2 years ago I posted here about my attempt at quitting alcohol. It can be found here: Here (thanks moderator!!)
This article inspired me to quit drinking for real. I had tried before, but unsuccessful.
For reference: at the end I used to drink about 12 to 15 cans (0.33L or ~11oz) of beer (5%) a day. Every day. Often more, sometimes wine, never booze.
I did that for about 10 years. (age 20 to age 30) You could say I had an alcohol addiction.
This topic is not made to convince you or anyone to stop drinking or to say that alcohol is bad. Simply because that's not my intent (please continue, it's fun) and not my opinion (alcohol is a good thing in society).
What I do want is that if someone has a problem, that this will maybe help him to face it and overcome their addiction. Maybe it will open someone's eyes. Face your problems and overcome them; don't ever be afraid. It's a part of life and will make you stronger.
Also, maybe others have had experiences with alcohol and want to share them. It's also for reference for myself, so I can later on read it.
If you read this and want to know if you have an addiction - check the signs on this site.
alcohol-abuse-and-dependence-symptoms
If you recognize one or more symptoms in your own behavior, that should ring a bell.
I quit drinking 2 years ago. Simply because I couldn't regulate how much I was drinking. I could not stop after 3 beers. My brain would simply say "one more" and I'd follow suit. No mechanism could stop that. I tried, but with the increase of alcohol, the lower the resistance was.
I skipped work, got lazy, neglected friends, family, sports, everything. For a long time I agreed that I should stop... some day. I always thought "some day" I would drink less, just like a normal person. One day I would have a house, job, wife, kids and surely I'd drink less by that time. Right?
But then, at one bright moment I asked myself the following question: "How long are you going to continue this behavior?" ...and then I quit.
If you have an addiction, ask yourself that question.
How I went through it
- I prepared myself: I read about the withdrawal symptoms, about what to expect in general.
- I stopped cold turkey. I didn't slow down first, I didn't "only drink at parties". I'm not saying that's the best way to do it, but it worked for me.
- I did not search professional help. They see quitting at something you do. I see it as something you don't. What I told myself is that I had a problem and I should fix it. Not someone else, not because of someone else. If I didn't succeed, I'd have to try again and again. Until I was successful. In the meantime I'd get to know myself. I'd learn. It would be me I would disappoint if I relapsed. I couldn't stand the idea of going to a meeting either.
Also, help groups exist, by definition, because they think quitting a habit is hard. That's wrong. Quitting is the easiest thing in the world; you just don't do something. If you think something is hard to do, you're setting up for failure.
- My new mantra became "not today".
This one was a MAJOR help, this is why:
how it worked for me: not drinking for a day is easy. Way easier than not drinking for the rest of your life. So I didn't drink for one day. And then again the next day. etc.
how it worked for others: they wouldn't try to convince me to drink. They also wouldn't ask why I wasn't drinking, they'd assume I had to drive (seriously, don't drink and drive). Or they'd assume it was something medical. Or that I had an important day at the job tomorrow. It also prevented that I had to explain to others what was going on.
- I drank fruit juice a lot. Later alcohol free beer. I found some of the same behavior with the alcohol free beers, I'd drink a six-pack in an evening and get nervous when I ran out. This is because the taste of beer (so, also for the alcohol free beer) and the ingredients of beer trigger a release of dopamine in the brain. Needless to say, I don't drink that anymore either. Only rarely. Lately I'm just drinking water, coffee and fresh fruit juice; not the sugar-water with fruit taste added. In bars it's ginger ale or root beer.
Fun note: every person I tell that I don't drink seems to have the urge to tell me how much they drink. Or better, how little. I don't know what mechanism triggers this behavior but 8 of 10 people tell me how much they drink. It's quite funny actually.
Withdrawal:
At first it wasn't funny. I couldn't sleep literally for 2 nights and the 3rd was a hell also. My brain just wouldn't go to sleep mode. I was so used to drinking myself to sleep, that by the time I stopped drinking and went to bed, my brain just said "well, where the hell is my fix. Give me my fix and I will stop the disco in your head."
