Chaos SG

Hey hey!

Since this is a holiday weekend for a lot of people, I'm going to take my time with my turns. I didn't get in until late last night and I've got another obligation that came up for tonight. I'll have time to play the turns and post a regular update by the end of the weekend though.

Or, if people prefer, I can quickly play the turns and post a brief synopsis late tonight.

 

I prefer one of your usual big enthusiastic reports, and I guess they can't be done in a hurry

 

Gads... It seems that I'm developing a personal life.

Anyway, two things:

1) I'll have the turns posted today; and
2) I will NOT be patching to 1.61 just yet.

Sure, it'd be chaos to patch to 1.61 all spur-of-the-moment like, but I don't really want to break the game for anyone. But I'm all for patching as soon as everyone is ready.

 

Hey guys, sorry for my lo(ooo)ng absence, but my computer broke down and so I've been completely cut off for the past 2 weeks. I see I'm still in the game (as the micromanager, I assume that's some sort of 'chaotic' swap, will have to take a look at the last few pages).
Anyway, my computer is fixed, so I can play again now

 

we'll figure out what to do with the patch MinionJoe,

Nice to have you back Strauss.

 

Cap'n Bloody Joe the Thirsty sailed into Adamame early one morning. By afternoon, half the city was in flames and not a single gold filling remained in the mouths of the town citizens.

By the end of the week, Bloody Joe had pillaged every city in Chaos and constructed himself a throne of golden fillings.

"Yar! This here country be mine by right. Follow me orders an' no one gits hurt. Unless I feels like it. Like right now..."

1690AD (Turn 0): Sure enough, culture, culture everywhere. How repulsive. Production reassigned:

Butterfly -> National Epic (7 turns) WHIPPED FOR 5 POP!
Theory -> Capapult (1 turn) WHIPPED FOR SPITE (& 1 POP)!
Chaos -> Aqueduct (13 turns) WILL BE WHIPPED JUST YOU WATCH ME!
English Setter -> Horse Archer (? turns) WHIPPED LIKE...HORSES!
Adamame -> Catapult (2 turns) WHIP-PED! AND WHIP-PED GOOD! (1 POP)
Straussburg -> Harbor (7 turns) THEM FOLKS IS TREMBLIN' IN FEAR O' THE WHIP!
Hangzhou -> Pikeman (6 turns) ONE POP WHIPPED FOR SLACKIN'!
Yangzhou -> Walls (5 turns) ONE POP WHIPPED AND FORCED INTO BRICK-LIKE SHAPES!

At the same time, all them auto-governer things were turned off and workers where put wherever I felt they should be. In other words, whatever gave me the most GOLD! That meant no town went unworked. No luxury went unharvested. And merchants were hired all around. Yarr!!!

Iron ain't hooked up no more, but workers are on the way.

We's at war with Cathy, but there ain't nothin' threatenin' us just yet. We goes askin' for a cease fire, but she wants Straussburg to do it. HAR HAR HAR! What a wench.

We gots LOTS of catapults.

IBT: A pikeman defends Hangzhou against Cathy's knight.

1695AD (Turn 1): National Epic done in Butterfly, spearman next (2 turns). Catapult done in Theory, spearman next (1 turn). Horse archer done in English Setter, spearman next (3 turns). Catapult in Adamame, spearman next (2 turns). Pikeman done in Hangzhou, barracks next (10 turns). Walls done in Yangzhou, barracks next (4 turns).

Formed up a small army of one samurai, one pikeman, and two catapults.

We try getting Qin to stop "trading" with Cathy so she can't sent forces down to Hangzhou. No luck. Oh, and he has Gunpowder.

... By Davey Jones. We DO have a spy! I gets a cunning plan. We're going to take out Cathy's iron.



IBT: Copernicus born in Butterfly... He can "help" us with Education, or become a Great Scientist. We does neither and throws the egghead in the brig (in Butterfly). YAR!

1700AD (Turn 2): Spearman in Theory, another next (12 turns).

Horse archer pillages Cathy's iron! Our spy wants 200 gold to do the same down south. Our treasure sits at 177 pieces of eight with 4 comin' in per turn. We dump research to 20% so we gets 39 per turn. YAR!



An army (3 samurai, 3 catapults) forms up in Chaos and is sent Cathy's way.

IBT: Knights cross into our territory. Gibbon says we're #5 in the world's largest civilizations. We vow to keel haul the scurvy rat. Oh, and Mao declares war on Victoria.



1705AD (Turn 3): Spearman done in Butterfly, horse archer next (3 turns). Spearman in Adamame, horse archer next (4 turns).

NOW we can pays our lurvly spy to burn Cathy's last iron.



