Civ 5... After Dark

[CaptainJewbeard]

Let's write Civ 5 stories of a (parodically) "mature" nature!

Only groundrules:
1) They should be funny
2) They should have some geopolitical/historical element (or basically, anything that will appeal to the nerds who love Civ)
3) They should not contain anything to get you banned.
4) They don't have to be full stories. They can be, as below, very short.

Here's my first entry:
"Oooh, Herr Bismarck, I never knew your moustache was so powerful... and... efficient!" gasped Catherine the Great, her mighty bosoms heaving like the White Sea at Arkhangelsk during a late-autumn gale.

 

[stormerne]

"Now I know why you're called horsemen," said Wu, as she succumbed to the assault of three of them and became their puppet.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

"Hey Togauacha", (or something like that) Washington said. "What do you want with me!!!," the angrey Jappaneise leader said. "You just got NUKED!!!!!!!!" (laughter in the background).

 

[Centurio]

Augustus says, "I would erect MY triumphal column in HER forum. hehehehe."

 

[Terrance888]

1) They should be funny
2) They should have some geopolitical/historical element (or basically, anything that will appeal to the nerds who love Civ)
3) They should not contain anything to get you banned.
4) They don't have to be full stories. They can be, as below, very short.

"I'd like you to have a visit to my burial tomb... for eternally" Says Ramasses looking at a crushed Wu under his chariot.

Ghandi chuckles "Who says I was a pacifist?" as his Giant Death Robots built by an huge enslaved population crushed a house, "I enjoy intruding like any other man."

"This doesn't feel right" says Catherine, tugging at her lace, "Can you loosen it up for me?"

 

[PieceOfMind]

Moderator Action: Sorry guys but this is a family friendly forum, and this 'mature' topic is inappropriate. Thread closed.