I sweat like hell for the first 3 days and whenever I got nervous - you get nervous easily.
The timing was perfect. I had just started my new job and had to learn a lot. New people, new computer environment, new rules, new everything. Everything I did for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week was new.
I also joined another (american) football team as a coach, after 6 months I started playing again. So on top of a new job, I had to learn a new defensive scheme, a new position and 25 new team mates. (This was the easy and fun part).
All this with a disco in my head and someone holding a shower over my head.
I still have the same job and just completed the second season on this team. I've retired from football as a player for health reasons but still coach.
Looking back
Had I not quit drinking I would have come late at work at least one day per week and would have to call in 'sick' at least once every 4 weeks. Resulting in an early exit after half a year. Getting yet another job would take at least 2 to 3 months again, and the job I'd find would probably less than what I have now. Because of all that, I could not have found the energy to continue playing and coaching football, I might have quit the team after a few stupid arguments there. Add all the stress that comes with it, I would be a financial and physical wreck.
What has changed in the last 2 years:
- more self-knowledge: I know more what I want, what I'm good at and what I shouldn't do. Before I just wanted the day to be over so I could drink and sleep.
- more confidence: While drinking, I KNEW others would find out, so I avoided breathing at people, I avoided boring get-togethers (no beer) or I would just assume people would see me as someone with a problem. So I over-compensated by being happy, friendly and funny and avoided confrontation.
Now, I'm honest to others, and others to me. World of difference.
I assume nothing now and for the first time in my life when I encounter new people, often their first approach is positive. This positive vibes stays and I can do whatever I want without damaging it. I'm not a total idiot, so "what I want" does not include "mess up the atmosphere".
People respond very well to someone who knows what he wants and doesn't worry too much about what the rest thinks of it. So put yourself into that situation. Sometimes you should do and ask questions later. If someone doesn't like it; they will tell you. If they do; they will tell you.
Looking forward
no idea - I didn't drink today. I plan on not drinking tomorrow either.
I quit watching porn 3 weeks ago. See how that goes.
This article inspired me to quit drinking for real. I had tried before, but unsuccessful.
For reference: at the end I used to drink about 12 to 15 cans (0.33L or ~11oz) of beer (5%) a day. Every day. Often more, sometimes wine, never booze.
I did that for about 10 years. (age 20 to age 30) You could say I had an alcohol addiction.
This topic is not made to convince you or anyone to stop drinking or to say that alcohol is bad. Simply because that's not my intent (please continue, it's fun) and not my opinion (alcohol is a good thing in society).
What I do want is that if someone has a problem, that this will maybe help him to face it and overcome their addiction. Maybe it will open someone's eyes. Face your problems and overcome them; don't ever be afraid. It's a part of life and will make you stronger.
Also, maybe others have had experiences with alcohol and want to share them. It's also for reference for myself, so I can later on read it.
If you read this and want to know if you have an addiction - check the signs on this site.
alcohol-abuse-and-dependence-symptoms
If you recognize one or more symptoms in your own behavior, that should ring a bell.
I quit drinking 2 years ago. Simply because I couldn't regulate how much I was drinking. I could not stop after 3 beers. My brain would simply say "one more" and I'd follow suit. No mechanism could stop that. I tried, but with the increase of alcohol, the lower the resistance was.
I skipped work, got lazy, neglected friends, family, sports, everything. For a long time I agreed that I should stop... some day. I always thought "some day" I would drink less, just like a normal person. One day I would have a house, job, wife, kids and surely I'd drink less by that time. Right?
But then, at one bright moment I asked myself the following question: "How long are you going to continue this behavior?" ...and then I quit.
If you have an addiction, ask yourself that question.
How I went through it
- I prepared myself: I read about the withdrawal symptoms, about what to expect in general.
- I stopped cold turkey. I didn't slow down first, I didn't "only drink at parties". I'm not saying that's the best way to do it, but it worked for me.