IBT: Musket men kill our horse archer in Cathy's vinyard and her invading knight destroys a hamlet.



1710AD (Turn 4): Our second horse archer is sent in for revenge and are gunned down like dogs.



Our army from Theory lays to on Cathy's knight. Our catapults do very little (we lose two and two retreat after causing damage). Our spearman finishes them off.

Our army near Straussburg lays seige to Novosibirsk.



Iron gets hooked back up. YARRR!!!

IBT: Liz comes by asking us to cancel our deals with them "vile Mongolians". We're good friends, so... OK. we stop sending Pigs to Genghis. Harrapan was captured and razed by the Russians. Bi Sheng born in Chengdu. And Dublai declares war on Vicky.



1715 (Turn 5): Barracks in Yangzhou, theatre next (17 turns). Novosibirsk gets a taste of our catapults! Down to 12% defense. But what's this? TWO GRENADIERS? GAR!



Cathy still wants Straussburg for peace.

IBT: These hammer hammer (worker) ambushed one of Cathy's knights.

1720AD (Turn 6): Banking comes in. YAR! MORE GOLD! We wants that gunpowder next (35 turns at 20% science). We goes ahead and switches to Merchantilism.

Catapults (5 now) give Novosibirsk another broadside and reduce its defences to naught. Our bloodthirst must be quenched! CHARGE!

Catapults first. Then samurai.

Lost: 1 catapult, 2 samurai
Destroyed: 2 grenadiers, fortified in a city, on a hill.



YAR! We pillage 102 GOLD from Novosibirsk!!! And we burn it TO THE GROUND!



IBT: These Sandles (worker) ambused by a knight near Hangzhou. In Hangzhou, Ugg (longbowman) destroyed by an attacking musketman. Our army from Theory is attacked and we lose a samurai, a pikeman, and a catapult to two Russian grenadiers and a longbowman.

Genghis makes peace with Vicky.

1725AD (Turn 7): The last catapult in the Theory army smashes itself into Cathy's attackers and is destroyed. The other armies, having destroyed Novo, consolidate on the hill.



And having pillage hundreds of dubloons, BloodyJoe the Thirsty sails into the sunset.

 

Ahoy! Here be the accursed file of the saved!

 

That was me. The computer recommended them for every city during my turns and I, the automaton, accepted.

 

beautiful!

SG Breaker (munterpipe) played
Tyrant (Minion joe)
Pushover (ruff_hi) UP!
Cleaner (chriseay) on deck
MicroManager (Strauss)
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) skipped until after easter
Automaton (jeejeep alternating for Sharog)
Warmonger (chrth)

Poor pushover.
For him to open that save will be like a kitten walking into a dog pen.
A thousand dead bodies lie in the wake of Cap'n Bloody Joe the Thirsty, for Ruff Hi to deal with.

 

Got it - and will play when instructed.

PS - are we running under v1.52 or v1.61?

 

It's 1.52 at the moment.
You just do as you're told. Patch the game, play your turns, and put the save back in 1.61!
Understood!!?
Get to it!

 

And so, not-so-ruff the 2nd comes to the throne. I wonder if the state of the world is any better than it was yesterday.

We are at war - oh dear - someone hates us - and it is the lovely Kathy ... however, she does seem to have something wrong with one of her hands. I talk to my Doctors and ask them to send her a powder for that.



That is a relief - we are now at peace with the world. The other good news is that we don't have to manage that Straussberg town either - they were always complaining about whippings or some such rot. It seems that all of our towns (they call themselves cities but they are actually quaint little hamlets or towns) are not too happy after the whip-fest (their word, not mine) that they recently lived through. I have a stack of complaint letters that I give to my scribe to deal with.

This has been a rough day - we retire to the pool for a soak and a light snack.

... time passes ...

The royal butler wakes me by throwing back the curtains. I get ready my ... oops ... (always forget this royal we stuff) ... We get ready our royal bark to issues orders (ie more sleep) but he has already laid out our clothes (such a pretty green, and soft too) that I ... WE decide to get up, have our bath and get dressed.

It seems that the issue of the day is our civics ... slavery (that will not do). Hmmn - I have been ... We have been hoodwinked by the previous tyrant (you wont tell him I ... we said that will you? - pls) and we cannot change civics for 4 years.

Also, we are studying on how to hurt people (gunpowder). That will not do. We switch to printing press so that we can send our nice embossed invitations to balls and the like.



... time passes ...

