of Alaska and America, I come to you today with regret and anger in my heart, regret that we couldn't do anything about the weapons, and anger becuase the Russian government did not properly deactivate them and take them out of our lands. I am currently talking with the Russian president and see what they plan to do about this, I dont know if they have more weapons hidden around here or not, but I plan to find out and save as many people as we can. I ask that Americans and Alaskans support each other in our darkest hour, much like what happened in history, 1941 Pearl Harbor, 1995 Oklahoma City, 2001 New York City, and 2006 Virgiana Tech, America has always been mercilessly attacked and prevailed every time. So I again ask you to do the same. I will be working side by side with you in rescue and decontamination efforts, I will be expecting more news from Russia soon concerning the placements of other weapons in our lands.
President Langdonstill stepped off and waved to the crowd as they cheered. President Langdonstill looked towards his aide, "Any calls from Russia yet?"
The aide shook his head, "Yes, sir. They said that they all detonated, sir." President Langdonstill sighed, "I hope so, becuase if more detonate and they never told us where they were I will have no choice but to declare war." He slowly walked off and got in his limo where he sat in deep thought.