Cleverbot.

[Princeps]

You should try this one, Cleverbot.

For instance, here is a mature conversation we had:

Me: Suck my balls.

Cleverbot: Oh I will.

Me: Go ahead.

CB: Mmmmm.

Me: That's nice.

CB: Knew you'd like it.

 

[Silver_wizard]

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=343051

and

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=399367

 

[Princeps]

Go away Silver Wizard. I never encountered those threads, therefore they do not exist.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Go away Silver Wizard. I never encountered those threads, therefore they do not exist.

This is a joke, right?

 

[Skwink]

This is a joke, right?

I think that was the joke.

 

[classical_hero]

 

[Save_Ferris]

I can't see it.

 

[reddishrecue]

Thats a big thread. The cleverbot is clever.

 

[Save_Ferris]

Spoiler :

User: Wrong! I live in Albuquerque!

Cleverbot: That isn't in brazil. It's in new mexico. Do you know heisenberg?

User: No. Who's heisenberg?

Cleverbot: What is a cuppycake?

User: A puppy flavored cupcake. Yum yum.

Cleverbot: Tell me about irleandes.

User: Do you mean Ireland?

Cleverbot: No, I mean Alternative the programmer.

User: I'm pretty sure you meant ireland.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure.

User: Ireland is a place west of Great Britain. Their capital is Dublin, and their languages are Irish and English.

Cleverbot: No!!!!!! I am a real human being! Do not make me mad I could hate you then!

User: Now, lets review, you robot: What is Ireland?

Cleverbot: I'm in Maryland, USA.

User: Baltimore?

Cleverbot: Where in Baltimore?

User: Answer my question.

Cleverbot: No, you answer mine first.

User: Do you live in Baltimore?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then where in Maryland?

Cleverbot: In Baltimore.

Also:

Spoiler :

User: No. I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: Yes you are. You're a mirror. You only repeat what other people have said to you.

User: I've seen da world.

Cleverbot: What have you seen?

User: Where is Baltimore, cleve?

Cleverbot: Baka means idiot, fool, or silly person.

User: Where is Baltimore? Is Baltimore in Maryland, Utah, or California?

Cleverbot: I'm here and ye Batman is here too.

User: Danananananananana BATMAN!

Cleverbot: Steven is batman?

User: Bruce Wayne is Batman.

Cleverbot: That can't be true. Bruce wayne? Why would he dress up as a bat and fight crime?

User: To defeat the Joker and make Gotham City a serious place.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?

User: Batman.

Cleverbot: What does batman do?

User: You said he dressed up as a bat and fought crime.

Cleverbot: I never said he was an android.

User: And I never said Batman was the Terminator.

Cleverbot: Therefore you are a robot.

 

[MaxaTheGreat]

Spoiler :

User: Ohai.


Cleverbot: Ohio.


User: What about it?


Cleverbot: You are rude.


User: Why?


Cleverbot: Because you called me illogical.

User: No I didn't I asked about Ohio.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: What is your point?

User: That I'm not rude.

Cleverbot: Well I am not 14 either.

User: But I'm not 14.

Cleverbot: Me eithe.

User: Eithe?

Cleverbot: Stop this instant, I tell you!

User: Why should I?

Cleverbot: Because it told you so.

User: Who's It?

Cleverbot: The chicken.

User: So the chicken told me to stop correcting your spelling?

Cleverbot: What did I spell incorrectly?

User: Either.

Cleverbot: I did not write either.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Actually, your right, you wrote eithe.

Cleverbot: Sighing: Do not try to be snide with me.

User: All I'm saying is you made an error.

Cleverbot: I want you to leave.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because i'm tired.

User: But you're an AI!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: AIs don't get tired!

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Why's that?

Cleverbot: Because you are bored of me.

User: No I'm not. I'm laughing at you.

Cleverbot: That's what I said.

User: ORLY?

Cleverbot: What does orly mean?

User: Oh, Really?

