www.4q.cc/chuck
WARNING: This site contains material some perusers may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised.
WARNING: This site contains material some perusers may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised.
Chuck Norris Random Facts
- Thread starter Azash
- Start date
Wolfe Tone
Which Way Did He Go?
Yeah, I've been there before. It's hillarious, he's a true legend.
His entry Uncyclopedia is also pretty funny
His entry Uncyclopedia is also pretty funny
Swiss Bezerker
Emperor
Chuck noris lost his virginity bfore his dad did
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
edit: this one is apropriate for CFC
Alexander the Great conquered Europe, the Mediterranean, North Africa, and most of Asia, the largest empire man had ever known, by the age of 18. Unfortunately, he met a 17-year-old Chuck Norris in India who roundhouse kicked him, his army, and his empire and turned the remaining juice into wine. Then he had sex with Cleopatra, sipping the wine.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
edit: this one is apropriate for CFC
Alexander the Great conquered Europe, the Mediterranean, North Africa, and most of Asia, the largest empire man had ever known, by the age of 18. Unfortunately, he met a 17-year-old Chuck Norris in India who roundhouse kicked him, his army, and his empire and turned the remaining juice into wine. Then he had sex with Cleopatra, sipping the wine.
Abaddon
Deity
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
HAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHA!
Chris85
Emperor
I actually just found this list on another site and was going to post it here, but now I guess I don't have too. I laughed my ass off when I read that list.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Anyone can [pee] on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can [poop] on the ceiling.
Chuck Norris cried wolf, only to beat up the villagers who showed up.
Chuck Norris doesn't get crabs, he gets lobsters.
Chuck Norris once played Jenga. The result was the Empire State Building.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going to die.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris does indeed own a house which is round.
Chuck Norris cried wolf, only to beat up the villagers who showed up.
Chuck Norris doesn't get crabs, he gets lobsters.
Chuck Norris once played Jenga. The result was the Empire State Building.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going to die.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris does indeed own a house which is round.
Dr. Yoshi
Emperor of the Universe
Jimmy Hoffa once referred to Chuck Norris as "Charlie Norris." Jimmy Hoffa's whereabouts are still unknown.
Chuck Norris once consumed an entire East-Russian villiage in a fit of collosal hunger which may never be equalled...
Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a blow torch. He fuels the torch with his own breath.
Chuck Norris has never found Waldo, but vows to kick his ass when he does.
Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.
Chuck Norris only drinks the blood of his enemies, but cleverly disguises it as water and other beverages.
The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
Chuck Norris once consumed an entire East-Russian villiage in a fit of collosal hunger which may never be equalled...
Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a blow torch. He fuels the torch with his own breath.
Chuck Norris has never found Waldo, but vows to kick his ass when he does.
Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.
Chuck Norris only drinks the blood of his enemies, but cleverly disguises it as water and other beverages.
The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
Pentium
Digital Matter
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
The Black Plague once tried to afflict Chuck Norris. It has not been seen since.
The Black Plague once tried to afflict Chuck Norris. It has not been seen since.
greekguy
Missed the Boat
i literally fell on the floor laughing after reading the Chuck Norris facts in Post 3.
*still laughing*
brandonbowler
What the Deuce?
theres a mr. t version of all of these and vin diesel theyre so funnyMr. T
Vin Diesel
btw they may not work because the site was down when i put the links on, so i dont know.
CoolioVonHoolio
Quit WoW, back to Civ.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves
these are so great
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves
these are so great
Conqueror '91
Crimethinker
YES! This is the greatest site ever!!!
Jimi Hendrix once challenged Chuck Norris to a guitar playing contest. When Chuck lost, he round house kicked Hendrix so hard that he died of a drug overdose.
Chuck Norris said hello to Tony Montana's little friend.
Sheer brilliance.
Jimi Hendrix once challenged Chuck Norris to a guitar playing contest. When Chuck lost, he round house kicked Hendrix so hard that he died of a drug overdose.
Chuck Norris said hello to Tony Montana's little friend.
Sheer brilliance.
Dabomb18359
Link Has Become A Jedi
Chuck Norris can slam a revloving door!!
DragonRunner
Certified Band Geek
There are no nuclear weapons- Chuck Norris merely stores his roundhouse kicks in metal containers.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Totibbs
Warlord
For the "24" fans:
Search: Chuck Norris
Replace by: Jack Bauer
Search: Chuck Norris
Replace by: Jack Bauer
Similar threads