Sire - what are your orders?
Um - what do you think we should do?
Sire?
What do you think we should do?
I really don't know, Sire - you are the King, you can do what ever you like.
Arrr - what do the opinion polls recommend?
Opinion polls Sire?
Never mind - which city is the most cultured?
Sire - that would be London!
Ok, please send our representative to them to study their ways.
Yes Sire.
In the mean time, please instruct the building of Theatres, Libraries, Colosseums, Temples. We need places where we can be quiet, sing, study and pray. Hopefully, the public will stop bothering me. Ohh - you didn't hear me ... US say that.



Lizzie comes calling and asks us to declare war on the Chinese. She is friendly and they hate us. Ohh, we hate these sorts of decisions. What to do? Finally, I decide ... WE decide that saying NO is the right choice as there are 2 Chinese and only 1 lizzie. We are relieved to say that this was exactly the right option ... as you can see from Lizzie's reply ...



... time passes ...

We finally get our report back about the great London. I'll skip the ... We'll skip the boring paper work and just show you the slides. Quite a nice river, they call it the Themes (what a silly name) and it does have some nice Chapels and stuff. I ... We particularly like the royal retreat in the foreground - we order one build for us!



... time passes ...

Genghis Khan (what another silly name) comes asking for our assistance. We are flattered by this request and decide to help him out with Banking. Hopefully, this will be a start of a great friendship.

We have finally managed to change our civics to those more in keeping with our enlighten leader (that would be me ... US). Also, the mention of bacon has reminded me that ... reminded us that we need to issue orders to repair our farms and what not. We look forward to the bacon for breakfast.



... time passes ...

Both Kathy and Vicky come asking for our mighty assistance in their petty wars. No to both. I'm sure ... We are sure that Lizzie would hear if we said YES to either of these girls.

Sire - I hear reports that both Kathy, Vicky and Lizzie are not best pleases with our refusal to help them
It is times like these that I wish I had ... WE wished that WE had listened to what OUR mother use to say.
Sire - why, what did she say?
We don't know, we didn't listen.

...

And here is the save - played under v1.61. It seems that they have fixed the screen shot from diplo issue.

 

You didn't

This is getting real beautiful.
SG Breaker (munterpipe)
Tyrant (Minion joe)
Pushover (ruff_hi)Played, and did a very nice job of ****ing everything up for us.
But it was with style and according to role so
Cleaner (chriseay) Up!
MicroManager (Strauss) on deck
Religious Fanatic (Zalson) not skiped anymore
Automaton (jeejeep alternating for Sharog)
Warmonger (chrth)

Chriseay, it's your responsibility to get us back on track again. Clean up this mess, will you?

 

Lurker's comments:
I dare say Chris has some work ahead of him O_o

Kinda funny how this roll call works... Chris and Strauss clean things up (I consider the Micromanager to be a positive player...), Cardinal Zalson spices things up a bit, Unit Jeejeep builds nonsensical things, then it's OFF TO WAR with those nonsensical units under the command of General Chrth, with OmgwtfSGN00b!!Munterpipe muddying things up halfway-through, Dictator Minion Joe the Great then proceeds to kill off half the world's population, then Ruff_hi the Pitiful tries to make everyone be friends again, never mind that we (you) attacked first...

...with this much schizophrenia among the ruling body, it's no wonder poor Gibbon's messenger was impaled on a whip (a challenging and difficult, but satisfying way to impale someone... I think) for daring say the truth...

 

Put me back in the line up

 

Oh, very sorry if I did the wrong thing with this game. I did look for written instructions from the prior player and all I could see were the whip marks.

 

Well, I would think PushOver should be pushable not only by AI, but by fellow players. One would think the Tyran will live detail instructions for Push over to follow.

Actially I am surprised you did not loose yet. Current joker probably keep you alive with free gifts. He should not really.

 

Okie dokie, I see the game and I don't think ten turns will be enough to get it cleaned up, but I'll give it a shot. It will probably be tomorrow before I play.

 

The save that I posted was a Civ 3 save that I found laying around. I sincerely hope that it did not cause too much difficulty. Well, maybe not sincerely ...

Only 1 free gift ... I gave them a single Spy to play with. They used it to disconnect Cathy's iron only after she had access to Grenadiers. In other words, she did not really need the iron. The irony, though, is that so far everyone has assumed that Team Chaos is the only one to have gotten a spy ...

I gave a lot of troops to a barb city south of your empire (just under the fog). Unfortunately, I noticed in Munterpipe's turnlog a message where the city was captured by one of the AI anyway. Oh, well.

 

Some of us can overcome any odds

The reason we haven't lost yet is because the AI hasn't decided to put us out of our misery. If they gang up, we're toast, but enough of them seem to hate each other to help survive.

...although it hurts when you're giving up cities for peace.