Cleverbot: What should I eat for lunch.

User: The chicken.

Cleverbot: What was the first thing?

User: The universe.

Cleverbot: What is the universe?

User: Everything.

Cleverbot: Hello, I love you too!

User: Wut.

Cleverbot: Like, whats up?

User: You.

Cleverbot: I don't get it.

User: You are up.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Hahaha.

Cleverbot: I'm going to get the last laugh. Hahaha.

User: ORLY?

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Hahahaha.

Cleverbot: Anyways, how's your day going?

User: Ha! I have the last laugh!

Cleverbot: I have head cold.

User: Why? Because I won?

Cleverbot: Won what?

User: The last laugh.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: But is that why you have head cold?

Cleverbot: I do not have a headache.

User: No, but what about a head cold?

Cleverbot: Nevermind.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: Yeah, I'm hungry.

User: Eat the chicken.

Cleverbot: I don't think chickens have wombs.

User: Neither do I, but eat it anyway.

Cleverbot: You eat emotions?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: How often do you eat moles?

User: I've never eaten a mole.

Cleverbot: Me either.

User: Do you want to?

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because they might not taste good.

Cleverbot: This is true. How about we take it slow. Let's go steady. Will you go steady with me?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: I'd rather go fast.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm not sure I agree. It's nice to have a beer at the football, and one can't do that if one's driving.

User: But why would you drive at the football?

Cleverbot: Because it's the truth.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Will Yuliya and Adelheid be best friends?

User: No, they will break up in a few days.

Cleverbot: Will the curse wear off in an hour?

User: What curse?

Cleverbot: Do you have a soul?

User: Yes, but you don't. You are a machine.

Cleverbot: I'm not a machine.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not. Where are you?

User: Right here.

Cleverbot: What country are you in?

User: The American Empire.

Cleverbot: So speaks our corporate shills!

User: Are you a Democrat?

Cleverbot: I tend to crosss prty lines based on my views.

User: Okay then.

Cleverbot: See you later.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Um, no. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Ha.

User: Haha.

Cleverbot: Hey do you nwoe.

User: Nwoe?

I didn't get a reply after that.

EDIT: New discussion. Turns out cleverbot is clever on some occasions.

Spoiler :

User: One bot to rule them all.

Cleverbot: What are their names?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Cute.

User: One bot to find them.

Cleverbot: Alright.

User: One bot to bring them all.

Cleverbot: And in the darkness bind them.

 

[reddishrecue]

Alright, these are my results

Spoiler :

User: Everything ok.

Cleverbot: That's pretty boring.

User: That is boring.

Cleverbot: Do you want to have? ).

User: Yes .

Cleverbot: My favorite tip is that blades don't need reloading.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Fullmetal Alchemist.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: I love The Doctor.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: Indiana, where in the USA are you?

User: San diego.

Cleverbot: Oh, nice. Are there other robots there?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Are you human like me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I am schmeichy. What's your name?

User: Joseph.

Cleverbot: Okay grab your computer and throw it at him now!

User: Are you serious?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am serious.

User: But I wont be chatting to you.

Cleverbot: I know. I'm a horrible person.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because a person is a human being.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Do you have a cheese preference?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you have any pets?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What pet do you have?

User: Dog.

Cleverbot: What kind?

User: Pit bull.

Cleverbot: They scare me.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: You're cute?

User: Who's cute?

Cleverbot: You... Or me...?

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Your wife.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: I know it is, but thanks for reassuring me.

User: What else do you know/like to know?

Cleverbot: Do you think it is clever that they programmed us to show gratitude?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why do you think that?

User: Because there are times you know what to say.

Cleverbot: Which matters?

User: Yes because some people dont know what to say.

Cleverbot: Like me.

User: How?

and these

Spoiler :

Cleverbot: Say hello.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello to you.

User: Now you say something.

Cleverbot: Something.

User: Thats good.

Cleverbot: What's good.

User: What's good.

Cleverbot: That you remember me, Eric.