- I did not search professional help. They see quitting at something you do. I see it as something you don't. What I told myself is that I had a problem and I should fix it. Not someone else, not because of someone else. If I didn't succeed, I'd have to try again and again. Until I was successful. In the meantime I'd get to know myself. I'd learn. It would be me I would disappoint if I relapsed. I couldn't stand the idea of going to a meeting either.
Also, help groups exist, by definition, because they think quitting a habit is hard. That's wrong. Quitting is the easiest thing in the world; you just don't do something. If you think something is hard to do, you're setting up for failure.
- My new mantra became "not today".
This one was a MAJOR help, this is why:
how it worked for me: not drinking for a day is easy. Way easier than not drinking for the rest of your life. So I didn't drink for one day. And then again the next day. etc.
how it worked for others: they wouldn't try to convince me to drink. They also wouldn't ask why I wasn't drinking, they'd assume I had to drive (seriously, don't drink and drive). Or they'd assume it was something medical. Or that I had an important day at the job tomorrow. It also prevented that I had to explain to others what was going on.
- I drank fruit juice a lot. Later alcohol free beer. I found some of the same behavior with the alcohol free beers, I'd drink a six-pack in an evening and get nervous when I ran out. This is because the taste of beer (so, also for the alcohol free beer) and the ingredients of beer trigger a release of dopamine in the brain. Needless to say, I don't drink that anymore either. Only rarely. Lately I'm just drinking water, coffee and fresh fruit juice; not the sugar-water with fruit taste added. In bars it's ginger ale or root beer.
Fun note: every person I tell that I don't drink seems to have the urge to tell me how much they drink. Or better, how little. I don't know what mechanism triggers this behavior but 8 of 10 people tell me how much they drink. It's quite funny actually.
Withdrawal:
At first it wasn't funny. I couldn't sleep literally for 2 nights and the 3rd was a hell also. My brain just wouldn't go to sleep mode. I was so used to drinking myself to sleep, that by the time I stopped drinking and went to bed, my brain just said "well, where the hell is my fix. Give me my fix and I will stop the disco in your head."
I sweat like hell for the first 3 days and whenever I got nervous - you get nervous easily.
The timing was perfect. I had just started my new job and had to learn a lot. New people, new computer environment, new rules, new everything. Everything I did for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week was new.
I also joined another (american) football team as a coach, after 6 months I started playing again. So on top of a new job, I had to learn a new defensive scheme, a new position and 25 new team mates. (This was the easy and fun part).
All this with a disco in my head and someone holding a shower over my head.
I still have the same job and just completed the second season on this team. I've retired from football as a player for health reasons but still coach.
Looking back
Had I not quit drinking I would have come late at work at least one day per week and would have to call in 'sick' at least once every 4 weeks. Resulting in an early exit after half a year. Getting yet another job would take at least 2 to 3 months again, and the job I'd find would probably less than what I have now. Because of all that, I could not have found the energy to continue playing and coaching football, I might have quit the team after a few stupid arguments there. Add all the stress that comes with it, I would be a financial and physical wreck.
What has changed in the last 2 years:
- more self-knowledge: I know more what I want, what I'm good at and what I shouldn't do. Before I just wanted the day to be over so I could drink and sleep.
- more confidence: While drinking, I KNEW others would find out, so I avoided breathing at people, I avoided boring get-togethers (no beer) or I would just assume people would see me as someone with a problem. So I over-compensated by being happy, friendly and funny and avoided confrontation.
Now, I'm honest to others, and others to me. World of difference.
I assume nothing now and for the first time in my life when I encounter new people, often their first approach is positive. This positive vibes stays and I can do whatever I want without damaging it. I'm not a total idiot, so "what I want" does not include "mess up the atmosphere".
People respond very well to someone who knows what he wants and doesn't worry too much about what the rest thinks of it. So put yourself into that situation. Sometimes you should do and ask questions later. If someone doesn't like it; they will tell you. If they do; they will tell you.
Looking forward
no idea - I didn't drink today. I plan on not drinking tomorrow either.
I quit watching porn 3 weeks ago. See how that goes.