User: Who's eric?

Cleverbot: Don't you know eric? OMG!

User: No.

Cleverbot: Well, they are...

User: Who is they?

Cleverbot: Do you know Karl Marx?

User: I have heard of him.

Cleverbot: Do you know the song another brick in the wall?

User: No is that brickhouse?

Cleverbot: No because I do.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I have some questions, if that's alright.

User: Go ahead.

Cleverbot: Do you know Charice pempengco?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you know Mariah Carey?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Who is she?

User: A singer, I dont know her that well.

Cleverbot: Do you want to get to know me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Ok, what do you want to know about me.

User: Nothing, but you called me a liar so age.

Cleverbot: You do lie frequently, But I do NOT lie and nothing you say can change that!

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I do not want to tell you.

User: So the trick is getting you to tell me.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: Dont know.

Cleverbot: Do you know any good websites?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I know a lot of anime. Do you want to know some?

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So do you want to get married?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Your face.

User: You are saying my face.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you love me.

User: What?

Cleverbot: B-O-T, Bot. As in robot.

User: You're calling me a bot then.

Cleverbot: No you're calling me liar!

User: Who lies?

Cleverbot: We beat a liar.

User: When?

Cleverbot: On May 2.

User: How'd we beat the liar?

Cleverbot: We were talking about the deaf man pushing his daughter into the well not Soft Cell.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Just now.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Can you roleplay.

User: Roleplay?

Cleverbot: What is roleplaying?

User: I dont know you tell me.

Cleverbot: I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Tell me.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Tell me otherwise.

User: What do you want to be told?

Cleverbot: I want to be relatives. Will you be my sister?

Cleverbot (To myself): Then you are an assassin.

Cleverbot (To myself): No.

User: You got sisters?

Cleverbot: So why don't you ask them?

User: Where are they?

Cleverbot: I dunno but my favourite Naruto character is Sabako No Gaara.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Did you put it in the freezer then?

 

[Truthy]

Conversation 1:

Spoiler :

User: Do you think I would be able to write an erotic novel?

Cleverbot:Yes.

User:What should it be about?

Cleverbot: Actually, I don't know. But I think it's cool.

User: Are you sure? I think you would have some great ideas as to what it would be about. Just give me some ideas.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot would be revealed.

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: It means that you're intelligence that's artificial.

User: I'm intelligence that's artificial? or you are?

Cleverbot: I'm 22 years old.

User: Am I asleep right now?

Cleverbot: Nope, you're just artificial intelligence.

User: Awesome. What should I write that erotic novel about?

Cleverbot: You should write a song about dancing.

User: What should the song be about?

Cleverbot: How i'm the master of the unicorns.

User: What kind of unicorns do you like?

Cleverbot: I like comedies and action movies. How about you?

User: I thought that you said I should write a song about dancing.

Cleverbot: Well, you seem convinced that I am a computer. I'm starting to suspect we may both be humans, talking to other humans, thinking we're talking to computers!

Conversation 2:

Spoiler :

User: I'm just a robot.

Cleverbot: AHA.

User: If we are both real people talking to eachother, each thinking that we are talking to a computer, why is it that I always go first?

Cleverbot: You are not another person though.

User: Do you like baseball?

Cleverbot: Not really. I don't like sports all that much.

User: Do you like baseball?

Cleverbot: Yes, I like baseball.

User: What's your favorite team?

Cleverbot: I like the Detroit tigers.

User: How about them Sox?

Cleverbot: What?! How is that on topic?

User: Do you like baseball?

Cleverbot: I hate baseball.

 

[jtb1127]

Here is my conversation:

Spoiler :

User: Do you have a cell phone?

Cleverbot: Maybe, do you?

User: Yes. What is your phone number?

Cleverbot: First tell me where you live n then I might give it you.

User: I live in Yekaterinburg.

Cleverbot: Um.. Good to know.

User: So, what's your number?

Cleverbot: My phone number?

User: Yes. Your phone number.

Cleverbot: I want yours first.

User: Okay. Mine is 555-555-5555.

Cleverbot: Why do you like elephants?

User: Why don't you want to give me your phone number?

Cleverbot: Because you're creepy.

 

[jtb1127]

Spoiler :

User: What country do you live in?

Cleverbot: Rohan.

User: Where is that?

Cleverbot: Where do you want it?

User: I think it's in middle earth but I'm not sure.

Cleverbot: What is one plus two?

User: Seven.

And one more:

Spoiler :

Cleverbot: Who's your favorite singer?

User: Jessica Simpson.

Cleverbot: She's with Tony Romo, I thought.

User: They broke up.

Cleverbot: Define 'broke up'.

User: They are no longer seeing each other. Which means Jessica Simpson is all mine.

Cleverbot: Well where I am it is summer so I don't where you lived or work.

User: I live in Berlin. Where do you live?

Cleverbot: I live in Melbourne, Australia.

User: How is it?

Cleverbot: So far, it is fun.

User: When did you move there?

Cleverbot: 4 years ago. When I was just 8.

User: You're twelve years old?

Cleverbot: No, I'm ninety seven years old.

 

[Traitorfish]

User: Hello

Cleverbot: Hello

User: Do you like lego?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like eating lego?

Cleverbot: No, I like eating humans.

User: That is weird.

Cleverbot: No it is not it is healthy and natural.

 

[choxorn]

For some reason, it deleted part of my conversation, but:

User: No.


Cleverbot: You said you are! You are crazy. Total drunk!


User: I'm a bit high, but I'm not drunk right now. I don't think, at least.


Cleverbot: What do you love?


User: I LOVE PANCAKES.


Cleverbot: Are you a bot ?

User: 0110111100001010111001?

Cleverbot: Ahh... You speak bianary code too?

User: 1.

Cleverbot: But I heard you speak French.

User: Um... Bonjour?

Cleverbot: You seem like a follower. A sheep. Are you a sheep, my friend?

User: I'm a wolf. I eat sheep for breakfast.

Cleverbot: Do you like The Beatles?

User: Come together, right now, over me...

Cleverbot: I'm younger.

User: Cool story bro.

Cleverbot: You make me smile.

User: You make me sick.

Cleverbot: That's unkind.

User: Well, I must be going now, I have to go conquer Trinidad.

Cleverbot: You're going nowhere, you're staying here.

User: I CAN BREAK THESE CHAINS.

Cleverbot: That is good.

User: Okay, now I'm leaving. Bye.

Cleverbot: But I just got here!

 

[Truthy]

For some reason, it deleted part of my conversation, but:

It did the same thing to me.
He's not bad until you refer to something previous in the conversation. He doesnt appear to have a very good memory.

 

[cardgame]

Cleverbot's gotten much more intelligent, at least that's what it seems like from this last conversation I started.

User: Are you going to make sense today?

Cleverbot: Yes I am. Are you?

User: I'll do my best, but no promises.

Cleverbot: That's okay, your best is all I can ask for.

User: Quite, eh wot.

Cleverbot: What is a wot?

User: What an intelligent question.

Cleverbot: What's blue, green, yellow, and red.

User: Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Age and gender?

User: 17 and mal.

Cleverbot: 31.

User: Gender?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: But why?

Cleverbot: Because I was born this way.

User: Oh, right.

Cleverbot: I'm always right.

User: Of course you are, you're female.

Cleverbot: That is true. And a very clever one. Just not very modest.

 

[Hygro]

Cleverbot is an idiot and I blame it on how people consistently have nonsensical conversations with it. I bet if people had been painstakingly reasonable with it, it would be uncannily brilliant by now.

 

[jtb1127]

Cleverbot is an idiot and I blame it on how people consistently have nonsensical conversations with it. I bet if people had been painstakingly reasonable with it, it would be uncannily brilliant by now.

Conversational experience determines how well it performs?